Apartment 380 wasn’t so bad.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

When Marixa and I first got married we lived in an 800 square foot apartment on the north side of Oklahoma City. It was one bedroom and one bath, and fit us perfectly after we said I do. It was filled with a bunch of hand-me-down furniture, including a recliner sofa that had the support beams exposed and an assortmnet of furniture made out of ammo crates. (Yes. Real ammunition crates. Our end tables, microwave stand, bookshelves, and a few other things were expertly crafted from old ammunition crates.)

When we moved in we had very few cares in the world. I had a part time job as did she. I went to school full time. There was a lot of time to hang out together, watch movies, play games, and enjoy life. We had a good thing going. Then, about 8 months in, we started to experience the craving for more. A bigger apartment sounded nice. Soon after that a newer car was a serious want. After that we needed to get out of apartments and into a house. We rented for a while and then we just had to buy. And so on.

Looking back, I miss apartment 380. We had very few debts. Very little worry. Life moved at a slower pace. It is a shame that we didn’t realize it at the time. We had a very good thing at the beginning of our marriage. It was a sacred time. One I would encourage more young couples to take advantage of.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my life. There are responsibilities and things to take care of, but I do love it. We are building a life in our home with our family. (We have been in this house for almost 5 years…that is some kind of record!). I do look back on 380 with fond memories. Given the chance to start there again, I know there are some choices Marixa and I would have made different along the way, but we wouldn’t be where we are in so many other ways.

Have you noticed this pattern in your life? Have you ever felt the need for bigger and better? I am convinced that there is much more contentment in simplicity. That is what those days were: simple. I loved it. One day we will get back there again…but not 800 square feet. That just wouldn’t work with kiddos and dogs!

 

 

The buck stops here.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I just finished reading the Travelers Gift by Andy Andrews. That is the second of his books that I have read this month. Exceptional stuff. Check it out if you haven’t read it. You won’t be disappointed. In it he tells a story about a character named David who is way down in his life and is taught seven decisions that successful people make on the way to success.

The first of the decisions struck me. It is this: The buck stops here. What does he mean by this? I am responsible for my life. Things are the way they are because of the choices that I have made, the thoughts that I have put into my head, and what I have done with my opportunities. He says the way we are where we are because of the way we think. If we want to be somewhere else we have to change how we think. We are responsible. I am responsible.

This is not a popular message. We live in a world of blame passers. How often do we hear people say, “Its not my fault!”? It is easy to live this way, but it not rewarding.

One line that stuck out to me from this chapter says this: The buck stops here. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions. In the future when I am tempted to ask the question “Why me?” I will immediately counter with the answer: “Why not me?” Challenges are gifts, opportunities to learn.

This book struck a chord in me. The buck stops here. I choose not to be a victim. I choose not to let circumstance dictate my life. I choose to take responsibility for myself, my actions, my thoughts, etc. The buck stops here.

The paragraph goes on to say: Problems are the common thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity, I will not have a problem to deal with; I will have a choice to make… I accept responsibility for my past. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions. I am responsible for my success. …The buck stops here.

What do you think about these words? Where do you stand on this matter?

What we think about.

~ David Willis ~ 3 Comments

It occurred to me some time ago that I needed to be putting better things into my head if I wanted better things to come out of it. For months all I would listen to was the same music over and over, the same audiobooks over and over, and watch the same movies over and over. I wondered why my thinking never really evolved past where it had been. It is obvious looking back.

What you put in really is what you get back out. If you put in good, you get good in return. If you put in crap, you get crap in return. If you put in a random assortment of unconnected crap, you get an unsettled mind that can not find firm ground. But, here is the cool part: If you put in a stream filled with awesome, inspiring, instructive, thought provoking stuff….you fill in the rest of the sentence. It is like a light bulb came on in my head. What I was putting in is what I was getting out.

So, I have been trying to do this very thing. I have stopped listening to standup comedy. (There are some artists that are doing it right, but many are not. Why does it seem like a competition of who can be more vulgar or outlandish? I will save that for some other time…) I have stopped listening to some of the music that I had let slip in. For the most part, I have stopped watching TV. (I reserve the right to hang on to the Biggest Loser and the Food Network). I have made a huge attempt to remove many of the negative influences that have had a free pass into my mind.

