7-40 Challenge | Round 4, Day 32
Before you say anything — to your spouse, your team, your AI — there’s a question worth answering first: why are you opening your mouth?
Are you trying to understand something? Are you trying to be understood? Are you trying to win? Are you trying to find the truth? The answer changes everything that comes after it.
I’ve watched the same conversation go two completely different directions depending on intent. When I walk into a discussion at work trying to prove I’m right, I stop listening the moment someone pushes back. The conversation becomes a contest. The outcome is whoever talks louder or gives up first.
When I walk in trying to find the right answer — even if it means I was wrong — something different happens. I ask better questions. I actually hear the responses. The pushback becomes useful instead of threatening. And the outcome is usually better than what either side walked in with.
Same people. Same room. Same topic. Different intent.
This is just as true when I sit down with AI. If my intent is to get the machine to confirm what I already believe, I’ll frame my questions to lead it there — and it’ll oblige, because that’s what it does. I’ll walk away feeling validated and potentially dead wrong.
If my intent is to find the truth, I ask differently. I challenge what comes back. I say “push back on this” and mean it. I hand over my assumptions and ask the AI to break them. The conversation is harder. The results are better.
Intent is the cornerstone. Not the last thing you think about — the first. If the intent is wrong, every communication skill you have just becomes a sharper tool for manipulation. If the intent is right, even clumsy communication has a chance of getting somewhere real.
David Willis 