I’m watching the sunrise right now. This may be my favorite time of day. Although I hate waking up early, seeing the sun peek up over the horizon never gets old. It’s beautiful and amazing and so much more.

With the start of every day, it feels like the slate is clean. We have a chance to start over and do things better than we did the day before. It doesn’t always feel true, but many days it actually is.

I also enjoy the quiet that daybreak brings. At the moment, I am driving down the road recording my thoughts to capture them for this post later. The road is quiet and not many people are out. It feels like there’s more space to breathe and think and pray and to be. I’m thankful for this.

If the slate is truly clean with the start of the morning, I need that space to shape what the day will be like. I need to carefully consider the things I will do and the good that needs to be done. I crave the thoughtful life. I need to do things on purpose.

If we’re not careful and don’t put intentions behind our actions life can get away from us. We will spend our days floating along and not making the impact we were designed to make. I don’t want that to be me. God has put me here for a reason and I want to fulfill that.

How about you? What is the reason you’re here? Are you fulfilling that purpose? I pray the answer is yes. I pray that you have fulfillment and the peace of knowing that God’s purpose for your life is being realized. I pray the same thing for myself.

I am so thankful to God for each sunrise. I will use each one to do the good He has for me.

He stood at the corner. The sign he held in his hands spoke volumes. Times were tough and money hard to come by. He hadn’t bathed in a week. Lord only knows where he had slept the evening before, if he had slept at all. Didn’t he have a home he could go to? What brought him to this corner? Where did he get the marker and the cardboard for his sign?

His tired shoulders slumped as the cars passed him by. The hunger pains racked his body, but not as bad as the despair did. Times had not always been like these. There had  been another day, years before. Before the women. Before the booze. Before the needles. Before despair.

He lifted his face. The streetlight changed to red once again. Slowly he panned the cars for generosity. A window rolled down and he walked to the  person seated in the car. Two dollars. That was better than most people did. He muttered a thank you as the car drove away.

The streets were wet from the rain of the day. His clothes were sticking to his body, but at least it was cooler than the normal heat of an August day. How had he sunk this far?

He had been comfortable once. He had lived in luxury. His father had a strict set of rules that he chose not to abide by though, and in anger, one day, he demanded his share of the inheritance and left. Never to look back. Never to be constricted by those rules again.

The thoughts of years passed flashed through his mind often as he watched the cars go by. Arrogant people passed by every minute. But he knew well that very few had been as arrogant as he. Thousands of dollars he had, all of it he squandered. In a short amount of time he had nothing.

Too ashamed to go home, he stayed where he was and tried to work to make his way. Habits die hard. Expensive habits die painfully. His life was now broken and, he thought, wasted.

There had to be a better life than this. The life of one of the workers in his father’s employ was so much better than what he was now doing. Even if he couldn’t return as a son, he would ask his father for a job. It had to be better than his life now.

So, he picked up his backpack containing everything he owned in the world. It was many miles back to his father’s house, but the journey was underway. It would take several days to make it back, but it had to be better. It just had to.

His legs were tired. His feet sore. He climbed the hill in front of him. His father’s house was down on the other side. It wasn’t much further. As he reached the top of the hill he paused for a moment to catch his breath. He looked down on the valley where he grew up. It was familiar, but he knew it would never be as it was. Never again would he take it all for granted, even though none of it was his.

He started walking down the hill. To his amazement, he saw a man running toward him. The man was older and well dressed. Why was he running? Who was this? It was…his father. His father was running to him. Immediately he felt fear, but that was soon gone as he realized his father was smiling…and crying.

With a swift embrace, the father took the son in his arms and pulled him close. The son’s clothes did not stop him. The smell of the man did not stop the father. The father’s son was home and he rejoiced and cried as he held him.

“Father, please forgive me for my stupidity. I have come back to ask you for a job. I don’t deserve to be your son, but I will gladly spend my life working for you to repay the cost I have been to you.”

“Son, I have waited for you. Every day since you have been gone I have searched this road for you. I believed in my heart you would return. Now you have. You are my son and you will always be my son. I love you. Nothing has ever changed that. You may work with me as we live our lives as family. Come, we must celebrate for you have come home.”

