Author: David Willis

The power of choice.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I looked in the mirror not too long ago and was disgusted with what I saw. I weighed over 280 pounds. My face was puffy. I felt horrible. I looked horrible. It felt like it was something I couldn’t control.

This was taken in the summer of 2009. I have gained a couple of pounds since then, but am still over 40 pounds lighter than the big guy on the right.

We all know that this is not the truth. One of our most basic freedoms is the freedom to choose. I had the freedom to stop putting bad food in my mouth. I also had the freedom to exercise like a maniac, though I wasn’t. The problem was this: It was something I couldn’t control then, because I thought I couldn’t control it. Perception became reality.

Then, one day I woke up. Somewhere deep inside I made the choice to change. I am 40 pounds lighter now, and I am still a work in progress. I know that if I want to make the long term goal I have set I have to break it down into smaller goals. What I want to do five years from now is affected by what I do today. So, I simply have to make sure I have a goal for today. That goal has to be a part of my goal for the week, which are a part of my goals for the month, for the year, and for five years out. If I choose to what is right today, I can choose the same tomorrow and for the time to come. The goal will become a reality.

I am proof of this. I look in the mirror now and then back at pictures of me from then. The power of choice is quite evident.

Good is out there.

~ David Willis ~ 2 Comments

If you have read my blog for any amount of time you know this about me: I love food. I enjoy cooking very much. There are times when you get home after a long day at work though that you just have to jump in the car and go in search of someone else to fix your evening meal. Know what I mean?

Marixa and I enjoy finding new places to eat. I have a soft spot for mom and pop establishments. I want to find our local ones that are doing a good job and support them. Their food is usually better, and sometimes even better for you. Many use fresh local ingredients and don’t have a ton of overhead to worry about for their business so they can keep the food items reasonably priced.

Not to long ago we tried a new hamburger joint right around the corner from our neighborhood. It had been a donut shop previously and I was happy to see something a little less greasy go in in it’s place. We were pleased with the service and the food was good. The owner of the establishment seemed very eager and I hope his business does well. Time will tell if he makes it, but it seems like he wants it to.

On the recommendation of a couple we know from church, we tried an authentic Mexican place in Oklahoma City. I am not sure if they have a heater/AC in the place. We went in just after it had snowed and it was definitely cold in the place. My first impression was not all that positive. But, they brought the food out and I forgot all about it. The tacos and tamales were awesome. The prices were awesome. Have been back to have more good food since. The good far outweighed the bad.

Ok. Two success stories unfortunately pave the way for a FAIL story. We tried a little Mexican restaurant in town this evening. IIt is a small space that will only seat less than 40 comfortably and looked inviting. We went in expecting for it to be good. We had built up anticipation that it was going to be great. Marixa got chicken enchiladas. I had chicken nachos. I was very disappointed. It wasn’t even average. It was awful. The queso was curdled. The chicken had no seasoning. I asked the waitress what kind of cheese the queso was made out of to which she replied, “I don’t know.” She turned and walked away. I am glad we tried the place, but I am disappointed it wasn’t what we expected.

Even though we didn’t enjoy the meal we had tonight, my desire to explore new places is not put out. Every once in a while we are going to find a dud when we are looking for new things that will bring excitement and joy to our lives. One bad experience will not keep me from wanting to experience. This is true with restaurants and with all areas in life. The good is out there. I just have to keep looking.

 

In My Arms…A song I wrote 3 years ago.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Since I was 15 I have been writing songs. Some of them pretty good. Some of them not so good. (Some I should have been beat for not throwing away right after I put down the pen!) It has been a hobby and a pursuit for over half my life. The creativity comes and goes in spurts, but when it comes it is a lot of fun.

When we found out that we had a little one on the way I knew I needed to write a song for him. I started working on it about this time in 2008. He was supposed to be a June baby (was born in July), so I gave myself plenty of time to work on the project. I had writer’s block for a couple of months. There was so much I wanted to say. How was I going to whittle all the feelings down to three minutes?

