I read it in the news a couple of days ago. HP has ousted its CEO after an investigation of a sexual harassment complaint found that he had falsified expense reports and other documents to conceal a relationship with a contractor. (quoted from http://www.newsok.com) The article went on to say that he had also helped the woman get paid for work that she had not done. The board of directors at HP issued a statement indicating that they did not believe that it was in the best interest of the company to have this man leading anymore.

From what I have read, he has been instrumental over the past few years in reshaping the company. HP is now an industry leader because of this man’s leadership and vision. He has been good for the company. So good, in fact, he was in negotiations for a new contract worth 100 million dollars. He is good at what he does and was to be rewarded for it.

Now, because of poor personal choices, he has to settle for ¼ of what would have been his. I have no clue how much money he funneled to this contractor, but was it worth losing 75 million dollars? I read that he offered to pay for everything that went on. While that is good, at this point it doesn’t fix the flaw that caused the problem in the first place. The damage has been done.

The choices we make send ripples out into the world that we are a part of. Some of our choices seemingly cause little impact because of the sphere of influence that we find ourselves in, but we will not be able to find ourselves in a larger sphere of influence unless solid choices are made. This man is in an enormous sphere of influence. His choices ripple out like ocean waves crashing into everything they hit. When this news hit it caused the stock of HP to drop 10%. Not only did his choice affect his pocket book, it affected the pocket book of every investor of HP.

I make no attempt to judge what this man did or didn’t do. I do not have enough facts, nor am I fitted for that role. There may be very little wrong doing here. But, the appearance of wrong is all it takes sometimes. People have no problem making up the story line from a few random facts that are thrown together.

For my own life, it reminds me to be faithful in the small things. God forbid I find success one day and not have foundation to handle it. What are you doing to build your foundation for success? How do you respond when you read stories like this one?

Choices. We make them all the time. What we want to wear. What we want to do. What we want to eat. The decisions and options are endless. Some choices are hard to make. Some are so ingrained that we make them without having to think.

It is easy to let your brain go on autopilot isn’t it? We make choices all the time this way. I am not so sure it is the best way.

I have tried to pay attention of late to how and why I make the choices that I do. Why did I respond to that question the way I did? Why did I not get done what I set out to do? Why did I say yes to that extra piece of cake? Every one of these decisions stemmed from a choices, and maybe an earlier choice.

It may seem like I am being picky here, but all of the little choices are as important as the big ones. It is smaller choices that pave the way to the bigger ones. The little details are important.

The truth is this: I am responsible for me. I chose the way I respond to things. If I choose to get upset with my son because he misbehaves, it is a choice that I make. How I handle the situation is a choice. How I fashion my words to correct him is a choice. How I give him instruction (positively or negatively) is a choice. How I reassure him after correcting the wrong action is a choice as well. Through the entire ordeal, I can choose the message I want to convey to him.

This is relevant to all of life. We make choices every day that are building blocks for other choices. If I lay a foundation of good choices, I can continue to make good choices. I will get things accomplished. I can build trust with people. If I choose not to deal with whatever the issue is at hand, that is a choice as well and problems can compound from there.

So, I choose to show my family love and not frustration. I choose to eat things that are good for me, because I want to live life to the full and be here for my family. I choose to be responsible for me.

I have turned off the autopilot. The ride may be bumpy at times, but when I arrive at my destination it will be where I have chosen to go.

Perspective. It comes at odd times. Watching my son as he sleeps. Reading about the passing of someone you know. Looking at the sky and feeling small. These are the times when the important things in life are very real, and right there with you.

There is more to this life than we acknowledge. We try to hide ourselves away. Lead a nice little life. Watch from the sidelines. Then, when we least expect it, life reminds us that we are frail. Our time here is short, and getting even shorter. We don’t have a lot of time, so we should be making the most of what we have doing the important things.

The following is an excerpt from a short story I wrote a while back. It is a description of time passing:

“Time chases us all…and one day catches us,” he said to me as we sat at the bar. “We don’t notice it when we are young because our legs are strong and our steps are light.” The old man paused for a second to take a drink.

“As we age the grasp of time tugs at our ankles. It trips us and we start to stumble. We are not able to move as fast as we once did.” A remorse lay deep in his eyes as he spoke these words. “As we age further we reach the point where time has crawled like a bandit on to our backs. It weighs us down and seeks to steal the life we live.” He paused again, savoring the flavor of his last drink.

“It’s weight becomes so unbearable that we eventually break. We fall to the ground…and our time is gone on this earth.” His eyes were misty. Time was indeed catching up to him. His tired old eyes had seen many hard days I was sure.

Our time to make an impact is now. Even if it is just with those around us. Do the important work. Leave a legacy. Keeping things in perspective is tough at times, but it is essential. It is hard to be a positive force in the world without it. One day when time crawls on your back you can greet it as an old friend and walk happily with it on your way.

There are many who believe these two words go hand in hand and that to have one you must have the other. I have a different take. (For this post I define nice as pleasing; agreeable; delightful. I am defining good as excellent or virtuous.)

There are four ways to look at this:

1. There are things that are good and nice at the same time.

2. There are things that are good, but not nice.

3. There are things that are nice, but not good.

4. There are things that are neither.

I know a woman who I find to be a good person. From the conversations we have had she seems to be very genuine and heartfelt. She can be nice. But that is not her strong point. She is good. Good at her job. Good to her friends. A good person. I wouldn’t consider her a consistently nice person. It wouldn’t fit her if she were. She doesn’t have to be both.

There are times when people refuse to tell you what they should. They don’t want to hurt your feelings. They don’t want to turn into a difficult conversation. The could choose to be good and do the right thing. The settle for being nice and letting something continue that shouldn’t.

It has been a paradigm shift to look at things like this. Knowing that the good thing to do is not always the nice thing to do flies in the face of convention. People aren’t used to hearing the truth. It hurts, but the truth is a good thing. It is not always a nice thing though.

We face the choice everyday of how we respond to things. If we can do both nice and good, great. If we must choose one over the other, do it with caution.

I find it amazing that if two people start in the same spot and travel in seemingly the same direction that they could end up very far apart. Person 1 travels in a straight line. Person 2 travels in a straight line, but pointed 2 a couple of degrees different than Person 1. By the time they have traveled a few hundred miles there is some serious distance between them.

I talked to an old friend not long ago. We talked about people that we had known back in the day and where they were now. She told me of a mutual friend that we had had back then and where he was today. He and I were friends. We were headed in the same direction. We only varied by a few degrees. Now he is there and I am here. We are several years down the line and a life experience apart.

This is not a tale of good or bad. He is doing well, but our lives are very different. This is a tale of degrees. It is amazing to me how similar we seemed then and how different we are now. A choice here. A choice there. Repeated over time.

The choices can be subtle. Taking a new class. Learning a new skill. If you are purposeful about it the small choices you make today can make a huge difference in your future. Where do you need to adjust course by a degree or two?