Name your adversity.

There are times in life we encounter adversity. Some of us come up against it in some form every day. It comes with being human. It is not something that can be avoided even though we all try. I have heard that there are only three phases in life. You are either headed into a storm, you are in the storm, or  you are coming out of the storm. I think there is a fourth stage as well. There are times of peace. Make no mistake though, those times can go in an instant.

When I was 25 life was good. I had been married for 5 years. I had a steady job. I was enjoying myself. There wasn’t much that time with my wife, a good nap, and a good meal wouldn’t fix. Then, came the lump.

It felt like I had been kicked hard in a way that hurts a man most. I blew it off for a short time, because after all I was invincible. After the pain persisted I made a visit to the doctor. I was referred to a specialist. Within 5 minutes of meeting with the specialist I was being scheduled for surgery. There was no time to think. There was hardly time to plan. I just knew I had a tumor and they were going in after it. Enter adversity.

Chemo took my hair away. I didn't care. The cancer was no more.

Cancer is not one of those things that you can stand up to by yourself and beat. If you could I wouldn’t have gone through surgery or chemotherapy. I needed help. I had just named what was wrong in my body and measures could be taken to combat it. I listened to the doctors, weighed what they had to say, and then picked the best treatment plan for me. Thank the Lord it worked.  It has been six years and I am cancer free.

What is it you are going through? Call it by name. Don’t beat around the bush. Is it an addiction? Are  you in debt? Are you overweight? Whatever the adversity is, name it. Only then can you start to take steps to overcome it. It may take time to overcome. You may need help getting it done, but now is the time to start. There is a lot of life to live on the other side.

You deserve better than that.

Today on my lunch break I took a few minutes and flipped through my Facebook app on my iPhone. There wasn’t much going on, but one post grabbed my attention. A lady I knew from high school posted the video link to “Stay” by Sugarland. I made a note to watch it when I got home. I knew the song, but had never seen the video. Whoa. That one rips your heart when you watch it.

I had a whole bunch of thoughts after I watched this one:

One, no woman needs to go through this. You deserve much better. You may not see it, but you do. If you are in this situation, there is very little chance it will get better. Men who do this to women are not worth the tears or the heartbreak. You were created in the image of a God who loves you. Living like this is beneath your dignity.

Two, I love the portion of the song where she decides to get up and stand up for herself. The look on her face when she makes the choice is awesome. It is heart wrenching, but it awesome. You see the fire ignite in her mind. Though the pain of it would crush her, she stands up and declares that she doesn’t have to live that way. There is a long journey ahead, but that was a great first step.

Three, any man who does this to a woman needs to grow up. Man up, make a choice, and take care of the one you choose. Real men don’t cheat. I have been in love with my wife for almost 13 years now. I don’t want another woman. I would be stupid to throw away everything I have built for something as dumb. I told my wife before we were married that I was all in. No games. She has my heart completely.

Lastly, this song is a reminder to cherish the woman I love, who loves me in return. I am forever grateful.

I am thankful for the rain.

I woke this morning to the sound of thunder. I almost didn’t know what it was. It has been a few months since it has rained in this part of Oklahoma. It has been dry and dusty for weeks. So, I lay there in bed listening to the rain come down. It was a peaceful moment.

Aside from enjoying the sound, I am thankful it rained because my yard and my garden needed it. It amazes me how differently things grow when they are watered by rain water. I can water my yard and it greens up a little. It can rain and the whole yard explodes into life. We also noticed last year that our tomato plants responded really well to the rain. It left everything outside my house looking clean and fresh.

Though I know that the rain is a good thing (or can be), why do I almost always think of it in a bad way? I am usually frustrated when it rains. There is something I wanted to do that the rain has interfered with. Or, the electricity goes out in the house because of a lightning strike (not fond of this one) and we are left in the dark for a while. Despite all of the good things that the rain brings, we focus on the inconveniences or troubles.