One thing that I kept coming back to over and over is that I would be able to hold him. I knew he was on the way, but I knew it would be even more awesome and real when I could hold him close to me. I remember the feeling I had when the nurse handed him to me. I have no words to describe the feeling. Hopefully the song will give a little indication. Check it out and let me know what you think.

In My Arms (Trey’s Song)

Failure is only the end if you let it be.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Around my house there is no shortage of cartoons. I live with an awesome two year old. He loves Toy Story, Monster’s Inc., Robots, and many others. His current favorite is Meet the Robinsons. I hadn’t seen this one until a few months back. It is one of the best kids movies I have seen in a long time.

There is a scene in the movie where the main character, Louis, messes up trying to fix a peanut butter and jelly sandwich maker. PB&J goes everywhere. He is devastated and starts apologizing to everyone around. They look puzzled at him and then congratulate him for his failure. One character tells him, “From failure we learn. From success…not so much.” He is then introduced to the motto Keep Moving Forward. It is a great scene.

I love it when there are adult sized lessons built into the kids stories. Louis thought that failure was the end and that he would continue to be a failed inventor. He later finds out that he is the one that invented the future he sees around him. He is not a failure at all, because he didn’t let himself be. He kept creating and looking for new ways to do things. He kept moving forward with his dreams.

There is a great quote from Walt Disney at the end of the movie. I shared it in an earlier post, but it is worth sharing again:

Around here, however, we don’t look backwards very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we are curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

This is a note of encouragement this evening. You have dreams inside of you. You may have failed a time or two, but it just might be the time to pick back up and try again. What are they? Why have you put them on hold? Have you been looking backward too long and not been able to focus on what is ahead? You can do it.

Don’t be afraid of failure. That will happen from time to time. The main fear I have of failure is that I won’t learn the lessons and have to do it all over again. I want to learn. I want to grow. Years from now I want to know that I gave it all I could. It is hard to do that when you are looking back too long. Failure is only permanent if you let it be.

I remember how it felt and I will never go there again.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

It has been several years since I have broken up with anyone. About a decade and a half. I still remember how it felt. The pain in my chest. The overwhelming feeling that I would never be happy again. The doubt and self loathing. Feeling just plain miserable. Any of this ring a bell?

In retrospect, I know that none of those relationships were where I needed to be. But, you never know that when you are in the middle of it. You just know the feeling and emotion that you have put into the relationship. The love and the time you have invested. It is devastating when it all goes up in smoke. Even when you know it all needs to go up in smoke.

When Marixa and I first met I knew I enjoyed being around her. After we hung around a while longer I knew that she could be someone that I could care about deeply. It didn’t take me long to know that I never wanted to hold another hand as long as I live. I knew she was the one for me. I knew something else though (and still know), our relationship has to be a priority every day. There are no days off. She is my bride and my best friend and I am all in.

I remember how the heartache feels. I don’t ever want to forget how it feels, because it reminds me how important it is to love Marixa well. I have to pay attention to her needs. I have to help her be the person she is meant to be. I have to love her the way she deserves to be loved (completely). I have to engage in our relationship so that it stays fresh and vibrant.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am really enjoying the music of The Civil Wars. They have a very moving song called Falling (if you haven’t heard it you can watch the video below). The first line says, “Haven’t you seen me sleepwalking? Because, I’ve been holding your hand. Haven’t you noticed me drifting? Oh, let me tell you I am.”

Have you ever been in a relationship like this? One where you, or your partner has stopped noticing what is going on? Time is drifting by and one of you thinks everything is ok, but the other is really drowning? What a lonely place to be. Lonely, and totally unnecessary.

What is more important than your relationship with your spouse? Not much that I can think of. She is my partner in this life. I choose to walk with her. I choose to love her. I choose to meet her needs. Actually, I already chose these things in January of 1999. Now, I have to make that choice real every day. It takes work, but I know for sure there will be no sleepwalking in my house.