It is the start of another year. Can you believe it? In my home the start of the new year is another opportunity to celebrate. It was 21 years ago this week that I married my best friend. It seems like only yesterday and it also seems like forever ago all at the same time.

In today’s post I would like to share three things that I am thankful for in my bride.

1. She is the best friend I have ever known.

I don’t say this lightly. I am not sure I really knew what friendship was before we met. Yes. I had friends. Good ones even. None like her though. For two decades plus now she has walked with me through highs and lows. She has carried me when I didn’t think I could make it. She has laughed with me and cried with me too. Through every moment of every day she has been an amazing and consistent friend. I am so thankful for her.

2. She is so creative.

Before we got married I was not organized. I had no decorating skills. I lived in a bland apartment that was devoid of life. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Then, like a warm breeze on a bright spring day, she blew into my life and suddenly there was beauty and order all around me. Somehow she has turned every place we ever lived, and some were not so awesome, into cozy places of restoration. I marvel at her creativity. I am sitting next to her now typing as she draws and creates. We are sitting in our dining room. It is cozy and beautiful as is the house she has made our home. Her creativity is on full display and I love ever minute of it.

3. She is one of the smartest people I know.

She is always learning. She is always reading. She is always pushing her mind to grow. I love this about her. She will tell you herself that school was never her favorite, though she did just fine. It was boring as they didn’t teach things that were interesting or in a way to make them interesting. Just because she didn’t enjoy it says nothing about her mind. I love deep conversation with my best friend. She pushes me. She teaches me…especially in history. (She loves it!) I love this about her.

Not a day goes by that I don’t swell with thankfulness that I get to spend my life with this amazing woman. She is my best friend and I love her so much.

Have you ever found that you don’t enjoy something as much as you once did? It is not that the activity has changed, you have. The things that mattered the most at one point in time are now trivial things that only come up now and again. Seasons change and so do people. Should we fight change? Or roll with it?

A wise man once said, “For everything there is a season.” I am finding this true in my own life more and more. The more the seasons change, the more I find myself different than I once was. This isn’ a bad thing. I am not the same man I was 20 years ago. As far as I can tell it is for the better.

At one point in time I considered it madness to get up before 8 am unless I had to. Sleeping till 10 was even better than that. Now, my alarm is set for 5:05 am every day (I would set it for 5, but for some reason that extra five minutes makes me feel like I am getting away with something…). I used to enjoy laying around and loafing my days away. Now I have to be doing something productive…or mostly productive.

It is more than just these things though. With every stage of life I find myself at a place of possible reinvention. From time to time I have to examine things. Sometimes, change is the only option. Without change, I wouldn’t have the freedom to discover the things that my heart and soul are searching for. I don’t have to be a fixed object. The seasons change and I can too.

Obviously there are some constants in my life that anchor me: my faith, my bride, my boy, my family and friends. That is not what I am talking about. I am advocating for change in areas where I have grown stagnant. Is my faith as strong as it needs to be? Maybe I should get more involved in my church. Is my thinking short sighted? Maybe it is time to read more. Do my communication skills need work? It is time to sharpen up my writing and speaking skills. Am I unhealthy? It is time to examine my eating and exercise patterns. Is my career headed the way I want it to? Maybe it is time to learn a new skill.

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting different results. Could it be the seasons have changed and it is time to change with them? I would much rather be my authentic self in the season that I am in. Do you resist change? Are you trying to remain in a season of life that is over? Has your environment changed and you haven’t?

Change is never easy. My thought is this: If it takes you closer to being your authentic self, it is worth the struggle. You never know, you may like the next step of your evolution even more than this one.

I watched Rocky Balboa not long ago. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I had heard good things about it. Usually the 6th installment in a franchise leaves little to be told, but some stories keep coming back with more. I didn’t expect much, but this Rocky movie surprised me. It is a story of an old boxer staring in the mirror and examining all that had gone past. He determines that there was still something inside of him left inside that he needed to get out. I didn’t expect much going in, but felt very satisfied coming out. He didn’t win the fight at the end of the movie, but he won the fight within himself.

