I don’t know about you, but I love Christmas traditions. For the most part. When they make sense. Do you know what I mean? Do you have Christmas traditions that you do every year? Do all of them make sense?

One tradition that we keep every year is decorating our house, usually sometime around Thanksgiving…this year it was two weeks before. We started years ago putting up the tree while having the movie White Christmas on as we decorated. When my boy arrived we added in the Polar Express after White Christmas, because we got more in the spirit and put up more decorations. It is a tradition I look forward to every year, because we make our home beautiful…with comfortable favorites playing on the TV.

Another tradition that we love is celebrating Christmas with some of our closest family friends. We started this several years ago where our two families get together every year to celebrate Christmas. When we all lived in same town, we celebrated for one long evening. Now that we live in different states, we all get together and we celebrate over one long weekend. That weekend just concluded. It was full of laughter, conversation, presents, mulled wine, Christmas Vacation, good food, memory making and so much more. It was so good to be with friends who are closer than family. This is a tradition I love.

What about traditions that have run their course? Our traditions supposed to last forever just because?What does Tradition mean?

Here is what I found:

Tradition – a custom or belief that has been passed on. A custom or widely accepted way of behaving or doing something that is specific to a society, place, or time.

Something that is specific to a society, place, or time. To me that means that some traditions are obviously passed on and observed for long periods. Others are only good for a specific amount of time. They are good until they run their course.

I used to go shopping on Black Friday. There was a lot of fun and deals to be had by going out early the morning after Thanksgiving. Then it became something that I no longer enjoyed. The store gimmicks got to be over the top and the crowds were a little crazy. I had planned to share it with my boy when he got old enough, but it changed. So, I pivoted. Black Friday was something I wanted to keep as a yearly thing, but it ran its course.

Marixa and I used to enjoy going to the mall on Christmas Eve every year. We would usually go get lunch, shop around a bit, and sit and people watch. It was always interesting to see families out enjoying the time with each other. You would also see the random frantic shoppers who apparently forgot that Christmas was on December 25th again and were cramming in all their shopping. This was a time that she and I enjoyed together, just soaking it all in. It was a good tradition. It fell to the wayside several years ago as it was crammed out by other things. We enjoyed it for the time.

To me, traditions are intended to keep us looking forward to being together. We do them to enjoy the season, enjoy each other, and to remember what is important. If there are traditions you keep that don’t fit those categories, maybe it is time to re-examine them.

I witnessed wonderful example this weekend of a good tradition in practice. The time brought good friends together to enjoy each other, to celebrate our friendships, and to joy in the season. In the words of Cousin Eddie…it was real nice Clark.

For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated with movies. It doesn’t usually matter what kind as long as there is a good story involved. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be all that good as long as it is told well. I love stories.

What are your favorite stories? Do you like action? Adventure? Romance? Comedy? Tear jerker’s? What stories do you identify with?

Some of my favorite movies are those of epic proportions. Gladiator. Braveheart. The Matrix. These are the kind of stories where the main character is against great odds, but is able to fight through the opposition and achieve their task. Even if it costs them their life.

I also love stories where you can see characters grow. Finding Forrester. A Christmas Carole. Groundhog Day. The Legend of Bagger Vance. In each of these stories one of the characters is shown who they really are and are given a chance to step into a better future.

Story is very powerful stuff. It has the power to challenge us. Make us think. It shapes our perception about the life that we live. We relate to all of life like it is a story, because it is. You are the main character in your story just as I am the main character in mine.

This may be a new thought to many of you, your life as a story. If you think about it, it fits. How do we recount things to each other? In story. How would you feel if you asked someone about their day and they just started listing bullet points of what they had done. You would get the basics of what they had accomplished for the day, but would not know how all of it fit together in their life.

For instance: “John, how was work today?” “It was fine. Did some spreadsheets. Took some calls. Met a new coworker. Came home.” You get the gist of what John did for the day, but it doesn’t make you jump up and down to ask them the same question tomorrow.

Or this: “John, how was your day?” “It was a good day. Took me forever to get through some spreadsheets I was doing because Mark kept popping his head in my office wanting help on a project he is doing. I am a little swamped right now, but Mark is having some trouble at home and I was glad to help him. We also had a new lady start today. I think we really hit it off. She asked me for my number. We will see where it goes…”

The first was a list of facts. The second was the most of the same details put in the framework of story. The second was more interesting wasn’t it? You get details. You get insight on what John is thinking. You get to see his day through his eyes. Story draws us in. It helps us convey meaning to things that have happened.

Have you noticed this in your life? I know I have in mine. I enjoy being around people who tell stories and live exciting things. I want to tell a good story with my life as well. Looking at your life in this way can lead you away from a normal humdrum existence. We all want to be part of a good story. If you are living a story you wouldn’t want to read, then it may be time to start writing something different.

How would thinking of your life in terms of story benefit you?

Have you ever been stuck in a dead end job? Stuck in an environment you don’t like, around people you wouldn’t choose to be with, doing work that sucks your soul out slowly day after day? I know what this is like. It is the life I lived for several years. I was miserable. I was comfortable in my misery. It was awful. 

