I have something to admit. There are times that I have a hard time asking for help. There is a prideful spot in me that believes I should be able to do whatever I undertake without help. Like it is admitting weakness or making less of myself to ask someone else to lend me a hand. News flash! It isn’t. There are things I can learn on my own and then there are times you have to find someone who really knows.

For instance, I need help buying  insurance. Despite what some of the companies on TV will tell you, it is a good thing to have an old fashioned insurance agent help you determine what kind of coverage you need for you home and auto. You need someone who is well versed in the subject to help you protect yourself should something unfortunate happen.

An example: if I go get insurance from one of the compaines that tempts me to pick my own coverage on the internet (without dealing with an agent) and I only get the state minimum coverage (because according to the commercial that is all I need), I put myself at great risk for Murphy’s Law to show up and kick me in the butt. State minimum coverage in Texas for auto insurance is 30/60/25.

That means you have 25 thousand dollars max for physical damage that you do to someone else’s vehicle, along with 30 thousand dollars medical coverage (max) for each injured person, with 60 thousand dollar max for all medical claims. If I only have the minimum coverage and I cause a wreck that totals a brand new 18 wheeler (some are in excess of 140 thousand new for just the truck…it is another 50+ thousand for the trailer) I am on the hook legally for 190 thousand dollars in physical damages. My insurance policy will pay out my coverage and the people I wrecked can sue me for the rest. Not a good place to be in.

I have seen the study material that many agents use to get their licenses. There is a bunch of information. The good agents know it all very well. They study it. They live it. I think it better to ask for help in this situation.

This is only one example I could mention. There are a ton of other things in this life that I could try to go alone, but would be so much better off if I just asked for help in the first place. There is no shame in admitting that you don’t know how to do something. The shame comes when you realize that you need help and are too chicken or bullheaded to ask for it.

There is two verses from the book of Proverbs that sum up what I am trying to say:

The way of a fool seems right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15 (I would say he not only listens to advice, but seeks it out.)

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14

The older I get the more I realize I don’t have everything figured out. (Surprise, surprise.) There are things I know how to do well and rarely ask for help on. There are even more that I know I don’t know how to do and will gladly find someone who does.

Have you ever sat through a presentation and thought, “what are they talking about?” It’s not that you don’t know the topic…it is the presenter hasn’t landed on what they are trying to say. Have you ever been there? Is it just me?

I have done a fair amount of speech coaching over the years. With everyone I have coached my question stays the same…what do you want me to know? When the speech or presentation is done what information do you want me to walk away with?

I would like to share with you a few ways to accomplish this.

1. Don’t make your topic too broad. Many people go into a presentation and try to tell you everything they know on the topic. When you do this there is no central focus to the presentation and the audience gets over saturated.

2. Tell the audience what you want them to know. If you are giving a speech on the best way to make a pie, tell the audience, “In this presentation you will learn the best way to make a pie. It is as easy as following these simple steps.” Then, lead them through the simple steps. Only go as deep in your explanation as your audience needs you to go to achieve your stated outcome of teaching the group the best way to make a pie.

3. Speak at the level of your audience. This should be an easy one, but I have been to many presentations where the presenter went too deep too quick. I have been to others where I expected depth, but never received any. Size up your audience and deliver the message they need.

Keep these in mind for your next presentation. It will help you stay on track and help the audience know exactly what to expect.

Time passes so fast. It seems like only yesterday I was in high school…or going to college…or meeting Marixa for the first time…or getting married…you get the picture. The years have flown by. It is most noticeable with my boy.

After going through cancer when I was 26, we were uncertain if we would be able to have children. So, when we found out Marixa was pregnant we were over the moon. We were excited and convinced that we would be having a little girl. I remember the Christmas of 2007 very well. Marixa got me a onesie that said “Daddy’s Little Girl”. When the sonogram told us we were wrong, we didn’t know what to think. It did t take long to figure out that this boy was exactly what we needed. Still is!

Tonight I ran across some sound recordings of him when he was a little guy. I played one for him and Marixa. He was a couple of years old in the recording. He was reciting his alphabet. We all got a good chuckle, and a stab of memories. I remember that little guy so well. I remember when I would get home and he would run and jump up in my arms. He was such a sweet boy. He still is today. He is just a whole lot taller.

It is amazing how much of his personality was locked in back then. It was glimpses of who he is becoming today. He was just as full of life and awesome then as he is now. I am so incredibly thankful for this boy.

What point am I trying to make with all of this? I am proud of my son. I hope you are proud of yours too. Enjoy every minute that you get. They pass so fast.

This one stood out to me when I read it this evening. I always hope the week will go smooth. Maybe I should hope the week is productive…smooth or not.

Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well. – Theodore Roosevelt

Let’s do this.

I wrote the other day about the butterfly effect. To me it is one of the most amazing thought exercises to trace back to certain points in life to see how you got where you are. How would things be different if not for that one event? do you have moments like that?

The truth is we all have several of these moments in our lives. We may not call them out for what they are. Or, we may place too much importance on them. Let me give an example.

Years ago I was in a job I hated. The work was fine, but not challenging. The environment was toxic. There was little chance of advancement. Actually, there was no chance of advancement. I would have called it comfortable misery, but it wasn’t even comfortable.

One day a friend called me and asked for my resume. He knew of a job and wanted to pass my resume to the hiring manager. So, I polished it up and sent it on. Before I knew it I was in an interview. Not long after that I got a call that changed the course of my career. The hiring manager asked me, “Would you still like to come work for us?” I wanted to shout YES! at the top of my lungs. However, I composed myself and told her, “That would be wonderful.” Two weeks later, my misery was done.

I remember clearly on my 5 year anniversary with the company I sent an email to the friend who helped get my resume to the right person. I told him thank you. His response? “Dude, I handed a piece of paper to someone 5 years ago. You thanked me then. Everything else that has happened is because of you. I’m good.”

At the time he told me that I thought he was just being modest. I now see he was hitting me with some solid truth. Yes, his action gave me the opportunity to walk down a new path. Without the phone call to ask for my resume, I wouldn’t be where I am today. But, I wouldn’t be where I am without a lot of good choices and hard work on my part too.

I have been in this career field for 13 years now. I have gotten a masters degree related to what I do. I have worked very hard to improve my skills. I left that company and now work in a different state doing even more than I did before. I wake up most every day excited to go do what I get to do.

So, what does this have to do with the butterfly effect? My friend’s actions was the initial beat of the butterfly’s wings. I added good choices and hard work to that. Others have helped me along the way. I have taken advantage of opportunities. Now, I am miles away from where I was because of a small action that turned into something huge.

What has happened in your life that is similar to this?