Author: David Willis

She looks like a Princess

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

One of the things I love about being a parent is getting to see the world through my son’s eyes. He has such a fresh, new perspective on everything that I would consider commonplace or mundane. It brings new life into many things for me as I get to enjoy them with him. I am very thankful for this.

One of my cousins got married yesterday. She is a beautiful young lady who married a fine young man. I am very happy for them both. We went to the ceremony and we sat off to the side, not knowing how a toddler would handle sitting through a wedding (thank the Lord for the iPhone). As the ceremony started our son looked back and saw my cousin in her dress. He looked at his mama and said, “Mama! Its a princess!” Now, that is exactly how every woman wants to feel at her wedding.

It was a great joy to watch her get married. I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with that side of the family over the years as I am 12 years older than she is. However, I have enjoyed watching her grow up. Her dad and my aunt got together when she was three. I remember meeting her for the first time. She didn’t know what to think of me, but we became buddies pretty quick. I didn’t know that my almost three year old would be watching her in her wedding all these years later. She was a cute kid. She is a beautiful woman. I am proud of her. She did look like a princess.

As I sat there watching I was taken back to my own wedding. I remember when the chapel doors opened up and I saw my bride in her dress for the first time. I cried. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I experienced a range of emotions in that moment: She looked beautiful, She was about to be mine, We were declaring our love to the world, We were promising to be together always, and so much more. The emotions rushed back at me as I remembered my bride, who also looked like a princess. She is more beautiful now as my Queen.

I am grateful for the perspective of my son. Seeing the world through his eyes is a privilege that I cherish. He saw a princess yesterday. I thought about my own. It was a very good day.

 

 

You should love your children, but not worship them.

~ David Willis ~ 1 Comment

I heard a very wise man say this. Someone had asked him what was one of the most important lessons he could share about how he raised his kids. He smiled and spoke those words. You should love your children, but not worship them. The message in that sentence is profound.

The end goal of parenting is to raise a child up to be a fully functioning, productive member of society. Well, that is what the goal should be and once was. It is not that way anymore for many. It seems these days that many people’s goal is to survive parenting by catering to the child’s every want. Notice I didn’t say need.

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You know the kids I am talking about. They seem normal for a bit, but you notice that they are catered to. They are coddled. If the parent should dare to say no the child throws a fit to get their way and regain control. They are unruly and undisciplined. They may be good kids at heart, but it is hard to tell because there is so much chaos going on.

Then, you come across what seem to be miracle children. They are healthy and happy. They are respectful. They know how to say thank you and please. They get in trouble from time to time, but are eager to do good and be good. How is this possible? The parents love their children enough to teach them how they need to behave.

How could this be love though? Doesn’t love want them to have what they want? Doesn’t it want them to be happy all the time? No. Not really. Not all the time. Love wants to take care of their needs. It wants them to be healthy and well rounded people and guides them away from self destructive paths. Love doesn’t want to see them hurt, but knows that sometimes they must hurt to learn. Love knows they have to fail sometimes to really appreciate the view when they breakthrough and reach the top.

Recently my son, Trey, has gotten into the Pixar movie The Incredibles. There are tons of great lines buired in that film. One that stuck out to me happened when Mr and Mrs Incredible got into an argument over their son’s activities at school. She said, “You don’t even want to go to your own son’s graduation.” Mr Incredible replied, “He’s moving from the third grade to the fourth grade. This is psychotic. They keep thinking up new ways to celebrate mediocrity.”

In an effort to keep children from feeling bad, many people celebrate things that should not be celebrated. I have no idea if a third grade graduation is a good thing or not. However, I do know that by celebrating mediocrity you have a hard time encouraging excellence. If you tell a kid they are doing a good job when they’re really not, how is this productive? I’m not sure that it is.

Make no mistake, I love my son. He is one of the reasons that I get up and do everything I do during the day. There’s nothing better to hear that little boy laugh, see him smile, or have him run to me for a hug. I love it.

I want to give him every opportunity in life to succeed. And if that means I have to disappoint him by not giving him everything he may want, but giving him what he needs, I am going to. I have no doubt he will get many things that he wants, because they will be good things. He will know his daddy loves him, but he will also know that life is about more than just him.

There is always hope.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

I have been reading back through some things I wrote a few years ago. I ran across this and wanted to share it. It is a piece about what happens when we find hope. I spent a lot of years with it diminished. It was just starting to find its way back as I penned these words:

Finding hope

Hope makes the heart tingle. It energizes as it moves in.

It makes its way across the body and it spreads throughout your limbs.

Lungs that were dusty breathe in fresh and deep. Your brain waves start moving as the giant awakes from its sleep.

Purpose can now be viewed and destiny is not far behind. The eyes of your soul are no longer blind.

So breath in the air and bask in the warmth of the sun. Your future is calling. Your winter is done.

What started as a spark has fanned into a flame. Your purpose has remade you and you have a new name.

