It has been almost 13 years. Marixa and I haven’t spent a day apart since August 1, 1998. Some of you are thinking, holy cow! Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? For some people, it may not work out so well. For us, it has been a very good thing. It hasn’t been easy to maintain at times, but it has been very worth it.
While we were dating I read an article about Paul McCartney and his late wife Linda. I don’t remember the exact number, but the article indicated that in all their years of marriage they had only spent a week or two apart. It struck me. I shared it with Marixa and we made it a goal of our own.
I know that there are many people that would not be able to do this. I do not condemn that. Each relationship is different and you have to decide what is best. (I know of couples that would kill each other if they didn’t get a break from time to time.) Simply put, we got married to spend our lives together. We chose up front to make our marriage the priority. It is and will continue to be.
Here are a few benefits we have discovered from choosing to live life together day after day:
1. We work through problems really well. There is no escape hatch. I don’t leave the house to go blow off steam. (I have never slept on the couch either.) We work through our issues together. There have been times it has kept us up till the wee hours of the morning, but we work through the problems as they come. Because of this, there are very few problems that show up now.
2. We remain faithful. I will never cheat on my wife. I would rather eat a bowl full of broken glass than do that to her and my family. Choosing to be with my wife daily safeguards our marriage against infidelity. What I want is right here at home. There is no reason to wander.
3. We get to enjoy life together. Marixa is my best friend. She is my truest and most loyal friend. She is the one I want to come through for. She is the first one I want to tell things to. She is the one I want to hold me when life is too hard. She is it for me. Life is beautiful. We get to do it together.
4. It is very hard to grow apart when you spend time together daily. How many people have I heard of that got divorced because they just grew apart of the years? A lot. They let other things come before their marriage and it got them.
I know that many people don’t fit into the mold we do. Your relationship with your spouse is different than ours (I do hope it is the best thing in your world!). Your work may not allow for this. There may be other obligations that you have. I get that. If you are taking care of all of that and making your marriage awesome, I applaud you.
My primary point in writing this post is this: we got married because we want to be together. Why choose to be apart any more than is necessary? There are things we haven’t done over the years. Trips we haven’t taken. Things we haven’t seen. We don’t miss them. We got married because we want to spend our lives with each other. I don’t regret my choice. I know she doesn’t either.
There may come a day where our streak comes to an end. If it does, there will be a really good reason. and another streak will quickly begin. For now, I am going to enjoy each day with her and our family. It is the life I want to live. It is not the only way, but it is the best way for us.
What about you? Do you spend lots of time away from your spouse? How do you make it work?