Be careful what you say…

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I am amazed at how much power we have. For good or bad. We have a very powerful weapon at our disposal: our words.

Our words have power. How we use them can bring joy or pain. Laughter or tears.You know exactly what I mean. You are probably thinking now about things that you have said or you have said to someone.

For example:

The Bad: You idiot. You are not good enough. Can’t you do anything right? I never loved you.

The Good: You look nice today. Thank you for helping me. I appreciate you. I am a better person because of your influence.

I don’t underestimate the power of my words. I have seen on more than one occasion how the things I say can bring harm. Sometimes when I haven’t intended for it to be that way. I can’t be careless with what I say. What is the old verse? Even a fool looks wise if he keeps his mouth shut.

When we do use our words on purpose it is amazing. A kind work genuinely spoken is like medicine for the heart. The cool thing is it doesn’t cost a thing to make others feel really good. Who do you know that needs your words today?

Stop trying to hit me and hit me.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I have been frustrated with myself the last few days. Ok. More like these past few months. I have projects that I want to dive into and I have found myself very distracted. Ok. Fine. It has been an issue with me for a long time. There. Happy? Anyway. There have been things that I have wanted to write, projects that I have wanted to finish, and goals that are important to me, but the pattern has remained. I accomplish some and then I fizzle.

Don’t mistake, I have times of high productivity. I work with deadlines really well. When I know what has to be done and I know the time frame I have, I know how to work. This is part of why I am frustrated. When an expectation is placed on me that is outside myself, I rise to the challenge. A lot of times when I set the expectations I find it easy to get off track.

The Matrix is one of my favorite movies. There is a scene in it where the character Neo is in training. His mentor Morpheus is attempting to free Neo’s mind to see the possibilities and the potential that Neo possesses. As they are in a sparring match Morpheus tells Neo, “Stop trying to hit me and hit me.” He is telling Neo that there is more in him. More than Neo can see. More than Neo can even imagine. Neo just has to believe it.

I think the same is true of all of us creatively. There is so much potential for greatness inside. So much that we have yet to tap into. The hard part is sitting down to it, devoting ourselves to our aims, and working like mad until what we first imagined sits in front of us completed. The morale of the story: Stop trying to do it. Just get it done.

What experience have you had with this? How have you overcome it?

Learning to be consistent. In cooking and in life.

~ David Willis ~ 1 Comment

I am a Food Network junkie. It is usually what we have on in the evenings. (So much so that my son, who is two and a half, knows most all of the Food Network chef’s and asks for them by name…) One of my new favorite shows is Restaurant: Impossible. It is a lot like Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, but without all the swearing.

On one episode, Chef Robert Irvine had the kitchen staff, four people in total, cook him the same dish off the menu. Each of them was to cook it the way they would serve it, without communicating with one another. The result? Each person cooked it a different way. The chef’s point was this: if a person comes into the restaurant and orders a dish they want it cooked the same way every time. Because there was no communication in the kitchen (no head chef) there was no consistency to the meal. Success can not be built in that way. It made a lot of sense to me.

I posted a few weeks ago about a disaster I had in the kitchen. You can read about it here. I made a dish called Pasta Carbonara. It is a delicious fettuccine meal that has bacon pieces in a cream sauce. I made it again last night, and atoned for my sins a few weeks ago. While making the dish last night I realized something. I used the wrong recipe a few weeks ago. (I even linked the wrong recipe in my last post…I couldn’t believe it!) I used the wrong blasted recipe! How do I expect to get the same results if I don’t follow the same steps…or at least use the same ingredients?!! It was a lesson in consistency for sure.

This lead me down the path of thought even further. This is one of the lessons I have been learning over the past few months. Learning to be consistent. I am finding it is the path to greater achievement. This has been true in blogging, building relationships, exercising, working, and just about every other area I can think of.  You can’t go to the gym sporadically and expect to build a perfect physique. You can’t spend random time with your spouse and expect for your marriage to be perfect. You can’t expect the dish to come out perfect if you don’t follow the recipe the same way every time. To build (or cook) things of quality and lasting value, you have to be consistent.

It sure makes things taste better when you are.

A knight in shining armor?

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I have been reading back through some stuff I wrote a while back. What you see in italics below is circa 2002, I think. I wrote this bit about how I viewed my relationship with Marixa. I would like to share it with you. I will add some comments at the bottom.

My armor is not as shiny as it used to be. Armor that has been used rarely is. It has withstood the attacks. My lady is safe. This is my achievement. She feels safe, cared for, and loved. I know with certainty she sees no problem with her knight.

In days long ago another tried to take up the shield and sword to defend her. His armor was polished, as was his sword. But, they were both poorly made. His armor cracked. His sword shattered. He fled and left her alone in the wild. Now, she is my lady. This will not happen.

My armor is thick and heavy. It may not shine as it once did, but no matter. Its dull finish is a reminder to those who would try and do her harm. This knight has seen battle and won. I will not take the armor off to polish it. My lady must not suffer attack. Her protection and her honor require that, to the very giving of my life.

I wrote this after we had been married for 3 years. I feel every word of it even more 9 years later. As her husband it is my honor to defend her. She is a strong woman who is more than capable of taking care of herself, but at the same time she has to know that I am fighting for her. Loving her. Caring for her needs. Protecting her and our family from harm. She knows that I am for her.

One of the reasons I remember writing this was to ask this question: Is a knight in shining armor the best? Or is it the one who has fought and proved himself? What do you think?

 

 

Telling the story well.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Some people are natural storytellers. It is like breathing. They draw you in and you are with them until the very end of the telling. Some people are really good at this. Others are not. But, that shouldn’t stop you from telling a story worth hearing. Especially if it is one that you have lived.

The trick is knowing which details to include and which to omit. If you watch the best storytellers, they don’t bombard you with meaningless or trivial details. Every reference they make, every word of the story is driving to the climax and resolution. There is very little useless filler. Very little rabbit chasing (which I, unfortunately, am prone to from time to time!).

How is this accomplished? Here are a few ways to prepare your story for the telling:

1. List out the important details of the story on paper. (If it is a story worth telling more than once, you might as well write it down and solidify it in your mind.)

2. Keep it fairly short. Take enough time to include all of the important details, but remember that the average attention span is not so….hey look! Theres a squirrel. You get my point. We have all sat in on a person recounting a story that should have lasted 2 minutes and lasted 20. Don’t do that.

3. Even though the story might be about you, invite your listeners in and make it feel like they were a part of it as well. Ask questions about the emotions involved in the story. Engage them in the telling. Make it a group experience and not just a way for you to show off.

While storytelling doesn’t come naturally to some, it is something that can be learned. We all have experiences that are worth the telling. Yes. It is true. You have a story worth telling. With a little bit of practice you can learn to tell it well and people will benefit from it.