A body that was useless has found its glory once again. Hope has brought life to the future of the man.


We all go through times where it seems we have little hope of finding better days. I have felt like this many times. I am reminded of a scene from the movie The Two Towers. The Battle of Helms Deep is about to begin. A young man looks at Aragorn and says this: “The men are saying that we will not live out the night. They say that it is hopeless.” Aragorn asks the boy for his sword. He examines it. He tells the boy, “This is a good sword.” And then he speaks profound words. “There is always hope.” In the next scene Aragorn’s words are fulfilled as an army of Elves comes to Rohan’s aid. They survive the battle. They ultimately win the way. There is always hope.

Do things seem bleak now? Are you in a job you hate? Are you in a relationship that you want to get better, but don’t know how it will? Do things seem desperate? I say to you what Aragorn said. There is hope. I didn’t see it all the time years ago, but it was there and a better day came.

When the wind blows.

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

There are thunderstorms in Oklahoma this evening. They have been here on and off for a few days. I saw more lightning in the sky the other evening than I have seen in a long time. It looked like God was putting on a firework show. It rained and rained and the wind blew, but we were no worse for the storm. Not all storms are like this in Oklahoma. With many Oklahoma storms come tornadoes and severe damage.

I remember the big tornado that hit south of Oklahoma City in May of 1999. It was categorized as a F5, which is only one step below the worst classification. The winds in a F5 blow 261 – 318 miles per hour. It was nearly a mile wide. It devastated much in south Oklahoma City and surrounding communities. I was saddened by the loss of life that happened that day and grateful that none of the ones I loved were in the path of the storm. They almost were, but not quite.

Marixa and I had been married for four months at the time. My mom and dad were coming up to the city to see us from southeast Oklahoma. I remember they called me and asked if  they needed to pick up dinner, or if we were going to eat when they arrived. Marixa and I had just finished, so they decided to stop for a bite to eat. Turns out that was a very good thing. When they got to the city my dad told me they were about five minutes south of the tornado when it hit. They might have been in the middle of all of it had they come north a little quicker. I am glad they stopped to eat.

I knew others who barely missed having their homes destroyed. Some who were not as fortunate. The wind blew harder that day than it has on any day since in Oklahoma. I am amazed at the strength and resolve of my friends and neighbors. They took an awful shot from the weather, but did not fold. The city drew together. People helped each other. The community healed. You drive through the affected areas and you might never know what had occurred there 12 years previous.

What do you do when the wind blows? There are times in life where we are tossed and thrown and don’t know if we will ever see safety again. Do you go the storm alone? Or do you pull together and weather it? In many cases the aftermath of the storm is devestating, but you can weather it. It may take time, but things can and will get better.


There is nothing like coming home.

~ David Willis ~ 2 Comments

I have been out of town a lot over the last couple of weeks. Weekend before last I had a conference to attend and Marixa and Trey came and stayed at the hotel with me. They didn’t see me very much over Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but I was glad that they were there. Traveling is always better when they are with me. Last Thursday I had conference in Houston to go to. Went there and back the same day. It was a long day of travel. All of that said…there is nothing quite like coming home.

You know the feeling I am talking about, right? You get home after a long trip, or a long day, and you feel the stress and the day fade out. You can finally relax. You sink into your recliner, or into your own bed and the world is right if just for a few hours. I hope you have that feeling when you go home. I am thankful I have that atmosphere in mine.

I have been like this as long as I can remember. One time, many years ago, I spent a Christmas vacation with a friend of mine from high school. We lived in a small town in southeast Oklahoma and drove (with his family) to a little town in Arizona. It was a fun trip. I remember having a great time. I also remember being very homesick. It was Christmas time and I was not home with my parents. I enjoyed the trip. I also enjoyed getting back home to my family and my space. (It was also awesome because my parents remodeled my room while I was gone. Still one of my favorite teenage memories coming home to my own new cool room. Thanks again mom and dad!) That room was my home base.

A few years later (1998) I spent a summer singing at a youth camp. We were gone around the 25th of May through the 1st of August. I thought I knew what homesick was, but I learned a new definition that summer. I had a couple of small breaks and as good luck would have it I started dating a beautiful lady over my first break. I quickly discovered that my insides could be twisted in ways that I had never known. I had a new definition of home by that summer’s end. It was wherever she was. Still is.

Fast forward 13 years. Coming home is more awesome still. I get home after work and there is this amazing little guy ready to spend time with me. He wants to show me what he has done. He wants me to play games. He gives me hugs and calls me Daddy. I have discovered  that my insides can be twisted differently still. I never knew drawing letters in chalk on the back porch would bring me joy, but it does. I love it. I love him with all of my heart. There is no place like home.

I have discovered that my life works in a rhythm. I have to have times of hard work where I can put my skills to the test. I have to have times of adventure and exploration. I have to make a contribution. To balance these times, I have to have time at home and time with the family that I love. Times of rest. Time to regain focus. I am sure you need something like this too.

What is coming home like for you?