I feel it. I turned 40 last year and I feel it. My body hurts a bit more than it used to. I need more sleep than I did a few years ago. Remembering is harder because there is a lot of years to sift back through.

A while back I started writing down memories on 3×5 cards to start sorting out the major, or memorable events in my life. By the time I got through the exercise I had a stack of cards filled out, and still had plenty left to go. It has been a useful exercise though because the more I write down the more memories are coming back.

For instance, I wrote a post not long ago about my 1984 Pontiac Bonneville. After I wrote that post another memory came back to me of the adventures in that car. I pulled up one day in front of friends house in the car. Her dad was a photographer and had taken my senior pics. I stopped by to preview them.

After I pulled up in the driveway a large explosion went off and I hurriedly ducked down. What had that sound been?! It sounded like a shotgun. After a few seconds I surveyed the surroundings and didn’t see anyone. I slowly got out of the car to investigate. I was cautious and soon made a discovery…one of my tires had exploded. The lesson I learned? Don’t drive on gravel with bald tires.

Some of the note cards I wrote are about specific events. Others have been about jobs that I had when I was younger. I have worked all kinds of jobs, but one of the most interesting and at the same time not so great jobs I ever had was working as an insurance claims office manager.

I learned very quickly when dealing with people and their money, or the prospect of them receiving money, folks can lose their minds and manners in a hurry. I had been on the job less than a month when a grain harvester guy called inquiring about “his check”. The question he asked me was something along the lines of…”Son, I need to know where my check is and I need to know now!” I told him he would need to speak with my manager. He told me that I was full of bovine feces and needed to get him his check. Yeah. Real conversation. I am happy to report it was several more weeks before he got anything.

Another good memory is when I got the job offer that led me away from the insurance office. Now, you have to understand that the office I worked in smelled like a cigar lounge. The president of the company smoked 6 cigars a day while sitting 10 feet from my desk. I smelled like an ash tray at all times. Marixa made me shower every day when I got home before she would even kiss me. So, when the job offer came in I told the hiring manager I could start immediately if needed…right after I took a shower.

I have enjoyed the process of writing out the different memory cards. I do not want to forget anything. I am glad to know that the stories are still in there, even if it is taking a little more prying these days to get them out.

Do you have memories locked inside? Is it time to get them out?

The sound of the road echos on as the miles keep passing by and somehow you sleep so peacefully, and never blink an eye. This old road soothes you in a way nothing else can. It is not till you are out here that you can really understand

There is a better life waiting, more living in store, another road worth taking, an adventure to explore. All we gotta do is let the road go by and our worries and frustrations will fade away into a better life.

I think I see you stirring, your hair is sticking up there in the back. No, you don’t need to fix it. That is not where we are at. You have never looked as beautiful as you do tonight. You haven’t stopped smiling and can’t get that look out of your eyes

There is a better life waiting, more living in store, another road worth taking, an adventure to explore. All we gotta do is let the road go by and our worries and frustrations will fade away into a better life.

So baby kiss me while we are dreaming with our eyes open wide and let’s enjoy each other as the miles fly by.

There is a better life waiting, more living in store, another road worth taking, an adventure to explore. All we gotta do is let the road go by and our worries and frustrations will fade away into a better life.

One Christmas story that I love is about an old man who has lost his way. At one time in his life he knew about what was valuable and why. Over time, he lost this and the important things in life took a back seat to one master passion, gain. In the end, he is shown the folly of his ways and he becomes reformed character. You know his name as well as I do: Ebenezer Scrooge.

One of the themes that I love most in the story is that you can be good in business and still be good to people. We see this contrasted in the characters of Scrooge and his former employer, Mr. Fezziwig.

At one point early in the story Scrooge threatens to relieve Mr. Cratchit, his employee, of his situation (fire him) if Cratchit takes any more coal to put in his fire. Remember, this story is set in December in London in the middle of the 1800s. With no fire to keep him warm, Mr Cratchit was working in a state of intense misery. With no more coal to put on his fire, he had only the light of a single candle to keep him warm. This is a vivid picture of the lack of concern that Scrooge felt for his employee. Making money was his sole focus.

As a young man Scrooge had it much better than Cratchit. Scrooge’s first employer was Mr. Fezziwig. We discover about Mr Fezziwig that he was a jolly man and a good man of business. He ran a profitable business and expected those who worked for him to work hard, but he was also kind to those who worked for him. He was everything that the older Scrooge was not. We see this in a conversation between the Ghost of Christmas Past and Scrooge:

   ‘A small matter,’ said the Ghost, ‘to make these silly folks so full of gratitude.’

