I never thought I would find so much joy in reading to a little boy. But, I have. It is awesome. Every night is the same. He is two years old and he asks for socks in socks. Translated: Fox in Socks by Dr. Suess.

It really gives me perspective on what is important in life. I could be upset, preoccupied, frustrated, etc….when my boy asks for Fox in Socks it all goes away…

I have actually gotten pretty good at it. (For those of you who don’t know it is a book of tounge twisters.) But, that is not the important part. He snuggles in close to me. He wraps my arm over him as he gets ready. Then he listens to the whole thing. Over fourty pages. He loves it. But, I think I get more out of it than he does. He gets to listen. I get him.

I know that these times are short. One day I will wake up and he will be sixteen asking for the car keys. For now, he is two years old. I read nonsence to him because he loves it. And somehow I feel complete…in a way that I never have. I never knew being a dad would be so cool. It is. And I am so thankful for it.

I sat in a seminar about social media the other day. I consider myself fairly well versed in the topic, but it was nice to hear about many of the different forms out there and how they are used. I also learned about a couple I had never visited. 

There is one thing that was mentioned that has stuck with me. The same social problems that have been around for years exist within the world of social media, and those problems can be magnified because of it.

The presenter told us that there have been studies done linking Facebook with the rising divorce rate. After attending the seminar I came home to see if I could find any articles that spoke on the subject. One writer estimated that within five years Facebook would be one of the largest outlets for infidelity that man has ever known. Who knows if that is true, but think of the implications. 

As social networking grows, our ability to connect with people we haven’t seen in years increases. What about that boyfriend/girlfriend from high school? Or that summertime relationship from camp? Or the one you met your senior year spring break in Cancun? Fifteen years ago those connections would have been long lost. Now it is as easy as point and click. It is very easy to reconnect. And sometimes very dangerous.

I am an advocate for marriage. It drives me nuts when I hear people talking about how marriage isn’t what it used to be. I say that it is not marriage that has gone wrong. It is that person’s marriage. Marriage is comprised of two people who have vowed to walk with each other through all of life, the good and the bad. It is two individuals who have chosen to be one. Problems arise when one of the individuals (or both) start making choices that damage the union. It is not marriage that has gone wrong, but the individual that has chosen poorly. 

When someone chooses to get online and reconnect with old love interests it can create tension and excitement. You were really into them at one point in time and you find that there is still electricity there. It is exciting, but oh so dangerous. If you are married, this is very thin ice to tread on. Why have you contacted them? What is to be gained by reconnecting? If you are just saying hello after many years (and your spouse is fully aware of the contact) I see no issue with it. However, if you start having deep conversations behind your spouses back it can lead to emotional infidelity, which can lead to full blown affairs.

I was discussing all of this the other night over dinner with friends. We all are very committed to our marriages and can see how social networking can facilitate inappropriate relationships. In the discussion I made a comment that seemed to fit. The grass is not only greenest on the side where you water, it is greenest on the side where there are difficulties. When we work through hard times together it fertilizes our relationships. We have the chance to grow together through the good times and bad. It isn’t easy, but it is worth it.

I love my wife with all that I am. I want my actions and words to reflect that. If that means that there are people I have to deny Facebook requests from then so be it. We have been married 11 years now and it has been the most rewarding time of my life. We have grown up a lot. She has helped shape me into a man that I am proud to be. I know I have been a positive influence on her as well. We have worked hard to be where we are. I would not for one moment want to throw it away for someone that I either dumped or got dumped by, or for anyone else for that matter.

Social problems are the same as they have always been. Social media has helped magnify them. If there are problems in your relationship, I doubt they will be fixed online talking to an ex.

Have you encountered this? Have you had Facebook requests from old flames? How have you responded?

I ride a motorcycle. Every chance I get. I enjoy the wind blowing all around me. The feel of the highway. The smell of the air. It is one of my favorite things to do.

I am extremely aware when I am on the motorcycle. I know that if I don’t pay attention, I don’t have anything around me to protect me (seatbelt, airbag, etc). For this reason I watch and I respond.

