Sometimes it happens in the middle of the night. Other times while driving home from work. The could be music playing. It could be quiet. It hurts and you just have to let it hurt. What you ask? The longing for another child.
My wife and I love being parents to our son. I take nothing away from him. He is God’s gift to us and I am so thankful for him. There are times I look at him and think, “You need a brother (or sister).” He is a sweet boy and will be a great big brother when the time comes along. I can’t wait to see him in that role.
That being said, Marixa and i look forward to also knowing/holding/loving the ones to come. It is an ache like nothing I have ever felt. An emptiness in a part of my heart I didn’t know I had. Life has not gone the way we had planned.
It seems that life doesn’t always follow the timetable we set for it. This is a lesson that I have had over and over these last few years. We were married in 1999. We intended to wait about 4 years and then start having our 2.6 children. Life got in the way. Trey was born 9 and a half years into our marriage. We had hoped that the next one would be along about now. And again, things are not to plan and the ache is there to remind.
I picked up a new CD this week. A group called The Civil Wars put out a fantastic record. There is a song called “To Whom It May Concern” on the album. The video link is posted below. The song is about longing for that perfect someone you haven’t met, romantically. The music and words also fit the ache I have described above. Give the song a listen. It is simply amazing.
I believe that the next little one will be on the way soon. Until then little one, I miss you.