Habits. They can work for you, or they can work against you. Sometimes they’re awesome… Sometimes they really suck.

What habits really are is your mind trying to find a reliable path. Habits are your body’s defense mechanism so that it can conserve energy and go on auto pilot. Once you have done the same thing several times, your mind logs it as an algorithm and stores it away to make it easier to do over and over.

In the beginning of September last year I started on a new journey. I told myself I was going to work out with weights three times a week. Starting out, it was fairly difficult. It was hard getting up early and getting to the gym. It took some time, but it did get easier. i’m happy to say I’ve only missed two workouts since September 1st of 2019.

At the same time, I started an eating program. I’m a bigger guy and I wanted to start losing some weight. This turning 40 thing is very real… And being a cancer survivor also played a part in me wanting to become more fit and healthier. I was doing really good… Until Christmas came along. Dang it.

What I should have realized is Christmas happens at the same time every year. I knew what was coming: desserts and treats and candies and cookies and pie and everything else that the holiday brings. Deep inside I knew I needed to stay to my diet, but I did not.

We are now 2 1/2 months into the new year. While I have restrained myself much more than I did in the month of December, it has still been a challenge to keep it all straight. I have tried to pick back up the eating program exactly as I was doing it before Christmas, but these pesky old habit paths in my brain keep wrecking me. I hadn’t practiced the new one long enough to lock it in.

The good news is my exercise program is still going strong. At one point, I was working out six times a week. I’ve toned that back just a touch, but I have kept it up and I’m pleased. I can and I will get the food under control.

I write this tonight because someone I love is in the hospital due, in large part, to the habits that they have practiced over the years. Those habits have led to the need for surgery and a major course correction. I know he will be the first to tell anyone that when his surgery is done his life will look much different. He no longer has a choice. It has to. I believe in him and I know it will.

There is no better time than now to examine the habits you have in place in your life. It is painful to admit when some of them have lead you to a bad place. Those habits can be changed, as can the future…the time to start is now.

Verse 1

I just realized what I should have known. I can no longer pretend. You were never more than my imaginary friend. You twisted and you whispered the lies you thought that I should hear to pull me closer to you, just to keep me near.

Chorus

I’m better off without you, a better version of myself. A light has come into the darkness and Now I see…A face in the mirror that I haven’t seen for years. The chains are gone now I’m free.

Verse 2

I can see so much clearer with your haze gone from my eyes. They are no longer bloodshot red from a round of your lies. I have stepped out of the darkness into the bright sunlight. Being on my own has felt so right.

Chorus

I’m better off without you, a better version of myself. A light has come into the darkness and Now I see…A face in the mirror that I haven’t seen for years. The chains are gone now I’m free.

Bridge

It’s a brand new day. It’s a brand new day.

Chorus

I’m better off without you, a better version of myself. A light has come into the darkness and Now I see…A face in the mirror that I haven’t seen for years. The chains are gone now I’m free.

I had an interesting conversation today at work. A friend asked me for advice on a situation she was having. I told her I would be glad to offer any feedback that I could.

Let me start by saying this: She is extremely good at her job. Many people know this. In fact, they seek out her help because she’s good at what she does. However, there are some that want her to do their work instead of putting her counsel in the action.

She was frustrated. She wants to be helpful. She does not want to do their jobs for them. I totally understand that. When I asked her whose responsibility it was to perform the work, she knew the right answer. But, she began to apologize that she was frustrated about the situation.

I reminded her of the confidence I have in her work. There have been several times I have had to send project work to her knowing full well that she will complete it with excellence. I also commended her for her desire to be helpful and to do a good job. I did share with her is that she should not apologize for expecting others to do their own work. That is just life.

Where is the line between being helpful and enabling others to be lazy? For me, I want to be helpful to the team. Many times there are things that I can do faster and easier than others because I’ve done the job for longer. I don’t see a problem with this, if it is truly helping the person requesting the assistance and I have a choice to perform the work.

Much of this revolves on the way that you are asked for the help. In the situation I described above, the requestor was trying to pass off work that they didn’t need help with. Not cool.

I love helping people. It part of who I am. Because of this, when I ask for help I always want to show gratitude. It’s just the right way to be.

There are so many things I am thankful for in my life. My wife and son. My parents and brother. My friends. My health. My extended family. The more I think about it, the more there is to be thankful for.

With that being said, have I taken them time lately to express my gratitude? Not as much as I should. To that end, I am starting a new weekly thankfulness post.

For this evening’s post, i will start with this…I am thankful for my brother. He and I have not had the closest relationship over the years and I regret that. However, he is a man I am proud of. I have watched him from afar and can say without a doubt I am proud of him. He has had his ups and downs, but like the man he is, he keeps getting back up. I am proud to be his brother.

Chris, I love you. I am praying for you. I am so thankful for you.

Like most people, I struggle with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of insignificance. Fear of sickness. Fear of snakes. It is irrational. I don’t know why, but fear can paralyze me quick. I can’t talk. I can’t think. I hate when I allow that to happen to me.

For the longest time I thought that fears were just something that I would have to accept. My lot in life. But somewhere deep inside of me there was a voice telling me that I was not supposed to be ruled by fear. I didn’t have to give in to it. Its true. I don’t have to give in to it.

So, there are areas of my life that I have started to turn into the fear. As a cancer survivor this has been exceptionally difficult. I have to face my fear. I have to stare at it and examine it. I am finding it to be nothing more than wind and shadows. I am finding myself empowered…I still stay away from snakes.

What are you afraid of? What imagined things hold you back from what you could be doing? I think that the words fear and alive are opposed in many ways. If we want to be alive, fully alive, we can’t live under fear’s rule. We have to be able to look into the fear, see the truth, and do what needs to be done.

There are times we will all be afraid of something. Consider the source. Some fears keep you safe. Some fears only serve to keep you in chains. Which one are you up against?