After I got home from work this evening I was going to get out and clean my garage. It has been the catch all through the winter and needed a little TLC. So, I invited my wife and son to come hang out in the front yard and I would clean. Marixa suggested that we move both vehicles back in the driveway so they would have the main part of the concrete to play on. And so it would be easier to corral Trey. I moved one vehicle and got into the other to move it and couldn’t find my keys.

I had just driven the vehilce home from work. I knew the keys were somewhere in the vicinity. I had been in the garage, the bedroom, the office, and the back yard since my arrival. I began the search. 15 minutes later I was no further along. Marixa asked me to take a moment and think about what all I had done. I retraced every step in my mind. I then set back off to check everything I had just checked in the 15 minutes previous.

15 minutes later I was still no further along. My plans for cleaning out the garage were starting to look a little shaky. What was I going to do? Marixa asked me once more to retrace my steps. I stood in the middle of the garage and thought and thought. I had retraced all my steps. What could it be? I was impatient and wanted to keep moving and keep looking. Then, her words hit me. Retrace every step. The one place I hadn’t looked was vehilce #1. I had been in it right before trying to move vehicle #2. Sure enough, the keys were sitting right there when I opened the door.

I spent over 30 minutes trying to find my keys. When I didn’t find them immediately, my brain swithed into overdrive and I started to rely on looking instead of thinking. Two lessons learned from this endeavor:

1. Listen to your wife. She told me the keys were probably in plain sight, but I wouldn’t be able to see them because I needed to step back and gain perspective. She was spot on. Wise council generally is though.

2. Little things can really frustrate you if you let them. It was only when I calmed myself and regained a level head that I realized where the keys were. I have the choice to be frustrated or not. I have the choice to be level headed. Should have picked the latter to begin with.

I could have saved myself half an hour if I had only relied on these two things: listening to wise council and choosing to respond to frustration with a level head.

If you have read my blog for any amount of time you know this about me: I love food. I enjoy cooking very much. There are times when you get home after a long day at work though that you just have to jump in the car and go in search of someone else to fix your evening meal. Know what I mean?

Marixa and I enjoy finding new places to eat. I have a soft spot for mom and pop establishments. I want to find our local ones that are doing a good job and support them. Their food is usually better, and sometimes even better for you. Many use fresh local ingredients and don’t have a ton of overhead to worry about for their business so they can keep the food items reasonably priced.

Not to long ago we tried a new hamburger joint right around the corner from our neighborhood. It had been a donut shop previously and I was happy to see something a little less greasy go in in it’s place. We were pleased with the service and the food was good. The owner of the establishment seemed very eager and I hope his business does well. Time will tell if he makes it, but it seems like he wants it to.

On the recommendation of a couple we know from church, we tried an authentic Mexican place in Oklahoma City. I am not sure if they have a heater/AC in the place. We went in just after it had snowed and it was definitely cold in the place. My first impression was not all that positive. But, they brought the food out and I forgot all about it. The tacos and tamales were awesome. The prices were awesome. Have been back to have more good food since. The good far outweighed the bad.

Ok. Two success stories unfortunately pave the way for a FAIL story. We tried a little Mexican restaurant in town this evening. IIt is a small space that will only seat less than 40 comfortably and looked inviting. We went in expecting for it to be good. We had built up anticipation that it was going to be great. Marixa got chicken enchiladas. I had chicken nachos. I was very disappointed. It wasn’t even average. It was awful. The queso was curdled. The chicken had no seasoning. I asked the waitress what kind of cheese the queso was made out of to which she replied, “I don’t know.” She turned and walked away. I am glad we tried the place, but I am disappointed it wasn’t what we expected.

Even though we didn’t enjoy the meal we had tonight, my desire to explore new places is not put out. Every once in a while we are going to find a dud when we are looking for new things that will bring excitement and joy to our lives. One bad experience will not keep me from wanting to experience. This is true with restaurants and with all areas in life. The good is out there. I just have to keep looking.

 

I just finished reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. In the book Donald is sharing the lessons that he learned while turning a different book of his into a screenplay for a movie. He expounds on how the things that make a good character in a story also make a good person in life.

This was my third trip through the book. Each time something different has stuck out to me. This time through this topic from the book hit me: a character doesn’t change unless he goes through hard times and conflict. The character stays one dimensional. When characters stay one dimensional readers don’t stay interested in the story for long.

Think about this in the different stories you have seen. In Braveheart (I don’t know why, but I always seem to gravitate to Braveheart as an example…anyway) Scotland would have never won their freeedom had William Wallace not gone through the pain of losing his wife. Her death at the hands of the English changed the direction of his life.

