Perspective. It comes at odd times. Watching my son as he sleeps. Reading about the passing of someone you know. Looking at the sky and feeling small. These are the times when the important things in life are very real, and right there with you.

There is more to this life than we acknowledge. We try to hide ourselves away. Lead a nice little life. Watch from the sidelines. Then, when we least expect it, life reminds us that we are frail. Our time here is short, and getting even shorter. We don’t have a lot of time, so we should be making the most of what we have doing the important things.

The following is an excerpt from a short story I wrote a while back. It is a description of time passing:

“Time chases us all…and one day catches us,” he said to me as we sat at the bar. “We don’t notice it when we are young because our legs are strong and our steps are light.” The old man paused for a second to take a drink.

“As we age the grasp of time tugs at our ankles. It trips us and we start to stumble. We are not able to move as fast as we once did.” A remorse lay deep in his eyes as he spoke these words. “As we age further we reach the point where time has crawled like a bandit on to our backs. It weighs us down and seeks to steal the life we live.” He paused again, savoring the flavor of his last drink.

“It’s weight becomes so unbearable that we eventually break. We fall to the ground…and our time is gone on this earth.” His eyes were misty. Time was indeed catching up to him. His tired old eyes had seen many hard days I was sure.

Our time to make an impact is now. Even if it is just with those around us. Do the important work. Leave a legacy. Keeping things in perspective is tough at times, but it is essential. It is hard to be a positive force in the world without it. One day when time crawls on your back you can greet it as an old friend and walk happily with it on your way.

There are many who believe these two words go hand in hand and that to have one you must have the other. I have a different take. (For this post I define nice as pleasing; agreeable; delightful. I am defining good as excellent or virtuous.)

There are four ways to look at this:

1. There are things that are good and nice at the same time.

2. There are things that are good, but not nice.

3. There are things that are nice, but not good.

4. There are things that are neither.

I know a woman who I find to be a good person. From the conversations we have had she seems to be very genuine and heartfelt. She can be nice. But that is not her strong point. She is good. Good at her job. Good to her friends. A good person. I wouldn’t consider her a consistently nice person. It wouldn’t fit her if she were. She doesn’t have to be both.

There are times when people refuse to tell you what they should. They don’t want to hurt your feelings. They don’t want to turn into a difficult conversation. The could choose to be good and do the right thing. The settle for being nice and letting something continue that shouldn’t.

It has been a paradigm shift to look at things like this. Knowing that the good thing to do is not always the nice thing to do flies in the face of convention. People aren’t used to hearing the truth. It hurts, but the truth is a good thing. It is not always a nice thing though.

We face the choice everyday of how we respond to things. If we can do both nice and good, great. If we must choose one over the other, do it with caution.

I find it amazing that if two people start in the same spot and travel in seemingly the same direction that they could end up very far apart. Person 1 travels in a straight line. Person 2 travels in a straight line, but pointed 2 a couple of degrees different than Person 1. By the time they have traveled a few hundred miles there is some serious distance between them.

I talked to an old friend not long ago. We talked about people that we had known back in the day and where they were now. She told me of a mutual friend that we had had back then and where he was today. He and I were friends. We were headed in the same direction. We only varied by a few degrees. Now he is there and I am here. We are several years down the line and a life experience apart.

This is not a tale of good or bad. He is doing well, but our lives are very different. This is a tale of degrees. It is amazing to me how similar we seemed then and how different we are now. A choice here. A choice there. Repeated over time.

The choices can be subtle. Taking a new class. Learning a new skill. If you are purposeful about it the small choices you make today can make a huge difference in your future. Where do you need to adjust course by a degree or two?

Since the very first Toy Story movie came out I have been a huge Pixar fan. I am guessing I am like a lot of people. I was a 17 when I first saw Toy Story. It blew me away.

Well, here I am. It is 15 years later and Pixar has done it again. My wife and I took our son to the movies three nights ago and we discovered that Toy Story 3 might just be one of their best.

I have all of the Pixar films. All of them have been good in their own way. They have blown me away time and time again. (I have probably seen The Incredibles and Cars a dozen times each.) None of them left me feeling like this one did.

It was funny. It was sad. It had its tense moments. It dealt with touching subjects. Toy Story 3 was an awesome movie.

One of the things that got me was this: It was bittersweet for Andy to give up his toys. He loved his childhood. He lived it well. Now, it is time to grow up and he knows it. He comes to the moment where he realizes his childhood is over and he is thankful. He leaves the toys he loves in the hands of a young one so that she can have the same chance at adventure and imagination that he had. It was extremely touching. It has me thinking days later.

Here is one of the questions that I have asked myself: What things from my past were good in their season, but now need to be let go of so that I can grow? I am still thinking about the answer. What about you? Are there things you are holding on to that were good once, but now are holding you back? Is it time to grow?

Good stories do this. They make us think. They stick with us. Toy Story 3 was that kind of movie.

Like the choice was really hard. Actually, it kinda was. A little. Well, the hardest thing to give up was the availability. Open 24 hours? Have nothing to do at 2 am? Go to Wal-Mart. Ok. I used to do that in college, but you get the point.

Wal-Mart is attractive to many people because they are a one stop shop for most things. It is easy to get your oil changed, pick up some milk, buy a TV, and get the baby food all in one spot. Unfortunately to go along with all of that, on more than one occasion I have encountered some of the worst customer service I have ever seen. (If you work at Wal-Mart and are a kind, courteous person, I apologize to you. The previous comment was not intended to offend those who actually care how they respond to customers.)

The last time I was in the store, December 31, 2009, I was looking for an anniversary present for my wife. My one year old son and I were shopping around and I had hoped to find a good deal on the item that she wanted. I asked an associate where it might be located. She told me that if they had it, it would be in such and such place. Her boredom poured off of her. So, I went looking and couldn’t find it. I thought I might have looked in the wrong place. I went back and asked again. She looked up at me and, with a tone of annoyance, told me that Wal-Mart didn’t carry that item. She treated me like I was a moron for asking.

I decided in that moment that Wal-Mart no longer needed my money. I was not upset that they didn’t have the item I was looking for. I was upset that I had to go to the associate twice, asking the same question, and she couldn’t tell me the first time that they didn’t carry the item. She was even a bit rude. It was like my desire to purchase an item from her store was inconvenient at the time. That was not the first time I had encountered this kind of issue in Wal-Mart, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I have discovered something interesting in my time away though. The mom and pop store still exists. There are still stores out there that want your business and will go out of their way to make sure you are satisfied. AND they are no more expensive in many cases. AND their products are actually better quality.

I may never set foot in a Wal-Mart again. I can’t think of any reason I would need to outside of a major emergency. So, I will take my grocery money somewhere else. The Christmas and birthday monies I spend every year will go to another establishment. No, my few thousand dollars a year may not matter much to Wal-Mart, but they matter to me. I want them to go somewhere they are appreciated.

Funny thing is, had that associate treated me with kindness and respect, I would never had to write this blog post, I would have most likely have let the incident go. But, I wouldn’t have taken the time to go into some of the places I have gone. Wal-Mart’s loss is someone else’s gain…mine.