Thoughts from 25000 feet.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I am 25000 feet above the ground right now, on a flight headed for Houston. It has been 9 years since I have flown and there are several things I have forgotten since or am just experiencing.

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One. Going to the airport to get on the plane isn’t as bad as many people make it out to be. Sure, you have to show up a couple of hours early and go through a rigorous bag and belongings check, but the airport personnel do an admirable job. Especially considering it was 4 am when I got there.

Two. I am headed down here for a conference, so this trip is for business. Most of the other passengers on the plane appear to be on the flight headed for vacation. There was a general sense of excitement and relaxation at the terminal this morning. I am thankful for this. Long travel days aren’t fun, but the smiles around me are helping. It is amazing what a smile can do.

Three. It is easy to forget how beautiful the world looks from up here. The clouds are spread out like a floor under the plane. The sun is shining bright. You can see for miles and miles. God is the original creative. I am in awe of his work.

Four. Though, I will be back home late this evening I miss my darling wife and my boy already. This is the furthest I have been from home without them. It is going to be a great day and when it is done I look forward to getting home and curling up next to them.

Sometimes uncomfortable is right where you need to be.

~ David Willis ~ 1 Comment

I will admit it. I like things to be comfortable. On Sunday it was raining in Oklahoma. My wife had the shades in the house drawn and lots of candles lit. The house smelled good. The lighting was nice. The temperature was just right. We made a good pot of chicken chili. It was a comfortable evening and I really enjoyed it. I want to be comfortable in my home. I like being comfortable in general.

I have come to the realization that I don’t want to be comfortable in everything. Ever had a job you hate? Every been in a relationship with someone that had grown stagnant? We grow comfortable and it doesn’t matter if we are miserable as well, we must maintain the comfort. I stayed in a job like that for nearly 4 years because it was something that didn’t push me too hard. I was miserable, but it was comfortable in its own way.

You know one thing that will make you uncomfortable in a good way? Goals. I recently sat down and typed out my Life Goal list. I currently have 72 items down, with hopes of making it to 100. It is extremely exciting to get all of these things down on paper. I like seeing them in front of me and thinking about what things I will be able to do, but it is an uncomfortable process. I know that to accomplish many of these things I will have to push myself harder than I have ever have before. I will have to go farther that I have been. I may have to give up some things that I enjoy to accomplish them. I will have to do things in a different way to attain different results. This is exciting and a bit scary all at the same time.

Dreaming is uncomfortable in this way. It takes us out of the place we are in and for a moment puts us in the place we want to be. Then, we have to connect the dots. Make out a plan. Act. To accomplish noble goals, I imagine that there is a great loss of comfort. I am ready for this. I am certain that the purpose that you gain because of it is worth the sacrifice.

How about you? Have you given up on any of your dreams because you have grown comfortable? Is it time to choose to be uncomfortable and take those dreams back?

If you take care of it it won’t break.

~ David Willis ~ 3 Comments

What was your first car? I remember mine well: 1984 Pontiac Bonneville with a V8 and room for 6 (up  to 10 if you got creative). It was a great first car. It got me from point A to point B without any trouble. It wasn’t a dream car, but it was a good one.

I once ran it into a tree stump. The hood was so long on the thing I couldn’t see, and didn’t remember, that I had parked it by the stump. I was in a hurry. Got in the car, fired it up, and punched the gas trying to pull forward and bam! I expected people to come out of the house I was at to find out what happened. It didn’t even scratch the bumper…or the stump. No harm, no foul.

I know that I changed the spark plugs on it once. I may have added oil to it from time to time. I am not sure I ever opened the coolant cap to check the fluid level. It was an old beater car, and I did very little to improve its status. I remember once when the brakes went out on me when I was driving. Somehow I got the car stopped, but I am not sure how. Did I check the brake fluid? I don’t think so.

As I have made it to other cars through the years I have learned to take better care of them. I didn’t spend any money on the first one (thanks for looking out for me mom and dad), so I wasn’t invested in taking care of it. The two vehicles my wife and I have now I do my best to take better care. It is common knowledge that if you don’t maintain it, you end up having to fix it, which becomes costly and takes a lot longer.