Not long after I watched the movie Creed. I had heard good things about it, but like my comments above remained a bit skeptical. This one was amazing. It is the story of a young boxer who has something to prove. He knows he needs a coach. He turns to his deceased father’s friend and former foe, Rocky Balboa. Through the movie we see the growth of Adonis Creed, but also the transition of Rocky Balboa to Creed’s mentor.

I have been watching Rocky movies since I was a young kid. What is not to love? The underdog fighter goes in and does the impossible. I have wanted that to be my story in a lot of ways. A man no one has heard of fights his way up to come from obscurity into the light. Rocky was a nobody at the beginning of the first movie, but he had heart. He knew what he wanted to do, even if it didn’t look like he would be able to do it. He stuck with it. He had help along the way. He had a mentor, Mickey, that saw something in him and pushed him. It is similar story with Adonis Creed. He has a famous name, but wants to be known for himself. He too needs help along the way.

When I was a young man I identified with the fighters in these stories. They had a goal in front of them. They had a foe they needed to defeat. This is how I have looked at goals. What’s next? What else can I achieve? Unlike these fighters, I haven’t always been clear if I am fighting in the right fight. Am I chasing the right goals? Am I headed the right way. A bit of introspection tells me that I have done ok. Maybe some things could have gone better, but at 41 I like who I am and the direction I am headed. I have goals and they are becoming much more focused.

Now that I am nearing middle age, as my son so kindly informed me not long ago, I realize that I am not just the fighter in the story. I have to be more. I identified with Rocky/Adonis the fighter, but now I can feel the transition to Mickey/Rocky the mentor. I have experiences that I need to share. I have wisdom that has been beat into my head over several years. I have walked some of the path of life and know them well. I need to share that knowledge with those who are newer at the journey. Where I can I need to help other avoid the pain of some of the lessons I learned. Where that is not possible, I need to help them navigate the pain and interpret it correctly.

Fighter and mentor. I am thankful for this position. I want to make the most of it. I want to keep learning and growing. I want to keep fighting new fights, where they make sense. I also want to pass the knowledge along and help others win.

Like Rocky did in Rocky Balboa, I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize there is stuff inside that I never got out. I would far rather actively pursue it…as a fighter and as a mentor.

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

Verse 1

I’m going 90 miles an hour

the way these days go by

leaves you spinning in circles

sick from the ride

The faster that I go

the more important things I miss

This can’t go on forever

I can’t keep up like this

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

Verse 2

When you look you see a stranger

my face is just a shell

No one else has noticed

but you know me too well

The light that shone inside me

has dwindled to a spark

who knows how long it will be

before it all goes dark

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

Bridge

Can you save me from this ride? Take this fear from me?

Can you bring me anything to curb the insanity?

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

I wrote this several years ago. This one is not about me. I am thankful for that.

Verse 1

Time passes slowly, the seconds turn into days

Missing the time we spent together before you went away

I can still feel your touch and smell your fragrance in the air

The color of your eyes and the softness of your hair

Chorus

I look for you in every crowded room

As I walk down the street under the light of the moon

I search for you all day in every face I see

Longing for the day that you return to me.

Verse 2

My heart still chooses to ignore the fact that you are gone

I refuse to accept it though my friends tell me to move on

When I close my eyes at night you are still with me in my dreams

I can almost feel your touch, lying next to me

Chorus

I look for you in every crowded room

As I walk down the street under the light of the moon

I search for you all day in every face I see

Longing for the day that you return to me.

Bridge

If it takes days, if those days turn into years

No matter the time I will be here

Chorus

I look for you in every crowded room

As I walk down the street under the light of the moon

I search for you all day in every face I see

Longing for the day that you return to me.