Anticipation. That with a few butterflies in my stomach. That is exactly how I felt when I pulled the door open. Would she be there? Would she be as excited to see me as I was to see her? As I entered the room, I saw her across the way. She looked up and beamed a beautiful smile.

It took a moment to register that someone else was looking at me. We had not seen each other in a few months and she did not look happy. With the decision made in an instant, I knew I was going to deepen that feeling for her. We hadn’t dated for months, but it was time to make that distinction clear. I asked her to join me in the next room.

“I know you are surprised to see me. I need to tell you something. There is no future for us. We both know that. I am sorry for where I have hurt you.” With that I turned around and went back through door number one and sat down next to that lovely smile.

This scene happen over 24 years ago. I had just come back from a trip to Utah to Oklahoma. I hadn’t been to church in weeks and I had a feeling I needed to be there. I did not know that they would both be there. On one side was my future. On the other was a past that had run out of road. Seeing them both there was surreal.

The woman with the beautiful smile and I have been married for almost 24 years. I later learned that my past found a new future and she was very happy in it. For that I am glad. She was a good friend. We were just not right for each other.

Why do I tell you all of this? My future changed in a moment. My wife and I started dating in the few days after. We were married 6 months later. It only took a moment. I just had to seize it when it presented itself.

If you have been waiting for a change or if you know the past has to be in the past to get to your future, your moment may be close. Keep your eyes open. Step into it when you know it is right.

I have had a rough past regarding food. There have been times in my life where there wasn’t much. The have been times in my life where there has been plenty. During the plentiful times I think my unspoken desire has been to make up for lost time and/or calories. Not a great way to be.

That may be why I have been known to eat a large pizza, by myself, in one sitting. I always rationalized that it was thin crust and much less filling, which I still believe to be true. However, thin crust or not, one does not need to eat 2000 calories in one sitting. (I just looked up the info and based this off a Dominos large pizza topped with Pepperoni.) I am not proud to say I have done this many times in my past.

For this reason, my 100 Days Strong journey has been amazing. I have a target calorie goal of 2600. When not eating a large pizza, I am able to fit a plethora of foods inside that count. This includes cookies I get from the cafeteria at work, 250 calories for chocolate chips and M&Ms. I am also able to drink an occasional glass of wine, 280 calories for 12 ounces. When you don’t blow all of your calories in one meal, it is surprising what else you can fit in.

This calorie goal is accompanied by a goal to eat certain percentages of carbs, fats, and protein. God made all three of them, and our bodies need them. It just helps to balance them out.

The result of this? So far I have lost 16 pounds in 40 days. I feel like I am finally getting over my fear of not having enough food and giving myself the freedom to eat what I want…as long as it fits in the numbers.

I am on my way to 100 Days Strong. I can’t wait to get there and see who is staring back at me from the mirror. He will definitely be smaller. He will be more fit. He may even have conquered some very old hang ups about one of his favorite things. I like that.

I made a discovery. More of a rediscovery, actually. I really enjoy performing. It is something I used to do a lot…more than 20 years ago. Last year I auditioned for my church’s Christmas musical. It was awesome. So, I auditioned for the next thing. And then then next thing. Here I am a year later still having a blast.

I forgot how much I enjoy singing. I sang in the choir in high school and in college. I sang in churches after college. Choirs and solos, I did a lot of both. Musicals, on the other hand, I had only been in one. Well, two if you count the weird opera I was in (understudied the evil king) as a sophomore in college.

I have also discovered I love acting. I have been acting like a crazy guy for years, but actually performing a role on stage has been an unexpected treat. Getting to see the world through someone else’s eyes and bring what you see to life. So good.

The part I haven’t enjoyed? Dancing. I was semi coordinated 20 years ago. Ok. Fine. 25 years ago. (I took modern dance in college…I sucked at it, but I took it!) Now? Not so much. It take a ton of repetition to get the moves into my head and out through my body. It is satisfying when I FINALLY get it right, but it takes a fair amount to get there.

All in all, I have found a hobby that I enjoy. Sining and acting come easier than dancing, but I will do all of it with a smile on my face. It is fun again.

I remember the first time. I had just graduated from college. My wife and I headed down to New Orleans. There it was. We could see it from a long way out. As we pulled up to the port we were awestruck. The cruise ship was one of the biggest things I had ever seen.

I remember the walk up to the ship. It was like going up levels in a massive hotel. Everyone was friendly and ready to make money off of me. We weren’t onboard for more than a few minutes when a waiter had already brought us drinks. I had never experienced anything like it.

We were both 23 on that trip and had never been too far away from Oklahoma. That changed after a choppy ride down the Mississippi River and into the Gulf of Mexico. We work up the next morning and I looked out the window. There was only water as far as my eyes could see. It was the freakiest and coolest thing all at the same time.

We ended up in Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel on that trip. It was amazing and definitely got us hooked. It was the most awesome sense of freedom being out on the water.

My favorite spot on the ship was in the very front as late in the evening as I could get there. It was usually quiet by that time and I could feel the ocean air in my face and see all the stars up above.

That is what cruise ships have come to mean to me. Freedom.

It is day 38. Yes! I made it. Ok, celebration is over. Back to work.

The good news is, I am seeing positive changes in this 100 Day Strong journey. I have much more willpower than I thought I did. My waistline is slimming down and the scale is not being as ugly to me. As of this morning, I am down 15 pounds in 38 days! Woot! Woot!

I am keeping the post short and sweet today. I have a goal. I will make it 100 Days Strong on my seven part plan. I know there will be trying times, but 38 days in and I am still here.

Ok. I am still celebrating. No, really…back to work!

#100DaysStrong