Someone told me this week that she loved change. She figured it was going to happen anyway, so it is best to embrace it and, if you can, enjoy the ride. For a lot of things in life, I really can see her point. The only constant is change. Most of them can be rolled with.

This conversation made me think about the changes I am making in my life. I am on day 5 of my 100 Strong journey. I have been able to stick to my stated objectives. This has been a change for me. Not a huge one, but a change all the same. Though I haven’t seen results yet, I am committed to keep going. I want to get to the enjoyable part of these changes, not just the eat less food parts.

In my self examination I realize that I have not had concrete goals in my life since I recovered from cancer. It has been easy to not be specific with what I have wanted to do and I have been able to drift for a few years now. It is only recently that I have realized how much damage that could do to me. When we drift we are out of control. We don’t exert the agency we have in our lives. That could lead to bad places.

The moment I wrote down the 7 things I wanted to accomplish, it was very easy to accomplish what I set out to do. There really is power in writing it all down and seeing it in front of your face. I know clearly every day if I am doing what I set out to do. Whether the scale moves or not, I have the accomplished feeling of knowing that I am no longer drifting and am exerting the decision making power I have over my actions.

I had this conversation with my son not long ago about being in control. We can’t control all the things that happen in life, but we can control how we respond. It is my hope through these next hundred days that I can point to the good things I am accomplishing to show him a very clear picture of what good choices and controlling your emotions does. I need to be this example for him.

Change isn’t fun, but maybe it can be. I am willing to enjoy the ride and the changes as they come. It is my choice, so that is what I will do.

I looked in the mirror today and what did I see? An older face than I expected. He still looks like me, just a little bit grayer than he expected to be. Maybe a little wiser too.

It really doesn’t bother me. Someone asked me the other day if I would go back to a younger age to do it all over again….my answer? Absolutely not. No way. No thank you. I will stay when and where I am . I’m good.

I say this for two reasons: 

1. If I had made any changes on the road to getting here, things would be very different. I am thankful for the life God has given me. I love my family and friends.  I enjoy my work. I am even getting better at taking care of myself. Sure, I could be further down the road, but I wouldn’t want to take that chance. 

2. God has brought me here for a purpose. I don’t always know what that purpose is, but I know I have the opportunity to be a good example because of the road that I have walked. It is the ups and downs that can be used to love and encourage others. I think that is very powerful. Also, I have no idea what impact I have had on the world, but everything we do can be impactful. I wouldn’t want to change that.

I heard a story once of a man who was teaching his son about how our choices ripple out and touch other people. He threw a stone in a peaceful pond. He had his son watch the ripples. He then told his son, “The stone is your actions. The ripples are its effects. We must make good choices to cause good effects.” The man was right. Those ripples carry out much further than we expect. 

What stone are you throwing in the water today?

Have you ever seen the movie Stardust? It stars Charlie Cox as a young man named Tristan who is desperate to win the affection of a girl. To accomplish this, he sets off on a quest to bring her back dust from a fallen star. It is a story full of adventure and intrigue. He meets strange and interesting people, and eventually he finds himself and his actual true love. I really enjoyed the movie.

In the story he meets a character named Captain Shakespeare, played by Robert Deniro. Shakespeare is the captain of an air ship. He has a fearsome reputation, but in truth is a gentle man who is nothing like his persona. Though he shows kindness to Tristan, he does not want his kindness to be known. A reputation, he says, takes a lifetime to build, but only moments to destroy.

I was reminded of this today. I was working and spoke my mind about something. What I said was somewhat harsh, and could have been misconstrued. Fortunately, I was understood for my intent and my colleague did not take offense to what was said. Had I been in different company, would the outcome have been the same?

A verse from the New Testament came to mind. In the book of James, the author describes how our tongue (our words) can do great damage. It says…In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5 NLT

We do this sometimes without meaning to. We say things out of frustration or anger, and we may not be able to take back what we said. We say things out of ignorance and that is exactly how we look. Sometimes, not saying what your are thinking may be the best tactic.

I feel grateful that what I said was not poorly received. I will, however, work on my messaging. I do not like setting fires where one is not needed.