Have you ever been in an argument with your significant other? Or with a very close friend? I don’t mean a who ate the last of the ice cream that I wanted to eat argument, I mean an issue that you were having difficulty working out? And in that argument you said things you shouldn’t have and hurt the other person? Well, it has nothing to do with my post, but admitting it is the first step to recovery and I hope I have helped you feel better.

I would bet the moment you said the hurtful thing, you knew it. You knew you had further complicated the issue and hurt the other person. What did you do? How do you overcome those moments that you are hurtful and didn’t mean to be?

Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human, but to forgive is divine.”

Indira Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

I agree with both of these statements, and I would like to take them a step further. To apologize is also divine and brave. There is power in a genuine apology. Don’t you agree? Let me describe three ways that I have seen this power work in my own life.

First: When I am discussing an issue with someone I want to remember that the person is always more important than the issues. My wife and I have been in discussions before that have gotten away from us. In those times I may have said things that I thought were not offensive, but she heard something other than what I thought I said. It takes a few moments, but I realize that I have caused hurt. What do I do in that moment or realization? Stop the conversation and apologize. My wife is worth more to me

than whatever the issue is we are discussing. Her feelings are worth more than my pride. So, I offer a heart felt apology and something that could have been very hurtful is passed over and quickly we return to a meaningful conversation.

Next: By apologizing I keep a grounded view. I am not always right. Far from it. If I am willing to admit that it leads to deeper relationships and more trust. Have you been around people who never admit they are wrong? Are they the coolest people in the room? In a word, no.

There is a scripture that says, Pride goes before a fall. A person who is unwilling to admit they are wrong is operating from a position of pride. I don’t want to be that person.

Third: I am building strength with each apology. Building character is hard work. It is choosing day after day to make good, consistent choices. When I have done wrong, or brought offence the right choice is to offer an apology and to make the situation right. By making this choice, I want people to know when they deal with me that I am a good team mate and friend.

There is power in apology. I encourage you to remember that as you examine your relationships. Is the person more important that the issue? Have you been a victim of your own pride? Have you treated others fairly? I am confident that you will know when it is right to offer an apology, and you will see its power work for the good.

There have been several times in my life where I have to trust that God will take care of things even though I can’t see the solution. I’ve been through cancer twice and many other trials that that seem insurmountable. After all these years and all these trials I’m convinced of this… God is trustworthy. I choose to place my trust in Him regardless of the trial…or virus that may be threatening.

Verse 1

There are time I don’t understand. I fail to see your purpose. I fail to see your plan. I feel like my walk grows so alone. I often wonder where my love for You has gone.

But I know in my heart that you are there. I know that you hear me in my times of prayer

Chorus

God I place my trust in You. You alone are worthy, You and only You. God I place my trust in You. You alone are worthy, You and only You.

Verse 2

I want to walk along with you, to know that I am in Your will. But these times of dark and doubt grow deeper still.

I choose to follow you in every way. I want to serve you until the end of my days

Chorus

God I place my trust in You. You alone are worthy, You and only You. God I place my trust in You. You alone are worthy, You and only You.

Tag

Though I may not understand, I know that I am resting safe in your hand

Chorus

God I place my trust in You. You alone are worthy, You and only You. God I place my trust in You. You alone are worthy, You and only You.

I wrote this for the birth of a sweet baby girl…who turn 13 in a couple of months. She was a precious little girl who has turned into a beautiful young lady. Very proud to be your “uncle” RSK.

Verse 1

We hadn’t even met you, but we knew how it would be the first time that we saw you and held you in our arms.

You were destined to steal all our hearts away with your beauty, your smile, and your charm. We knew your name, but we didn’t understand what you’d do to our hearts as we held you in our hands.

Chorus

Baby Girl. Welcome to our world Baby Girl. We’re so glad you are here now, a gift from the One who made the world. Baby Girl, Baby Girl

Verse 2

Your eyes are like your mama’s, or is it your daddy that I see in those deep sweet eyes staring back at me?