I was driving down I 44 the other day and was 8 feet behind and to the right of the car in front of me. I was gaining on them. Without warning (or a blinker) the cut over into my lane and sped up. I suppose they remembered they had to be somewhere and quit Sunday driving. Or they had their head in the clouds. I don’t know. I got upset in a hurry.

I got into their lane and shot forward. I pulled up beside and looked in their window. I wanted them to realize that they just did a dangerous (and inconsiderate) thing. Had I not hit the break when they cut in front of me I would have run into them. I didn’t yell at the person. I didn’t swear at the person. I did express my displeasure. Feeling like I made my point, I rode off.

I am responsible for me. In whatever situation. I am responsible for me. I have to make good decisions. There are times that other peoples lives can be affected by those decisions. If I don’t pay attention when I drive, a wife and son could lose a husband and father. That isn’t going to happen on my watch.

I know that things happen that are out of my control, but God willing, if I watch what I am doing, I will make it home…and so will they guy in the red Toyota Corolla.

I read a great post tonight on my wife’s blog entitled “Why I blog.” My wife, Marixa, is very passionate about living on purpose. She has a great passion for family and babies and birth. I love her perspective. I love her passion for living. I love her. Very much.

She said something that stuck with me. The following is an excerpt from her post (you can read the full post on her site):

That’s what I want this blog to be about. I want to challenge your thinking on subjects. I want you to think about your view or opinion on a subject and make sure you have thoroughly thought it through. Changing your mind is not my goal. It’s showing you a different perspective or new info so you can be sure of your stance on the subject.

This is one of the reasons I blog as well. I want to wrestle through tough subjects and hopefully have anyone who reads join me in the conversation. That is what blogging is: adding your voice to the conversation that is already going on. We take the time to write out and explain a subject from our viewpoint. Those who read can take that information and do with it what they will. Hopefully the reader is enlightened in some way. I know I am enlightened every time I post because I have had to wrestle through my thoughts on a subject and deliver them in a format that makes sense.

Seth Godin and Tom Peters have a great video on YouTube about why they choose to blog:

Why do I blog? It lets me join in conversations that are important to me. It makes me think through what I believe and what I want to say. It gives me an avenue to impact people with my words, and I am grateful that through the process of blogging I am impacted as well.

I have been a goal setter for years. Ok. Wait. I have been a wish setter. I call them goals, but most of the time I write down things I would like to do/have and then I close the book I have written them and I go on about my life. Then, months later, I find the book I wrote them in and think badly of myself because I haven’t accomplished any of my goals. The truth is I did some wishing on paper, but not much more.

Thankfully this is/has changed. Over the last couple of years I have accomplished a few goals. I have kept them in front of me. I have worked on them progressively. I have seen them accomplished. For instance, at one point in my life I weighed in the mid 260’s (my heaviest was 281). I decided early last year that I was going to make a change. I made it down to 220. Goal set. Goal achieved, mostly. I am up about 20 pounds now, but I am also in much better shape and still happy with the way I look and feel.

I recently read Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. It is an awesome read about the adventure of pursing a relationship with God. On his website he has a 8 page goal setting acticle that really brought goal setting into perspective for me. Goal setting is about looking far into the future and laying out a path for yourself that will get you to the future you have envisioned. Just like a master chess player you think about what you want the board to look like 20 moves ahead. In this way all of the goals that you set form a path. The path leads you to the person that you want to be.

I turned a year older yesterday. I have thought much about where I have been and where I want to go. I have thought much about the path that is in front of me, wondering if it will lead me anywhere good. And I remember, God knows the plans that he has for me. They are plans to prosper me and not harm me. He wants to to give me hope and a future. I trust that.

So, I prayerfully set my goals. There are many things that I have written down that I want to accomplish. They are in front of me. They are a map. They are not set in stone and can change, but that is the fun of the journey. I choose to chase them with all I am. I am excited to see where I end up.

How about you? Do you set goals? Do you have a list yet to be accomplished? Care to join me in the chase?