The Hidden Cost of Starting Over

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been trying to build better habits for years. Long before the current challenge I’m in — a 280-day experiment in showing up every single day — I tried other versions. Different names, different structures, same intention. And every single time, the thing that killed it wasn’t a lack of motivation. It was the restart.

I’d get a streak going. Two weeks, maybe three. Then life would interrupt — a trip, a bad week, a day where I just didn’t feel like it. One day off became two. Two became a week. And when I came back, nothing was where I left it. The rhythm was gone. The writing felt stiff. The habits that had started to feel automatic suddenly felt like lifting furniture again. So I’d white-knuckle through a few days, lose steam, and stop. Then start over. Again.

I’ve been thinking about why this time is different. Twenty-two consecutive days. No breaks. And what I’ve realized is that the streak itself isn’t the point. The point is what the streak protects me from: the tax.

Every time you stop and restart, you pay a cost. A one-day break costs almost nothing — maybe an hour of finding your rhythm again. A week off costs a full day. Two weeks off and you’re spending three to five days just rebuilding what decayed while you were gone. The project goes cold. The voice drifts. Arguments lose their edge. You’re not warming up anymore. You’re reconstructing.

That’s why the person who writes five hundred words every day beats the person who writes three thousand words twice a week, even though the weekly totals look the same on paper. The daily writer never pays the restart tax. The other one pays it a hundred and four times a year.

I know this because I’ve been both writers. The version of me who worked in bursts always felt like he was grinding harder and producing less. He was. Not because he wasn’t talented or disciplined, but because he was spending half his energy getting back to where he’d already been.

Twenty-two days in a row doesn’t sound like much. But twenty-two days with zero restarts means every ounce of energy has gone forward. Nothing spent rebuilding. Nothing lost to friction. Just momentum, compounding quietly, one day at a time.

Consistency isn’t discipline theater. It’s tax avoidance.

The Lie

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Somewhere around age eighteen, most of us were told to pick. Pick a major. Pick a career. Pick a direction. And the unspoken rule underneath all of it was that whatever you picked, that was it. That was your life. You chose wrong? Tough. You chose right but lost interest? Too bad. The conveyor belt only moves in one direction.

That’s the lie.

I bought it. Most of my generation did. I picked a plan at eighteen, and by the time I was halfway through college, I knew it was wrong. It took me until I was twenty-nine to actually do something about it. Eleven years of knowing and not acting, because somewhere in the back of my head, a voice kept saying you already chose.

Those eleven years weren’t wasted — I learned things along the way that I still carry. But they were heavy. There’s a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from building something you already know isn’t yours. You show up. You do the work. You get decent at it. And the whole time, there’s a low hum underneath everything telling you this isn’t it. You ignore it because the system told you that you already picked, and picking again means you failed the first time.

Nobody ever told me to pick one thing and drop the rest. If they had, I’d have told them to bug off. But nobody had to say it out loud. The system said it for them. The degree structure said it. The career ladder said it. The question every adult asks every eighteen-year-old — “so what are you going to do with your life?” — said it. As if the answer is supposed to be one sentence long and permanent.

Here’s what actually happened after I finally let go of the plan: I fell into data management and discovered I was good at it. I picked up a guitar and wrote songs. I started telling stories and eventually published a novel. None of it was the plan at eighteen. All of it built on what came before.

Variety isn’t the enemy of mastery. It’s the raw material for it. The more things you learn, the more connections you can make between them — and those connections are where the real value lives.

You were not meant to be one thing.

Nothing Comes Easy

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

In 2013, I wrote a song called “Nothing Comes Easy.” I was in a different season of life — still fighting, still grinding, still trying to figure out what the next chapter was supposed to look like. I sat down with a guitar and wrote what I was feeling. Recently, I ran that old recording through an AI music tool and heard it fully produced for the first time. You can listen to it here: Nothing Comes Easy

“This time’s not like all the times before. I’m not here to fight — I’m here to win the war.”

I didn’t fully understand what I was writing. I thought I did. I thought I knew what war I was talking about. But 2013 David hadn’t been through his second round of cancer yet. He hadn’t published a novel. He hadn’t started a 280-day challenge to rebuild his habits from the ground up. He wrote the lyric because it sounded true. I’m living it now because it is.