I used to come home from work and think, “Now I can live my life. Now I can be me.” But, as it always does, morning would come again and I would be off to do the responsible thing…paying bills is a good thing to do. At the end of each day I would lay down in bed and dream of winning the lottery, or striking it rich some other way, so I could get away from having to work…which I was sure was the problem. 

Somewhere in the midst of the misery though, I came in contact with a different current of thought. Maybe I didn’t have to be comfortably miserable. Maybe there really was a way to break out of the cage that I had found myself in.  I started to believe that things could change.

When I was 5 years old I wanted to be a policeman just like my dad. Just like most other boys I knew, my dad was my hero and I wanted to be just like him. He was the toughest, coolest, most awesome policeman I knew. That sounded like the job for me. So, imagine my surprise when I grew up and low and behold I didn’t want to become a policeman. And my further surprise, when I realized I worked in a job I hated, and didn’t know how to get out. This was not the future I had envisioned. What happened to being just like my dad? What happened to following in his noble footsteps? How did I find myself at a job I hated with no way out?

I realized that the path I was on wasn’t one anyone else had walked. There is only one me. The path that I have to take is my own. So, I decided that I would lean in and do the best I could in that dead end job…even if I didn’t like the work or who I worked for.

Where did that take me? Immediately I took back my sense of control. When you are in control you are no longer a victim to circumstance or whatever else. I was only controlling my own attitude and the quality of the work I was doing, but it was a start. It helped tremendously. My attitude and my environment improved. When the time came and a new opportunity presented itself, I was ready.

Had I not had that epiphany, I may have stayed comfortably miserable in that same job. I may not have gotten the call for my next job. I may not be where I am today if not for that moment of choosing to do my best where I was. Who knows?

Do you identify with this? Are you happy with the work you do? Are you just getting by? Make the decision today. Take control of you. Walk the path that only you can walk. I don’t know where it will lead…but is there a chance it could be better than where you are now?

Verse 1

I am staring at the hour glass and the sands slip right through and the minutes turn to hours that I’m here without you. The more that I stare the more time gets away, you didn’t want me to go, but I knew I couldn’t stay

Chorus

I am not the man you need, though that is all I want to be, and the harder that I try, the more clearly I see, God had something better in mind when he created you, you deserve so much more, so this old cowboy just won’t do

Verse 2

So I have packed up all my things, except that shirt you love, the one you took from me the night we couldn’t get enough There are so many things I wish I could change, but know I won’t be able to. A woman like you deserves so much more than my denim and my boots.

Chorus

I am not the man you need, though that is all I want to be, and the harder that I try, the more clearly I see, God had something better in mind when he created you, you deserve so much more, so this old cowboy just won’t do

Verse 3

I take one last look in my rearview and our place shrinks out of sight, and a part of me fades into the night. Maybe in another lifetime we will have our chance again, maybe by then I will be a better man

Chorus

I am not the man you need, though that is all I want to be, and the harder that I try, the more clearly I see, God had something better in mind when he created you, you deserve so much more, so this old cowboy just won’t do

I feel it. I turned 40 last year and I feel it. My body hurts a bit more than it used to. I need more sleep than I did a few years ago. Remembering is harder because there is a lot of years to sift back through.

A while back I started writing down memories on 3×5 cards to start sorting out the major, or memorable events in my life. By the time I got through the exercise I had a stack of cards filled out, and still had plenty left to go. It has been a useful exercise though because the more I write down the more memories are coming back.

For instance, I wrote a post not long ago about my 1984 Pontiac Bonneville. After I wrote that post another memory came back to me of the adventures in that car. I pulled up one day in front of friends house in the car. Her dad was a photographer and had taken my senior pics. I stopped by to preview them.

After I pulled up in the driveway a large explosion went off and I hurriedly ducked down. What had that sound been?! It sounded like a shotgun. After a few seconds I surveyed the surroundings and didn’t see anyone. I slowly got out of the car to investigate. I was cautious and soon made a discovery…one of my tires had exploded. The lesson I learned? Don’t drive on gravel with bald tires.

Some of the note cards I wrote are about specific events. Others have been about jobs that I had when I was younger. I have worked all kinds of jobs, but one of the most interesting and at the same time not so great jobs I ever had was working as an insurance claims office manager.

I learned very quickly when dealing with people and their money, or the prospect of them receiving money, folks can lose their minds and manners in a hurry. I had been on the job less than a month when a grain harvester guy called inquiring about “his check”. The question he asked me was something along the lines of…”Son, I need to know where my check is and I need to know now!” I told him he would need to speak with my manager. He told me that I was full of bovine feces and needed to get him his check. Yeah. Real conversation. I am happy to report it was several more weeks before he got anything.

Another good memory is when I got the job offer that led me away from the insurance office. Now, you have to understand that the office I worked in smelled like a cigar lounge. The president of the company smoked 6 cigars a day while sitting 10 feet from my desk. I smelled like an ash tray at all times. Marixa made me shower every day when I got home before she would even kiss me. So, when the job offer came in I told the hiring manager I could start immediately if needed…right after I took a shower.

I have enjoyed the process of writing out the different memory cards. I do not want to forget anything. I am glad to know that the stories are still in there, even if it is taking a little more prying these days to get them out.

Do you have memories locked inside? Is it time to get them out?