It’s hard to imagine that you tiny one could do so much to our hearts, and you’ve just begun. We know that as we watch you grow our hearts will find joy like we’ve never known.

Chorus

Baby Girl. Welcome to our world Baby Girl. We’re so glad you are here now, a gift from the One who made the world. Baby Girl, Baby Girl

Bridge

It’s my prayer that through your life that you will always see the love we feel for you sweet baby. .

Chorus

Baby Girl. Welcome to our world Baby Girl. We’re so glad you are here now, a gift from the One who made the world. Baby Girl, Baby Girl

Tag

We hadn’t even met you, but we knew how it would be the first time that we saw you and held you in our arms.

I wrote the following when my son was smaller. A lot smaller. It still rings true.

I have to wonder what he is thinking when I walk in the door and he spots me from across the room. He smiles and let out a squeal and rushes over to me. He makes coming home Extra special.

There are times when I look down at him though, and I wonder if he ever feels small. Like he is a little person in a big person’s world. I know he doesn’t feel that way all the time, but when he is tired and when he doesn’t feel good, I am sure he does. For some reason, I think he is ok with it. He knows his mom and dad love him and want to take care of him.

He reaches up his arms and sticks out his lip and lets out a cry, but moments later when I (or his mom) is holding him close everything is ok. The bad is gone and the world is made right again. 

The question I have is this: do we ever outgrow this? I am not sure we do. We all have times where we are going to feel small and we need someone stronger, and more able to lift us up where everything is ok. That is why it is essential to have friends and family around who will walk with you through this life. Just like my son can’t stay up and going all the time, neither can any of the rest of us. This life was not meant to be lived alone. We need each other. When I have had time to be with the ones that uplift me, my problems don’t seem as big anymore. I don’t feel so small.

Do you have people you can go to when you are overwhelmed? Just being with them makes a world of difference doesn’t it?

Habits. They can work for you, or they can work against you. Sometimes they’re awesome… Sometimes they really suck.

What habits really are is your mind trying to find a reliable path. Habits are your body’s defense mechanism so that it can conserve energy and go on auto pilot. Once you have done the same thing several times, your mind logs it as an algorithm and stores it away to make it easier to do over and over.

In the beginning of September last year I started on a new journey. I told myself I was going to work out with weights three times a week. Starting out, it was fairly difficult. It was hard getting up early and getting to the gym. It took some time, but it did get easier. i’m happy to say I’ve only missed two workouts since September 1st of 2019.

At the same time, I started an eating program. I’m a bigger guy and I wanted to start losing some weight. This turning 40 thing is very real… And being a cancer survivor also played a part in me wanting to become more fit and healthier. I was doing really good… Until Christmas came along. Dang it.

What I should have realized is Christmas happens at the same time every year. I knew what was coming: desserts and treats and candies and cookies and pie and everything else that the holiday brings. Deep inside I knew I needed to stay to my diet, but I did not.

We are now 2 1/2 months into the new year. While I have restrained myself much more than I did in the month of December, it has still been a challenge to keep it all straight. I have tried to pick back up the eating program exactly as I was doing it before Christmas, but these pesky old habit paths in my brain keep wrecking me. I hadn’t practiced the new one long enough to lock it in.

The good news is my exercise program is still going strong. At one point, I was working out six times a week. I’ve toned that back just a touch, but I have kept it up and I’m pleased. I can and I will get the food under control.

I write this tonight because someone I love is in the hospital due, in large part, to the habits that they have practiced over the years. Those habits have led to the need for surgery and a major course correction. I know he will be the first to tell anyone that when his surgery is done his life will look much different. He no longer has a choice. It has to. I believe in him and I know it will.

There is no better time than now to examine the habits you have in place in your life. It is painful to admit when some of them have lead you to a bad place. Those habits can be changed, as can the future…the time to start is now.