That’s the strange thing about writing something before you’re ready for it. The words sit there, waiting for you to grow into them. You think you’re being honest in the moment, and you are — but there’s a version of that honesty you can’t access yet because you haven’t earned it. You have to go through the thing the song is about before the song actually belongs to you.

Thirteen years later, I know what war I was writing about. It wasn’t one fight. It was the decision to keep showing up — through cancer, through setbacks, through the long stretch of days where nothing moves and nobody notices. Easy doesn’t teach you that. Only the grind does.

I wrote a bridge in that song: “A fire’s burning deep in me. However long it takes, I’ll be free.” I didn’t know it was a promise to myself. But here I am, keeping it.

Passion Is Not a North Star

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I just finished Cal Newport’s So Good They Can’t Ignore You. His thesis is that passion follows mastery — you don’t find your dream job by following your heart, you build it by getting so good at something valuable that opportunities find you. He profiles people who spent years developing rare skills before the work they were meant to do finally revealed itself.

I think he’s right. But I think there’s a layer underneath his argument that he doesn’t quite name.

Passion comes and goes.

Take marriage. My wife and I love each other deeply. I’ll be with her as long as my wedding vows stipulate, because that’s my wife, and I love her. Do we always feel swelling passion for each other? No. That doesn’t mean we feel the opposite. It just means passion is a feeling. And feelings move. We can’t spend every day just being passionate about each other. We have to get groceries. Cook meals. Take care of the house. Go to work. Raise our children. And the passion that runs in and through all of that is what makes it rich.

I think work is the same way. We find things we have an aptitude for. We get good at them. Some days we’re fired up about it. Other days we grind through it because it needs to be done. I’ve been in data management for twenty years. I didn’t get genuinely good at it until maybe 2021, when I was handed a project and told to get it finished and make it work. I had to crawl back into every design decision, review every technical document, and make sure what was written in the code was what we were actually delivering. When we went live, I felt proud. I didn’t realize until years later how impressive what we’d built actually was, given how scattered things were when we started.

That wasn’t passion that got me through that project. It was dedication. The passion came later, when I could see what the work had built.

Months into this challenge, the grind hasn’t made me more passionate. It’s made things clearer. I can see where the skills I’ve built are converging. I can feel the intersection getting closer. And I know — because marriage taught me this, and work confirmed it — that passion isn’t the thing that gets you there. Dedication is. Passion is just what you feel when you look up and realize you’ve arrived.

The Estate Sale

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

One of our favorite things to do as a family is go to estate sales. We’ve been doing it for years. Walk through our house and you’ll see the evidence — furniture, quilts, cookware, books, decorations. There’s no shortage of things we’ve found in other people’s homes that have become part of ours.

What I’ve learned from walking through these sales is that you can feel who lived there. Some homes are full of life — evidence of family, hobbies, holidays, projects half-finished because the person who started them was too busy living to sit still. Others carry a weight you can sense the moment you step inside. The conditions of the house, the state of the belongings, the quiet that sits in the rooms. You know.

Today was one of the good ones.

This house was packed. The family told us they’d spent close to two months going through everything, pulled out what they wanted, and what we were looking at was what was left. And there was still a ridiculous amount of stuff. Old sewing machines. A shop full of tools for machinery work. More cookbooks than you could count — shopping bags stuffed with them, eight dollars a bag. Quilting supplies. Evidence of a life spent making things with your hands.

Out beside a barn sat an Econoline van from the early eighties. Looked like something the A-Team would have driven. It had been sitting there so long that a tree was growing up through the front grille. When they tried to move it, the tires had rotted off and the tie rods snapped. Someone bought it for three hundred dollars for the engine. The rest was gone.

I think about this stuff every time we go to one of these sales. One day, someone is going to walk through my house. They’re going to look at what I left behind and get a sense of who I was. They’re going to feel something when they step through the door.

I want them to feel the good kind. The kind that says this person was here on purpose.

One day there won’t be any time left. Today there is.