Some people are natural storytellers. It is like breathing. They draw you in and you are with them until the very end of the telling. Some people are really good at this. Others are not. But, that shouldn’t stop you from telling a story worth hearing. Especially if it is one that you have lived.

The trick is knowing which details to include and which to omit. If you watch the best storytellers, they don’t bombard you with meaningless or trivial details. Every reference they make, every word of the story is driving to the climax and resolution. There is very little useless filler. Very little rabbit chasing (which I, unfortunately, am prone to from time to time!).

How is this accomplished? Here are a few ways to prepare your story for the telling:

1. List out the important details of the story on paper. (If it is a story worth telling more than once, you might as well write it down and solidify it in your mind.)

2. Keep it fairly short. Take enough time to include all of the important details, but remember that the average attention span is not so….hey look! Theres a squirrel. You get my point. We have all sat in on a person recounting a story that should have lasted 2 minutes and lasted 20. Don’t do that.

3. Even though the story might be about you, invite your listeners in and make it feel like they were a part of it as well. Ask questions about the emotions involved in the story. Engage them in the telling. Make it a group experience and not just a way for you to show off.

While storytelling doesn’t come naturally to some, it is something that can be learned. We all have experiences that are worth the telling. Yes. It is true. You have a story worth telling. With a little bit of practice you can learn to tell it well and people will benefit from it.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and thought, “Wow, it feels like no time has gone by at all”? I had one of these not too long ago. I hadn’t seen them in many years, but we picked back up into conversations that we had long ago. The same types of coversations anyway. They spent time telling me about life and I instinctively knew how to respond. It felt weird. They were just as I remembered. Very little had changed.

I have thought about this a lot. How much different am I now compared to then? Have I really changed all that much? In a word? Yes. I am very different than I was even 5 years ago. I spent a lot of time stuck in ruts over the years. I have learned from many of them. I don’t want to go back to them. I am very different, because I have chosen to be.

What is the old quote? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. The bad thing is this: most of the time we don’t realize we are doing the same thing over and over. When you are stuck in the rut, often times you don’t know you are stuck at all. You just think life is hard, or out to get you, or that it isn’t fair. We may even realize we are in a rut, but we stay on autopilot and keep doing the same things. Years go by and we are still there and don’t know why.

Here are 3 things to think about when facing a rut:

1. How long has it been since you have done something completely new? Do you drive the same way to work everyday? Do you eat the same things every week? Do you have the same conversations over and over? If you answered yes on any of these things, pick one new thing to do this week.

2. What are you putting into your mind? Are you reading and engaging your mind with positive uplifitng material? Or, do you veg out in front of the TV every spare minute? What you put in is what comes out.

3. Do you find yourself complaining about the same things over and over? Maybe it is time to ask yourself this question: What really is the problem? Talking about the problem seems so much easier than doing the work of solving the problem, but wouldn’t it be better to address the complaints now before any more time goes by?

What have you done when you have found yourself in a rut? How hard was it to escape?

We had a snow day today. I live in Oklahoma. Snow and Oklahoma and not usually friends. They have been making up for lost time over the last day. There is a 4 foot snow drift on my back porch. My poor dogs can even get into the back yard to do go…you know. (My daschund will hardly step foot out the back door.) It is 8 degrees outside my window right now (it was 72 just 3 days ago…what is up with that?).

It has been a great day. I have a clean office for the first time in a while (thank you Marixa for helping me get this done.) I got to be creatvie in the kitchen this evening. I took my first stab at home made Mac and Cheese. (Still a work in progress.) The best part of the day though was I had to slow down. And I did. I spent the day soaking up being here with Marixa and Trey. That is priceless.

There are not many days that come along where I have to stay home and there is nothing going on. Today was one of those days. I feel plugged into my family. It is a good feeling. One I need to cultivate on more than just snow days.

I hope, wherever you are, you are safe and warm.