   ‘Small!’ echoed Scrooge.

   The Spirit signed to him to listen to the two apprentices, who were pouring out their hearts in praise of Fezziwig: and when he had done so, said,

   ‘Why! Is it not? He has spent but a few pounds of your mortal money: three or four perhaps. Is that so much that he deserves this praise?’

   ‘It isn’t that,’ said Scrooge, heated by the remark, and speaking unconsciously like his former, not his latter, self. ‘It isn’t that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count them up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.’

Fezziwig was not only good at business. He was good to people. That made him truly successful. The beauty of the story is that Scrooge becomes like his old employer, and even better:

   Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him……it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.

What does this mean for the world today? Working hard and earning a profit from it is an honorable undertaking, when done honestly. Providing for ourselves, our families, and others would not be possible without it. We must remember to apply the lessons that Scrooge learned. We should be good to those that we work with and those who work for us. We should show kindness to those in need, for one day we may be in need of kindness. What better time than Christmas to start practicing it?

I consider myself a creative guy. I like to write. I like to sing. I love public speaking. Being creative in these ways feels right…and is crazy hard half the time too. So, while I have always considered myself creative, I have not consistently created over the years. There is a definite difference.

This difference was really brought to light for me through a book I just finished called Creative Calling. It is by photographer/entrepreneur Chase Jarvis. In the book he details how he went from following a very traditional path of playing college sports and going to med school, to giving it all up after his grandfather passed away to pursue being a photographer.

To say the book was inspiring would be an understatement. It was like the guy was reading all of my mail and my excuses and telling me to get past my bologna and create anyway. The writing that has appeared in this blog for the last three weeks is me pushing the processed meat aside and following the instructions I have been given.

At one point I believe I read this: we are what we do, not what we say we are going to do. I had to wrestle with that one. I know that I can talk a good game. I have to admit that I have talked a lot over the years, but haven’t really followed through. I have great intentions, but…we know where intentions go.

In the book he offers encouragement and guidance to help get past what I have described above. In that encouragement he even said start small. I can do something creative every day. Even if it is just writing one sentence, singing a few lines of one of my songs, or working on my next speech project. I can do something every day. You can too.

Are you creative? Yes. You are. We are human and by nature are all creative in some way. It just had to be cultivated. It may not come natural, but it is a muscle that can be built. I am all in on the journey to being my best creative self. I hope you will join me…and check out the book too. It was good stuff.

I remember where I was when I said it. Summer camp. 1992. Cry night. “I don’t care what you all think about me,” I said to the group at large. “I believe in myself. I am going to be somebody.”

For the life of me I don’t know why I needed to announce that to our cabin. I guess I felt the chip on my shoulder of not being popular or not being understood or whatever adolescent thing I was going through at the time. I do know the feeling was very real. From some reason it still drives me today.

I’ve actually had the strange realization lately that many of the snapshots I have in my mind are from this period of my life. They seem to be the memories that I can pull up with ease and examine. This one sticks out to me though. It was also the same church camp trip where I drank a bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce…we don’t need to relive that.

What does it mean to be somebody? Again, who knows why I felt the need to make the bold prediction, but I have to ask myself if I have lived up to it? Have I made something of myself? Are there more questions that I haven’t answered?

I will do my best to answer this in a few concrete ways. Yes. I am somebody. I am a child of God. I am a husband and father. I am a son and brother. I am a friend. I have a career that I love. I am respected for the work I do. I like who I see when I look in the mirror.

Did I know in 1992 the above would be my “Be Somebody” definition? No. I probably thought it had to do with being rich or famous. It doesn’t. It has to do with being myself and being ok with it. I had no way to understand the reality that this is all a journey toward being your best, authentic self. There is no arrival point. While we are breathing there is still opportunity to be more and do more than we are now.

Here I am, it is 27 years later. I still want to be somebody when I grow up. I am still striving. I still want to grow. The difference between them and now? I know I am somebody, but I understand it isn’t enough. I have to keep going. I have to keep growing. I also know I was somebody then too. Just a lot earlier in the journey.

Where are you in this journey? Don’t give up. Keep moving forward. Keep asking the questions. One day you will be light years from here, looking back with a smile on how far you’ve come.