Or, think of an example from real life. Lance Armstrong would not be the icon we know today had he not gone through testicular cancer. He may have won some races, but his record number of wins at Tour de France would not have the meaning it has now. The disease changed the course of his life. How many people have been helped because of LiveStrong?

Marixa and I had a conversation the other night about this subject. She said this: “Life never does quite work out the way we have planned does it? So, why do we wait for it to? We expect to live a neat and tidy life, but we both know it isn’t going to happen.” I thought about her words for a while. Our lives have been anything but neat and tidy. I have had cancer. We tried for over 5 years to have our son. We have lost people we love. Life has been messy at times.

You know what I am talking about don’t you? Like many others, we have planned to have more children (as many as God will give us) and our dream home and other things that we want. We set time frames for when things are to come to pass. We expect life to adhere to our timeline. We want it to be neat and tidy. We want it to be easy. But, the story wouldn’t be as interesting or memorable if it were.

The advice Donald Miller gives is that you should start to write a better story for yourself. He had found some success, but had become content watching tv, doing little, and just getting by. He was not as happy as he wanted to be and had come to question the meaning of life. As he stated applying the principles of story to his life he realized that his life was boring.  He needed to have conflict in his life that would make him grow. There had to be things he chose to do that were not comfortable so he could begin to really experience living. He hiked the Inca Trail. He biked across America from coast to coast to raise money for a charity, and he started a mentoring project for kids in America. He couldn’t wait for life to come to him. He had to go pursue it.

Marixa and I have found ourselves guilty of this. We have waited for life to come to us. Now, we are in pursuit of life. We are choosing to write a better story with our lives. We don’t have everything figured out, but we don’t have to. A character at the beginning of a story (or other points along the way) doesn’t have everything figured out. They just engage in the story that is taking place. The best characters engage and make the story the best it can be. This is my goal.

How about you? If you were reading the story of your life in a book would it be a page turner? Or a put downer? What can you do this week to begin to tell a better story?

Sometimes it happens in the middle of the night. Other times while driving home from work. The could be music playing. It could be quiet. It hurts and you just have to let it hurt. What you ask? The longing for another child.

My wife and I love being parents to our son. I take nothing away from him. He is God’s gift to us and I am so thankful for him. There are times I look at him and think, “You need a brother (or sister).” He is a sweet boy and will be a great big brother when the time comes along. I can’t wait to see him in that role.

That being said, Marixa and i look forward to also knowing/holding/loving the ones to come. It is an ache like nothing I have ever felt. An emptiness in a part of my heart I didn’t know I had. Life has not gone the way we had planned.

It seems that life doesn’t always follow the timetable we set for it. This is a lesson that I have had over and over these last few years. We were married in 1999. We intended to wait about 4 years and then start having our 2.6 children. Life got in the way. Trey was born 9 and a half years into our marriage. We had hoped that the next one would be along about now. And again, things are not to plan and the ache is there to remind.

I picked up a new CD this week. A group called The Civil Wars put out a fantastic record. There is a song called “To Whom It May Concern” on the album. The video link is posted below. The song is about longing for that perfect someone you haven’t met, romantically. The music and words also fit the ache I have described above. Give the song a listen. It is simply amazing.

I believe that the next little one will be on the way soon. Until then little one, I miss you.

I have been frustrated with myself the last few days. Ok. More like these past few months. I have projects that I want to dive into and I have found myself very distracted. Ok. Fine. It has been an issue with me for a long time. There. Happy? Anyway. There have been things that I have wanted to write, projects that I have wanted to finish, and goals that are important to me, but the pattern has remained. I accomplish some and then I fizzle.

Don’t mistake, I have times of high productivity. I work with deadlines really well. When I know what has to be done and I know the time frame I have, I know how to work. This is part of why I am frustrated. When an expectation is placed on me that is outside myself, I rise to the challenge. A lot of times when I set the expectations I find it easy to get off track.

The Matrix is one of my favorite movies. There is a scene in it where the character Neo is in training. His mentor Morpheus is attempting to free Neo’s mind to see the possibilities and the potential that Neo possesses. As they are in a sparring match Morpheus tells Neo, “Stop trying to hit me and hit me.” He is telling Neo that there is more in him. More than Neo can see. More than Neo can even imagine. Neo just has to believe it.

I think the same is true of all of us creatively. There is so much potential for greatness inside. So much that we have yet to tap into. The hard part is sitting down to it, devoting ourselves to our aims, and working like mad until what we first imagined sits in front of us completed. The morale of the story: Stop trying to do it. Just get it done.

What experience have you had with this? How have you overcome it?