How long can you stare at a blank screen and nothing appear? I have asked myself this questions several times and the answer is always the same. I sit down with the full intention of creating (posts, stories, songs, etc) and the void of white space engulfs me..until I put my fingers on the keyboard and start to type. The answer is, the screen only stays blank until I write something. I have to engage the process. It won’t do it by itself.

I have selective memory on this topic unfortunately. I have discovered this principle many times over the years. I once told Marixa that I wasn’t coming to bed until I wrote a new song. It had been six months since I had written anything and I felt that it was time. So, I came to be about an hour later. The song was written. I chose to engage and I got it done. Funny enough, it is still a song I hum to myself from time to time. I wrote it over 8 years ago.

I think the people that consistently produce really good stuff  are masters of this process. They are not more creative than most of us, but they are much better at demanding that the creativity flow out of them and become art or song or whatever else it is they do. Creativity can not be rigid by any means, but we must sit down at our craft and create. That is what the creative does. Day after day after day. Sometimes what we have created really stinks, but that isn’t the point. If we are truly creative, good will come.

There is a great scene from the movie Finding Forrester (one of my favorite movies, Marixa was not so thrilled) where Sean Connery’s character William Forrester is giving instruction to Rob Brown’s character Jamal Wallace. He points to a typewriter and instructs Jamal to write. The scene unfolds like this:

Forrester: Go ahead.

Wallace: Go ahead and what?

Forrester: Write.

Wallace: What are you doing?

Forrester: I’m writing like you will be when you start punching those keys. (Jamal looks uncertain) Is there a problem?

Wallace: No, I’m just thinking.

Forrester: No. No thinking. That comes later.

The old man is a master at his task. He sits himself down in front of the keys and he writes. This is a skill he helps teach Jamal throughout the rest of the movie. This is evidenced by the fact that Jamal’s teacher see such a rapid improvement in his work they question if it his own.

In my pursuit of the life I am meant to live I have to acknowledge that being creative is how God has wired me. Knowing this, it is my privilege to sit down to it. Whether it is through words, music, or food I choose to use my creativity. My job is to sit down and do it. No excuses. If only one person benefits, it was worth the time.

Anybody who has been around me for any amount of time know this about me: I am passionate about my marriage. I am married to a wonderful woman. She is beautiful and smart, funny and sexy, thoughtful and witty, and the best friend I have ever had. These things make it  easy to be passionate about my marriage to her. But, truth be told though, I would be passionate about my marriage even if she wasn’t some of those things.

I have a bold statement to make. One that I know many people will not believe. Marriage is not broken. People are. Marriage works. What do I mean by this? Simply that. It works. It is one of the most awesome experiences of my life and it works just fine, if we work on it. If we submit ourselves to the process, marriage most certainly works. You don’t always get your way. You compromise. You find solutions that work for both of you. And you learn that all of that is a very good thing.

I married my best friend 12 years ago this month. We have been through a lot of life in those 12 years and we are happier today than we have ever been. Taking a brief glance back it might be hard to see how. There have been deaths in the family. Both of her grandmas, her dad, her mom, and me have all been through bouts with cancer. (Her parents and I are out on the other side cancer free. We miss both of her grandmas dearly). There have been hard times. We tried to get pregnant with our son for over 5 years. Money has been tight at times. Life has bombarded us from all sides. I wouldn’t choose to do it any other way.

For as much hard times there have been awesome times too. We spent time on our anniversary day (January 9) remembering about our wedding day. We looked at where we were (see above…did I really ever have that much hair?!!) and where we have come. We have walked with each other. We have loved each other. We have enjoyed each other. We have shared our hopes and dreams. We have helped each other make some of those come true. We have much to celebrate.

In marrying one another we made each other a promise that we would walk with each other through the good times and hard times, remaining faithful to each other. We chose each other that day twelve years ago. We have made that choice, and will make that choice, every day forward. I chose to be her husband. She chose to be my wife. No second chances. No do overs. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The sense of wonder hasn’t left me either. With each year that passes I am still amazed and still so very thankful to God that she is the one I get to spend my life with.