I have been a lot lately about goals. Being the new year, it fits. I was reading the other day about it and ran across this statement…It is never too late to be who you might have been. I read this in an article that was written by Mark Batterson about how he sets goals. It jumped off the page and hit me over the head. 

Mark is the pastor of a vibrant church in the Washington DC area. This line is one of the church’s core values. It is never too late to be who you might have become. That means that no matter how much time has gone by, you can still move toward a worthy dream. The dream may look a little different than it did when you first dreamed it, but it is worth pursuing all the same. The dream leads you to be more of who you really are. 

This made me reflect on an example from my life. My Grandma Willis was in her late 50s when she finished her art degree. She was quite the artist and quite the woman from what I remember and the stories I have been told. It was a proud day for her when she accomplished it. She achieved a dream that many people would have though her too old to have. She didn’t listen to the naysayers. She didn’t give it up.

There are pieces of her art still hanging in my parent’s house. I, for one, am glad she didn’t give up the dream. The paintings that she left behind are a reminder to keep moving forward. They are a reminder to keep going when others say you shouldn’t. That inspires me. She inspires me still…even though she has been gone 35 years.

How about you? What dream have you been holding on to? Has it been in you, dormant for years? Maybe it is time to dust it off. Is there a goal you have wanted to achieve? Maybe it is time to hold it in your hand. 

It is never too late to be who you might have become. 

I wrote this from the point of view of a person waking up to being in a toxic relationship and finally breaking free. Thankful that this one has nothing to do with me.

Verse 1

It is three in the morning, another night without sleep, listening to you ramble on, promises you will never keep, seems that my choice to go has gotten through your head, when all the times before you wouldn’t know if I was dead

Chorus

I am better off without you, there is no doubt in my mind, I spent too much time around you, guess even fake love is blind, Now I’ve broken free, I will be on my way, Don’t bother trying to speak, there is nothing left to say

Verse 2

You should stop your lying, you know I can see right through. All you ever wanted from me was someone to complain to.. It took me a little time, but I have come to find the truth, this ship is going down, time to do what I have to do

Chorus

I am better off without you, there is no doubt in my mind, I spent too much time around you, guess even fake love is blind, Now I’ve broken free, I will be on my way, Don’t bother trying to speak, there is nothing left to say

Bridge

Don’t act like this hurts you, don’t make like you care, don’t roll over to wake me up, cause you know I won’t be there.

Chorus

I am better off without you, there is no doubt in my mind, I spent too much time around you, guess even fake love is blind, Now I’ve broken free, I will be on my way, Don’t bother trying to speak, there is nothing left to say

I read something this evening that made me pause. We can’t save time. We can only choose how to use it. Once we allocate it to something, that same block of time can’t be allocated to anything else. It is spent. It is gone.

Do I spend my time on what is most important? Do I actually choose to spend my time, or am I letting it rush by without guiding it and therefore wasting it? How do I choose? What is most important?

For me, the following are the most important things in my life:

1. My bride – I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am for this wonderful woman. She has been my best friend since I was 19 years old. We have walked through amazing times together. We have also seen dark days too. She is one of the most important things in my life.

2. My boy – It is amazing to me to watch this amazing boy grow. He is smart. He is brave. He has one of the best laughs in the world. He also has an amazing heart. I look at this kid and I well up with pride. He is a lot like his mama and a lot like me. He is one of the most important things in my life.

3. My family – whether blood or God given, I love my family with everything that I am. I love them. Every time we are together I enjoy them. When we are apart I can’t wait till we get to spend more time. They are one of the most important things in my life.

4. My God – He gives me breath. He gives me life. Without Him there would be nothing. He is the most important thing in my life.

There are other things I could list here as well. When considering how I spend my time though, these are the four items that get top priority. Obviously, I have other items I have to devote time to, but for the four things listed above…I will never regret spending focused time.

Have you developed your list of what is most important to you? Are there things you spend your time on that shouldn’t make the list? What is most important? If you don’t choose, you will still spend that time and never get it back. Best to choose what to spend it on and be proud that you did.

Choices. We make them all the time. What we want to wear. What we want to do. What we want to eat. The decisions and options are endless. Some choices are hard to make. Some are so ingrained that we make them without having to think.

It is easy to let your brain go on autopilot isn’t it? We make choices all the time this way. I am not so sure it is the best way.

I have tried to pay attention of late to how and why I make the choices that I do. Why did I respond to that question the way I did? Why did I not get done what I set out to do? Why did I say yes to that extra piece of cake? Every one of these decisions stemmed from a choices, and maybe an earlier choice.

It may seem like I am being picky here, but all of the little choices are as important as the big ones. It is smaller choices that pave the way to the bigger ones. The little details are important.

The truth is this: I am responsible for me. I chose the way I respond to things. If I choose to get upset with my son because he misbehaves, it is a choice that I make. How I handle the situation is a choice. How I fashion my words to correct him is a choice. How I give him instruction (positively or negatively) is a choice. How I reassure him after correcting the wrong action is a choice as well. Through the entire ordeal, I can choose the message I want to convey to him.

This is relevant to all of life. We make choices every day that are building blocks for other choices. If I lay a foundation of good choices, I can continue to make good choices. I will get things accomplished. I can build trust with people. If I choose not to deal with whatever the issue is at hand, that is a choice as well and problems can compound from there.

So, I choose to show my family love and not frustration. I choose to eat things that are good for me, because I want to live life to the full and be here for my family. I choose to be responsible for me.

I have turned off the autopilot. The ride may be bumpy at times, but when I arrive at my destination it will be where I have chosen to go.

I wrote this after ten years of marriage. I feel it even more after 21 years gone by. I love you Marixa!

If I had known what lay down this path

When I started down it long ago

I would not change a thing

I would not be who I am now

If the path had been different.

Of this I am sure

Loving you has shaped me.

You have helped me grow

Into a man that I am proud to be.

Each new day I wake up more in love

With the woman that I married.

She is so much more than the girl she once was.

Like stars colliding our paths intertwined

A gravity that we could not explain drew us in

We are still locked blissfully in love’s stronghold.

I am a decade down this road

Through paths that have curved and turned

But the journey has been so very sweet

For all of my life this path I will travel

Walking beside you hand in hand

For as I travel along with you, my heart is at home.