How long can you stare at a blank screen and nothing appear? I have asked myself this questions several times and the answer is always the same. I sit down with the full intention of creating (posts, stories, songs, etc) and the void of white space engulfs me..until I put my fingers on the keyboard and start to type. The answer is, the screen only stays blank until I write something. I have to engage the process. It won’t do it by itself.

I have selective memory on this topic unfortunately. I have discovered this principle many times over the years. I once told Marixa that I wasn’t coming to bed until I wrote a new song. It had been six months since I had written anything and I felt that it was time. So, I came to be about an hour later. The song was written. I chose to engage and I got it done. Funny enough, it is still a song I hum to myself from time to time. I wrote it over 8 years ago.

I think the people that consistently produce really good stuff  are masters of this process. They are not more creative than most of us, but they are much better at demanding that the creativity flow out of them and become art or song or whatever else it is they do. Creativity can not be rigid by any means, but we must sit down at our craft and create. That is what the creative does. Day after day after day. Sometimes what we have created really stinks, but that isn’t the point. If we are truly creative, good will come.

There is a great scene from the movie Finding Forrester (one of my favorite movies, Marixa was not so thrilled) where Sean Connery’s character William Forrester is giving instruction to Rob Brown’s character Jamal Wallace. He points to a typewriter and instructs Jamal to write. The scene unfolds like this:

Forrester: Go ahead.

Wallace: Go ahead and what?

Forrester: Write.

Wallace: What are you doing?

Forrester: I’m writing like you will be when you start punching those keys. (Jamal looks uncertain) Is there a problem?

Wallace: No, I’m just thinking.

Forrester: No. No thinking. That comes later.

The old man is a master at his task. He sits himself down in front of the keys and he writes. This is a skill he helps teach Jamal throughout the rest of the movie. This is evidenced by the fact that Jamal’s teacher see such a rapid improvement in his work they question if it his own.

In my pursuit of the life I am meant to live I have to acknowledge that being creative is how God has wired me. Knowing this, it is my privilege to sit down to it. Whether it is through words, music, or food I choose to use my creativity. My job is to sit down and do it. No excuses. If only one person benefits, it was worth the time.

Anybody who has been around me for any amount of time know this about me: I am passionate about my marriage. I am married to a wonderful woman. She is beautiful and smart, funny and sexy, thoughtful and witty, and the best friend I have ever had. These things make it  easy to be passionate about my marriage to her. But, truth be told though, I would be passionate about my marriage even if she wasn’t some of those things.

I have a bold statement to make. One that I know many people will not believe. Marriage is not broken. People are. Marriage works. What do I mean by this? Simply that. It works. It is one of the most awesome experiences of my life and it works just fine, if we work on it. If we submit ourselves to the process, marriage most certainly works. You don’t always get your way. You compromise. You find solutions that work for both of you. And you learn that all of that is a very good thing.

I married my best friend 12 years ago this month. We have been through a lot of life in those 12 years and we are happier today than we have ever been. Taking a brief glance back it might be hard to see how. There have been deaths in the family. Both of her grandmas, her dad, her mom, and me have all been through bouts with cancer. (Her parents and I are out on the other side cancer free. We miss both of her grandmas dearly). There have been hard times. We tried to get pregnant with our son for over 5 years. Money has been tight at times. Life has bombarded us from all sides. I wouldn’t choose to do it any other way.

For as much hard times there have been awesome times too. We spent time on our anniversary day (January 9) remembering about our wedding day. We looked at where we were (see above…did I really ever have that much hair?!!) and where we have come. We have walked with each other. We have loved each other. We have enjoyed each other. We have shared our hopes and dreams. We have helped each other make some of those come true. We have much to celebrate.

In marrying one another we made each other a promise that we would walk with each other through the good times and hard times, remaining faithful to each other. We chose each other that day twelve years ago. We have made that choice, and will make that choice, every day forward. I chose to be her husband. She chose to be my wife. No second chances. No do overs. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The sense of wonder hasn’t left me either. With each year that passes I am still amazed and still so very thankful to God that she is the one I get to spend my life with.