It seems the older I get the faster time passes. You know what I mean don’t you? We get through the weekend and it is Monday again, and then before you know it the week is gone and so is the next weekend. There have been times of late it seems like every time I take a breath a few months have gone by. Has it always been this way? Or am I just noticing it more now? I think I am just noticing it more. The reason? My boy is growing up in front of my eyes.

I grew up in a little town in southeast Oklahoma. I moved there when I was in the seventh grade and I stayed through my first year of college. By then, like most teenagers in a small town, I had the bug to go to college away from home. So, I got a scholarship to go sing and I packed up and moved to the Oklahoma City area. That was 23 years ago.

When I got to school I was given the opportunity to be a part of a semi-professional choir. There were a bunch of people far more talented than me, so I did my best to blend in and help make good music. I sang with the choir for a semester. I remember the first practice well. I got very lost in the big city and almost didn’t find the practice site.

I had been to the rehearsal hall (a church in northwest Oklahoma City) only once before. It was about 15 miles from the school, but I figured I had been there and I could get back. I didn’t plan for the sun going down. The city looked very different after dark!

I remember feeling panicked. I was the new guy. I was going to be late. It was going to be embarassing. Fortunately, after overshooting the church by a few miles, I doubled back and by chance found it just in time. There are still parts of town that I drive through and get flashbacks of being lost. It makes me laugh.

Fast forward 14 years. I had just moved office buildings at work. Where was my new office building? Right across from the old church. It hit me walking across the parking lot the day I moved into my office. (I had one of those Disney World “its a small world” moments.) For a second, walking across that parking lot, I remembered being a 19 year old kid. I felt far from home. Unsure of myself. Even a bit scared. Thankfully, the feeling passed quickly.

I moved out of Oklahoma 3 1/2 years ago, but I am back in OKC this evening. It is not often that I can compare then and now so clearly. I saw it clearly today though. The course I was on at 19 would not be my lifelong choice. Thankfully, it didn’t have to be. Many people assume they are stuck with the career path they chose for their major in college. It doesn’t have to be that way. thought I was going to be a music teacher and/or a performer. My life is very different now.

I am glad that one chapter of your life doesn’t have to dictate how all of the others go. The story can change. Different decisions can be made. The course can be altered. It starts with one decision.

For some reason when I came back to OKC today, I remembered the little church and thought how far I have come. I never would have imagined I would be here 23 years later, coming back from a different state to see family…living a much different life than I ever thought. It was good to remember all that went on then. It was awesome to remember the path that I have been on. It is even better to know that I am right where I need to be now. I like that.

I have been running into a common theme lately: Leadership is not all about what you (as the leader) may want. Leadership is not about always getting your way. It is about casting a vision in front of people and then working with them to take your initial vision and turn it into something that everyone can take ownership in. Leadership is about seeing the next place you need to go as a group, and then having everyone get there together.

What do I mean? If I come to you with an idea that I have and ask for your help, but don’t allow you to have any input, will you be invested in the outcome of my idea? Not really. You would simply be helping me with one of my crazy ideas, and upon its completion would have very little lasting impact in your life.

Now, take the same scenario and tweak it a little bit. I have an idea that I bring to you. I tell you what I am wanting to do with it. I ask for your help, your advice, and your active input. You are excited about the idea and want to become a part. My idea has now become our idea. We work on it together. When we are finished, I doubt that it looks much like what I initially brought to you. The idea has changed…many times for the better.

Many years ago I worked in a small church setting. I was a youth pastor with a lot of energy and self proclaimed “brilliant” ideas. I did not understand the principle I have described above. I believed it was my responsibility to tell everyone else what we needed to be doing. What did I get in return? Leaders who did not know where we were going, or trust that I could get them there.

I was too arrogant to admit that I didn’t know where we were going. I was the leader. I was going to get us there. Wherever there was. Had I joined with them and gave up the need to have things my way, who knows the good things we would have been able to accomplish together? It was a missed opportunity, but a step in my education of what leadership is.

Fast forward twenty years. I am in a leadership role with a business group that I am associated with. I believe in the mission and purpose of the organization. I believe what in what we stand for. I feel the need to lead. However, I don’t feel the need to always have my way. I am eager to meet with people and hear their vision about what we are doing.

As the group’s leader, I want to share my vision and then work with them to get to a place that was better than any of us intended when we began. I want the organization to be better after my time as a leader is gone. I want others to want to step in and take the vision ever further. If I can accomplish this, I will feel like I have done what I am supposed to.

Verse 1

I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror at the lady staring back at you. Is it your past? Or your failures? The things you did or didn’t do? Let me tell you what I see when I look at you.

Chorus

I see the love of my life. I see the girl that I still choose to be my wife. I see the friend who, through all the years, has walked with me through happy times and tears. I see the love.

Verse 2

How I wish you could see through my eyes! Then I’d know exactly what you see. When you look you see a maiden…when I look I see my queen. I swear you get more beautiful with every passing day. Let the time go by. I will always feel this way.

Chorus

I see the love of my life. I see the girl that I still choose to be my wife. I see the friend who, through all the years, has walked with me through happy times and tears. That’s just what see baby when you look at me. I see the love.

Bridge

I swear you get more beautiful with every passing day. Let the time go by. I will always feel this way.

Chorus

I see the love of my life. I see the girl that I still choose to be my wife. I see the friend who, through all the years, has walked with me through happy times and tears. I see the love.

At the beginning of this year I started a new reading plan in my Bible. The challenge is to read the entire Bible through in a year. I have done this before, but it was time to dive in again. I find that every time I reread it something new and unexpected pops out. This time through is proving to be the same.

I am currently in the book of Job. For those of you not familiar with him (pronounced Jobe…has nothing to do with working 9-5), Job is one of the oldest books of the Bible. It is a story about a man who has everything, but at the same time is a very good man who follows God very closely. He then has everything taken away, yet he still chooses to follow God. He airs a lot of frustrations in the process, but he does it without cursing his maker. By the end of the book, Job is restored and life is good again. My summation is seriously understated, but give it a read. It is worth the time.

One of the things that sticks out to me is the group of friends that gather around Job during his time of morning. They see him from a far off. They see his desolation. The tear their own clothes as a sign of mourning. Then…the proceed for many chapters to tell Job he must be a terrible guy and he needs to admit all of the bad stuff he did. Their reasoning? It was obvious to them that God must be punishing him for all the wicked things that he had been doing. Job must be a no good, low down, scum bag that was getting his just rewards. Seriously, if these guys were friends…I would hate to see what his enemies looked like.

When I read the Bible I often wonder why certain stories are in there. I believe it is all there for a reason that God intended. The story of Job is no different. I would like to examine one reason that strikes me: Job’s friends were self righteous windbags. I should not be one.

What do we do when we see people hurting? If we are a good friend, we go to them. We show them love. We comfort them. We feed them. If need be, we sit down in the dirt with them and hurt with them. We lift them up. We walk with them always. We don’t let them be alone in their struggle.

I have some very good friends that are just like this. When I was in the dirt, they were there with me. When I was at my lowest points, they were there. They loved me. They took care of me. They have walked and will walk with me. I will do the same for them.

Then, there are the other folks. People you thought you could count on. The ones, like Job’s friends, who loved to point out your failures and tell you how awful you are. They may never have said it in so many words, but their actions spoke clearly what they thought of you. I have known quite a few like this.

I choose to be the good friend. Life is too short to be the other kind of person. I leave this post with a verse that made me laugh out loud. Job had just been verbally assaulted by one of his “Friends”. He looked at them and responded:

“Won’t you ever stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep on talking?” Job‬ ‭16:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