Success or failure in business is caused more by mental attitude even than by mental capacity.” Banish the fear-attitude; acquire the confident attitude. And remember that the only way to acquire it is—to acquire it . — The Art Of Public Speaking: By Dale Carnegie

I love public speaking. Yes, I know I am weird, but I love it. I love the process of breaking a topic down in front of a room. I love telling stories. I just find it enjoyable.  

Was I always this way? Sort of. I can’t remember a time when I was afraid to stand up in front of a room. I do remember a time when I was not very good at it. Stage fright was not the problem…saying stupid things was.

How did I get better? I joined a Toastmasters club and spoke every time the opportunity presented itself. I have been in Toastmasters for over 10 years now. I have given hundreds of presentations during that time span. Some were still not great, but they got me to the next presentation. And then the next one.

I identify with the quote above when it comes to public speaking. With other things though? I have only lately become as determined. Yes, I am now going to talk about fitness for a few. How did you guess?

I have spent a lot of years wanting to be in better shape. It wasn’t until I got off my duff and got after it that things started to change. Like the quote above says, I got rid of the wrong attitude and acquired the right attitude. But, it came about through a lot of doing, not because I naturally felt that way.

From a fitness perspective I have a long way to go, but I have come a long way too. From a public speaking perspective I have a long way to go, but have come even further than I have with fitness. Every bit of it is a journey. The things I choose to tackle next will be as well.

If you remember one thing from this post, remember this: we get better by doing. So…do what needs to be done.

Do you ever look in the mirror and see a younger version of yourself?

From time to time I look in the mirror and I still see the me from 1990. A 12 year old kid with a lot of hope for the future, but also a lot of hangups.

Or I see the me from 1999. A 21 year old newlywed with the love of his life by his side and a ton of big dreams…broke, but extremely happy.

Or I see the me from 2002. A 24 year old standing in front of a church performing the ceremony and singing at the wedding of 2 wonderful friends who has since become closer than family (and have since been marrieed over 20 years and have had a beautiful family of their own).

Or I see the me from 2004. A 26 year old who has just been diagnosed with cancer and doesn’t know what the future will hold.

Or I see the me from 2008. A 30 year old holding a baby boy, so mesmerized by life and the love of family.

Or I see the me from 2016. A 38 year old who is burned out and praying for a change only to be let go from one job to move to another state to take a better one.

Or I see the me from 2018. A 40 year old who has been diagnosed with recurrent cancer and who is praying for healing and restoration.

Or I see the me from today. A 44 year old who loves his life, messy though it may be…the love of my life still by my side along with a son who is my pride and joy.

Life has not been easy. Parts have been very messy. Through it all it has been beautiful. I have made good decisions. I have made horrible decisions. I am still here. I get to try again.

I have to remember when I look in the mirror that I can not be a prisoner of the past. Each day brings an opportunity to cherish the ones I love. Each day brings an opportunity to do better and exert the agency I have been given. Each day is another day God has given me to do good.

I had to have the talk with myself today. You know the one? Yep, that one. I made myself workout even though I didn’t really want to. I knew I needed to get it done, so I did. It didn’t matter that I didn’t want to do it.

The good news is I haven’t had to do this often. Most days I want to be at the gym. I crave the feeling of the workout and the high of the post workout. I have made it enough of a habit now that most days it comes naturally. But, there are those days.

We all have them. The “I don’t feel good” or “It won’t hurt to skip just this once” or “Will it even matter?” days. Sometimes, we have to give in. We can’t keep marking things off the list on those days because something legitimate has come up. Those are the exception. The very rare exception.

The only one that suffers if I don’t follow through is me. Or is it? I would argue that the consistency that we show in our choices has far more impact than we realize. I am prone to skip multiple days if I get off my routine. What does that do? It makes me irritable. I set a bad example. I feel constantly behind. It shows up in my attitude. In my work. In my relationships. In short, it matters.

So, I worked out today. I will workout again tomorrow and also do the other things that lead me closer to my goals. It is a must now. I made the agreement with myself. It is time to carry through. I don’t care if I don’t want to.

You know what makes achieving goals harder than it should be? Allergies. Lifting weights while sneezing just ain’t fun…but we do it anyway.

Where ever you are on your goal journey today, keep fighting. Keep moving forward. You can do this.

Every time I open my social media feeds I see posts about motivation. Finding the motivation to do this. Having the motivation to do that. I have heard the word so many times it is easy to forget what it means.

Motivation – noun – the general desire or willingness of someone to do something. (Oxford Dictionary)

I have stared at this definition for a few minutes now. I don’t like what I see. I am going to call it like I see it: Motivation is a liar.

What do I mean? My general desire is to do as little as possible. I am human. I take the path of least resistance. It is what keeps me from achieving things, sure, but it is the truth. My willingness to do things? That is pretty suspect too. I have great intentions, but it is easier to not achieve.

Is that where I choose to stay? No. Of course not. The point is I know myself well enough to know that my desires and my willingness can not stand in the way of what has to be done. My choices and my responsibilities have to be executed on regardless of how I feel.

I can’t sit and wait for motivation to hit me. It is a nice boost of adrenaline when it does, but that soon fizzles out. I have to have more there to go off of. I have to have a plan and the self-discipline of executing that plan so that I can leverage the times of high motivation and still move forward when the motivation is not there.

I want to be remembered as a man of my word. When I say I am going to do something, I want you to be able to take it to the bank. It will be done, because I gave my word that it would. I can say with few exceptions that this is who I am with other people. This is not always who I have been with myself, but that has been changing.

I listened to an interview Kobe Bryant gave about how he was able to accomplish everything that he did. He told the crowd that he had signed a contract with himself. He made the deal willingly and had to execute what he agreed with himself on. That was the reason he was the hardest working man in any room he was in. He made the deal and then made good on it.

This is my reminder to myself for today. Motivation is a liar. There are goals to be achieved. There are tasks to be executed. The deal has been made. It is time to go to work.