Marriage is much the same way. If you are wise, when you get married you realize that you have to take care of your spouse daily. You have to check all of the vital stats. How is my wife doing today? Is she upset? What is going on in her life that would cause her stress? Are there things that have her worried? Are the kids overwhelming her? Is there something she is saying, even though she hasn’t said anything? These are all things that need to be considered every day.

Marixa will tell you that I am a fanatic about taking care of her. I don’t wait on her hand and foot (which she would probably like, but get tired of), but I do go to great lengths to make sure of how she is and how I can help. There are times that I am not as observant as I need to be, but for the most part I am pretty perceptive. I can tell by talking to her if something is a miss.

I ask her frequently throughout the day what is on her mind. I want her to share her thoughts and her feelings with me. I want to know her more and more. If I feel like I have done something to upset her, I ask her what it is. I don’t go overboard with all of this, but I do make a habit of making sure everything is all right. (There is a fine line with being on top of things and being annoying. I don’t cross that one.)

I know that I can not be for her everything she needs. There are times that she is going to need to be by herself to catch her breath. That is no knock on me, that is just human nature. I know that she needs lady friends to talk with her about things that they are going through that she relates with. I am ok with that as well. I can only be so understanding on things I haven’t experienced myself.

Just like I can’t go out and jump in my car everyday and expect it to start if I don’t maintain it, I can’t ignore the needs of my wife and expect my relationship to be healthy.

What are you doing to keep your relationship the best it can be?

Name your adversity.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

There are times in life we encounter adversity. Some of us come up against it in some form every day. It comes with being human. It is not something that can be avoided even though we all try. I have heard that there are only three phases in life. You are either headed into a storm, you are in the storm, or  you are coming out of the storm. I think there is a fourth stage as well. There are times of peace. Make no mistake though, those times can go in an instant.

When I was 25 life was good. I had been married for 5 years. I had a steady job. I was enjoying myself. There wasn’t much that time with my wife, a good nap, and a good meal wouldn’t fix. Then, came the lump.

It felt like I had been kicked hard in a way that hurts a man most. I blew it off for a short time, because after all I was invincible. After the pain persisted I made a visit to the doctor. I was referred to a specialist. Within 5 minutes of meeting with the specialist I was being scheduled for surgery. There was no time to think. There was hardly time to plan. I just knew I had a tumor and they were going in after it. Enter adversity.

Chemo took my hair away. I didn't care. The cancer was no more.

Cancer is not one of those things that you can stand up to by yourself and beat. If you could I wouldn’t have gone through surgery or chemotherapy. I needed help. I had just named what was wrong in my body and measures could be taken to combat it. I listened to the doctors, weighed what they had to say, and then picked the best treatment plan for me. Thank the Lord it worked.  It has been six years and I am cancer free.

What is it you are going through? Call it by name. Don’t beat around the bush. Is it an addiction? Are  you in debt? Are you overweight? Whatever the adversity is, name it. Only then can you start to take steps to overcome it. It may take time to overcome. You may need help getting it done, but now is the time to start. There is a lot of life to live on the other side.

You deserve better than that.

~ David Willis ~ 2 Comments

Today on my lunch break I took a few minutes and flipped through my Facebook app on my iPhone. There wasn’t much going on, but one post grabbed my attention. A lady I knew from high school posted the video link to “Stay” by Sugarland. I made a note to watch it when I got home. I knew the song, but had never seen the video. Whoa. That one rips your heart when you watch it.

I had a whole bunch of thoughts after I watched this one:

One, no woman needs to go through this. You deserve much better. You may not see it, but you do. If you are in this situation, there is very little chance it will get better. Men who do this to women are not worth the tears or the heartbreak. You were created in the image of a God who loves you. Living like this is beneath your dignity.

Two, I love the portion of the song where she decides to get up and stand up for herself. The look on her face when she makes the choice is awesome. It is heart wrenching, but it awesome. You see the fire ignite in her mind. Though the pain of it would crush her, she stands up and declares that she doesn’t have to live that way. There is a long journey ahead, but that was a great first step.

Three, any man who does this to a woman needs to grow up. Man up, make a choice, and take care of the one you choose. Real men don’t cheat. I have been in love with my wife for almost 13 years now. I don’t want another woman. I would be stupid to throw away everything I have built for something as dumb. I told my wife before we were married that I was all in. No games. She has my heart completely.

Lastly, this song is a reminder to cherish the woman I love, who loves me in return. I am forever grateful.