The result? For starters my mind has found some peace. For a while I had my iPod in my ears most of the day. I wasn’t giving my brain any downtime. I take periodic times for quiet now. I have chosen some thought provoking listening (the writings of John Eldredge, Andy Andrews, CS Lewis, Mark Batterson, Seth Godin, Dan Miller, Dave Ramsey, and others). I have soaked up much of the information like a sponge. I see some of what I have read coming back through in my daily decisions. Also, I find I don’t have much bad to say about anyone. I am not putting negative into my brain, so I don’t feel the need to let negative come back out of it. There are positive ways to get through the issues.

What do you think about the most? What are you allowing into your mind that is shaping your thoughts? The good news is we can replace the negative thoughts for good ones. It takes work. It takes time to build new patterns. But, in time when we put good things in, we will definitely be getting good things out.

Recycling: A Self Portrait

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

For the last few years we have done our best to recycle the things we use. Loads of cans, bottles, plastics, boxes, etc. don’t go in the trash anymore and make their way to the recycle center every other Saturday. (That is usually the plan. Bad weather and Christmas gave us 5 weeks worth to take not long ago!)

I like that we are being conscious about what we do. It makes sense that little decisions can affect the big picture. That five week span of recycling building up in our garage was a small picture of what builds up all across America in recycling centers. By choosing to reuse instead of throwing away, we make a good choice.

Recycling has another more personal meaning to me though. Recycling is a staggering self portrait. By saving cans, bottles, and other items that you consume throughout the week, you have a picture of who you are and what you value, and maybe even your physical condition. Were the boxes you recycled all frozen pizzas? How much of that plastic held sugar infused items? What exactly would your recycling bin look like?

This hit me in the face not long ago. I have been a soda addict for years. At one point I was drinking an equivilant of 3 liters of Dr. Pepper a day. I was addicted to the caffine and the sugar. So, I switched to Diet Coke. Not really a better choice. My addition to soda continued. There were cans and cans and cans in that recycling bin. I tried to justify it for a while, but it is hard to ignore when you have to take it to the center and sort it. So, I have mostly given it up. Only a couple a week now. Sorted the bin this morning. Only 6 cans for two weeks. Not bad.

Do you recycle? What does your bin look like? It speaks volumes if you let it.

I can’t believe I just did that…

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

After I got home from work this evening I was going to get out and clean my garage. It has been the catch all through the winter and needed a little TLC. So, I invited my wife and son to come hang out in the front yard and I would clean. Marixa suggested that we move both vehicles back in the driveway so they would have the main part of the concrete to play on. And so it would be easier to corral Trey. I moved one vehicle and got into the other to move it and couldn’t find my keys.

I had just driven the vehilce home from work. I knew the keys were somewhere in the vicinity. I had been in the garage, the bedroom, the office, and the back yard since my arrival. I began the search. 15 minutes later I was no further along. Marixa asked me to take a moment and think about what all I had done. I retraced every step in my mind. I then set back off to check everything I had just checked in the 15 minutes previous.

15 minutes later I was still no further along. My plans for cleaning out the garage were starting to look a little shaky. What was I going to do? Marixa asked me once more to retrace my steps. I stood in the middle of the garage and thought and thought. I had retraced all my steps. What could it be? I was impatient and wanted to keep moving and keep looking. Then, her words hit me. Retrace every step. The one place I hadn’t looked was vehilce #1. I had been in it right before trying to move vehicle #2. Sure enough, the keys were sitting right there when I opened the door.

I spent over 30 minutes trying to find my keys. When I didn’t find them immediately, my brain swithed into overdrive and I started to rely on looking instead of thinking. Two lessons learned from this endeavor:

1. Listen to your wife. She told me the keys were probably in plain sight, but I wouldn’t be able to see them because I needed to step back and gain perspective. She was spot on. Wise council generally is though.

2. Little things can really frustrate you if you let them. It was only when I calmed myself and regained a level head that I realized where the keys were. I have the choice to be frustrated or not. I have the choice to be level headed. Should have picked the latter to begin with.

I could have saved myself half an hour if I had only relied on these two things: listening to wise council and choosing to respond to frustration with a level head.