I have found that some of the best conversations that I have had are because I was trying to show an act of kindness to the other person. If someone can sense that you care, they are much more willing to open up into conversation. They will definitely be glad that you talked to them.
I went through the line of a restaurant at lunch a couple of days ago. The lady running the register looked like she had had a rough day. You know the look I am referring to. She had had it rough and needed a break. As I got to the counter, she covered her mouth and let out a big yawn. I could tell that this would be a good opportunity to make her smile.
As she looked back at me, I smiled from ear to ear and said, "It is only noon. You must have started early and haven't caught a break." She smiled back at me. Her spirit lifted just a bit. What I said was not spectacular, but it was purposeful. I validated that she was a hard worker and that she had been doing her job. Someone had noticed. Someone cared. By smiling at her and showing her sincerity, I filled a need that she had.
So, the question is: When you talk to people, what do they need? It may be a laugh. It may be encouragement. They may just need someone else to acknowledge that they are there and important enough to speak to. People all around us need our contact. Practice it and let it become second nature.
I don't walk around all the time looking to have random conversation. However, I do want to know this about folks: what do they need? I do want the best for people. Because of that, I try my best to be a good conversationalist. If in the discussion I hear of a need. I want to help. If I fill a need they have, good.
David Willis 