Maybe this is why we call the hard times in life the storms. We all face times of life when it feels like the wind is howling around us. Thunder and lightning are crashing from all sides. The water is pouring down, cold and hard. We feel battered and are in desperate need of shelter. Anyone who has ever been caught out in an Oklahoma thunder storm knows exactly why this metaphor is used. The storms are hard, but many times good comes from them.

Have you ever had a storm in your life that caused you to reevaluate the way you did things? I have had many. Cancer, financial hardship, and lost friendships just to name a few. After these storms blew over I had a different perspective on things. Many things that I thought were important no longer were and that is OK. I needed the priority change. The storms left some wreckage, but they also washed a lot of things clean. There was a chance to start over at the storm’s end. The yard had been watered, so to speak.

I try to keep this perspective when it rains (in life and for real). I welcomed the rain today because the ground needed it very much. I welcome the rain in my life because it helps shape my character. I may not always like it when it is going on, but I know that it serves a purpose. Even if I can’t see it immediately.

She’s got nothing on you

Hang out with me for long enough and there are a few things you will pick up on: I love my wife and son like crazy, I enjoying cooking very much, I talk to myself in funny accents (I can do more than 10), and…I am crazy about my wife. There are other things that make me me, but two of these four really define me.

I was listening to the radio today and a song came on that I haven’t heard before. The chorus said something like this: ‘beautiful girls all over the world I could be chasing, but my time I’d be wasting cause they got nothing on you.’ I had to sit back and smile. I feel that way about Marixa. She is the one for me. There is no other.

Strangely enough, the song reminded me of a verse from Proverbs 31:29 that I had just read not too long ago: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” (NLT). Loosely translated: they got nothing on you.

I can think of many reasons why I feel like Marixa has surpassed all the others. She is a beautiful woman. She is a wonderful mother. She is the best friend I have ever known. She is brilliant. She is so very creative. She is compassionate. All of these reasons are good ones, but they are not the reason I can say with confidence that she has surpassed all the other women in the world in my eyes. What is my reason? She is my wife.

There is no one in this world that is like her for many reasons, but this is the one that I want to address. I fell in love with Marixa. I asked her to marry me. In front of our God and our family and friends I pledged to love her and cherish her above all others for all of my life. I chose her. I choose her still. She surpasses all the other women in this world because she is my wife. She is the one I made a covenant to love and cherish.

There will never be another. There is no need. I already made my choice. They have nothing on her. Does this ring true in your marriage? It is my prayer that you can say the same thing about the woman who wears your ring.

Now that is Weird.

For the past few weeks at church we have been involved in a series called Weird: Because normal isn’t working. Our pastor, Craig Groeshel (LifeChurch.TV), has been challenging the church to take a good look at what the world calls normal and urging us to be Weird in a good way. (In this context weird is a very good thing…keep reading). It has been an eye opening experience.

What is normal in America today? Normal is broke. Normal is fat. Normal is divorce. Normal is doing things because everyone else is doing them. Normal is depressed. Normal is stressed. Normal is without hope. Who wants to be normal? Not me.

We have been called by God to live differently than that. The key point that has been repeated over and over the past couple of weeks goes like this: If you want what normal people have do what normal people do. If you want what few people have do what few people do.

This is an issue that Marixa and I have become very passionate about over the last few months. (You can read her take on it here.) We have been evaluating what we do. Is it because it is the way it has always been done? Or because we have chosen to do it that way through thought and prayer? This relates to how we spend our money, how we treat our relationships, how we care for our bodies, and many other things.

I have a confession to make. I have been so normal in many areas of my life that it disgusts me. I have made some of the worst goofs with money that can be made, because it was normal. I have made some of the worst decisions with my health, because it is normal. I could go on for a while here. I have come to this conclusion: normal stinks.

Why do we fall into the rut of the normal? It is the path of least resistance. To be weird you have to work at it. You have to think about what you are doing. You have to walk a different path than those you disagree with. To be weird you have to do what few people do. That is the hard part. That is the rewarding part.

I am reading through Craig’s book of the same title. It is amazing how simple this stuff is and still so profound. Is your life overwhelmingly normal? Are you looking for something different? Want to be a little weird? Pick up the book and check out the sermon series at www.lifechurch.tv.