I had an interesting conversation today at work. A friend asked me for advice on a situation she was having. I told her I would be glad to offer any feedback that I could.

Let me start by saying this: She is extremely good at her job. Many people know this. In fact, they seek out her help because she’s good at what she does. However, there are some that want her to do their work instead of putting her counsel in the action.

She was frustrated. She wants to be helpful. She does not want to do their jobs for them. I totally understand that. When I asked her whose responsibility it was to perform the work, she knew the right answer. But, she began to apologize that she was frustrated about the situation.

I reminded her of the confidence I have in her work. There have been several times I have had to send project work to her knowing full well that she will complete it with excellence. I also commended her for her desire to be helpful and to do a good job. I did share with her is that she should not apologize for expecting others to do their own work. That is just life.

Where is the line between being helpful and enabling others to be lazy? For me, I want to be helpful to the team. Many times there are things that I can do faster and easier than others because I’ve done the job for longer. I don’t see a problem with this, if it is truly helping the person requesting the assistance and I have a choice to perform the work.

Much of this revolves on the way that you are asked for the help. In the situation I described above, the requestor was trying to pass off work that they didn’t need help with. Not cool.

I love helping people. It part of who I am. Because of this, when I ask for help I always want to show gratitude. It’s just the right way to be.

There are so many things I am thankful for in my life. My wife and son. My parents and brother. My friends. My health. My extended family. The more I think about it, the more there is to be thankful for.

With that being said, have I taken them time lately to express my gratitude? Not as much as I should. To that end, I am starting a new weekly thankfulness post.

For this evening’s post, i will start with this…I am thankful for my brother. He and I have not had the closest relationship over the years and I regret that. However, he is a man I am proud of. I have watched him from afar and can say without a doubt I am proud of him. He has had his ups and downs, but like the man he is, he keeps getting back up. I am proud to be his brother.

Chris, I love you. I am praying for you. I am so thankful for you.

Like most people, I struggle with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of insignificance. Fear of sickness. Fear of snakes. It is irrational. I don’t know why, but fear can paralyze me quick. I can’t talk. I can’t think. I hate when I allow that to happen to me.

For the longest time I thought that fears were just something that I would have to accept. My lot in life. But somewhere deep inside of me there was a voice telling me that I was not supposed to be ruled by fear. I didn’t have to give in to it. Its true. I don’t have to give in to it.

So, there are areas of my life that I have started to turn into the fear. As a cancer survivor this has been exceptionally difficult. I have to face my fear. I have to stare at it and examine it. I am finding it to be nothing more than wind and shadows. I am finding myself empowered…I still stay away from snakes.

What are you afraid of? What imagined things hold you back from what you could be doing? I think that the words fear and alive are opposed in many ways. If we want to be alive, fully alive, we can’t live under fear’s rule. We have to be able to look into the fear, see the truth, and do what needs to be done.

There are times we will all be afraid of something. Consider the source. Some fears keep you safe. Some fears only serve to keep you in chains. Which one are you up against?

I heard a wonderful talk this afternoon as I attended a Toastmasters competition. The speech was given by my competition for the contest. The moment she started her presentation I though, “Whoa. I might get beat this time.” Her topic? Her personal journey to self improvement.

Though she desribed herself as a once shy and timid person, a very confident woman stood on the stage. She was extremely uplifting and very motivating. She shared two things that I want to share with you this evening.

First, in her journey to self improvement, was fanning the flame of self development. She told the group that she came to a place where she realized that the only way she was going to see improvements in her life was to take the initiative to get it done. From what she says, she has done just that. She is now an avid reader and seeks out wisdom to add to her life.

The next thing she brought to the group was the need for community and being around like minded people. She mentioned that participating in Toastmasters had greatly changed her life because she was around other motivated people who are focused on improving their lives. She receives feedback often and has been on a constant path to being more than she is now.

I really enjoyed her presentation and competing with her.

Yep. That is all I have to say tonight.