I made a discovery early in life. It is one that I want to share with you today. It is called learning vicariously. Now we have all heard of people that live vicariously through the experiences of others. Maybe you want to go to the beach, but don’t have the money. You might listen to the stories of a friend that went and imagine yourself there. Or perhaps you always wanted to be a great athlete, but never had the coordination. Watching football on the weekends or staying up late for NBA games may be your way to still get a piece of what you wanted.

Just like many people live vicariously through the actions of others, I have found that I can learn vicariously and not make the same mistakes others have. I would like to share with you today some of the mistakes I have observed and how I learned from it.

First, I learned very early how important it is to show mom and dad respect. My brother gave me a shining example of what not to do one fateful day in 1983. I remember parts of it, but have been told the story many times and have filled in the gaps. My brother made less than wise choices and had to live with consequences.

Next, be aware of who you are with and what they are selling. I was reading a book called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. In it he told a story of a housewife that developed a gambling problem that took her from her local casino, to multiple trips to vegas and eventually to bankruptcy. What stuck out about the story is this: everyone around her had a plan, she didn’t. In reading this book I was amazed at how quickly she fell into the marketing traps of the casino.

No matter where you may find yourself at this point in your life, I want remind you of something: you were born to do great things. You may say “who? Me?” and I would answer, yes. You. No one that has ever lived had been exactly like you. You are unique. Because of this there are things that you can do that noone else can. People you can help. There is a difference you can make. Choose today to believe it.

Do it. Do great things.

The really good stories have to be read more than once. That is what makes them really good stories. They’re full of depth and imagination. It’s impossible to catch everything on the first time through. I think the writers intended that way. They want you to come back and visit them again and again. To discover new layers that you didn’t notice before. To really become a part of the world that they have created.

I have experienced this first hand with my favorite deities of books: the Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis. I have these books on audio. I have listened to each one more than 100 times. They are read by some the most amazing vocal actors there are. The first time through the books you spend just listening to the story. The next time or the next few times you listen or read, you start to pick up on all of the nuances of the story. You notice all the little things that they put in to entice you and move the story along. The world that they’ve created starts to come alive because you know the story and now you can pay close attention to the details.

I’ve also read books were the details of the story feel forced. It’s hard enough to get through the book the first time much less to pick it up again. The characters don’t act as they should. The plot turns and twists in ways that are unnatural. The world that the author creates isn’t enticing at all. How these books get published is a mystery. How people make it to the end of them is a greater mystery.

Do you agree? What books are you in love with? Which ones have you read over and over?

I was in the store not long ago looking around. There was a man there with his children. Every couple of seconds he would tell them in a loud voice, “Put that down! We are not here to look at that!” He would then browse on and his kids would pick up something else. He yelled the same thing to them. Over and over he felt the need to belittle his children in public. THe kids were being kids. They were not loud. They were not disruptive. They were just touching stuff. Unimportant stuff at that.

It makes me wonder, if he is like that in a store with people around, what is he like with them when no one is watching? Most people put on a good front in public, not this guy. Strangely enough his kids seemed mostly unfazed by it. This leads me to think that they ignore him, until they can’t anymore. THey ignore until he gets so loud and obnoxious that they have to conform.

It has made me think. I do not want to cast stones if I am guilty of the same things. Who am I when no one is watching? Am I worthy of my son’s respect? I know this…I strive to be.

Could 5 bucks really have prevented this?

We have had a leak in our bathroom for a little while now. I have kept it maintained and there hasn’t been any lasting damage, but I put off really finding out what the problem was until this morning. The solution? A 5 dollar part.

Fortunately this was a small drip and not a major issue? But, how many other things in life do we ignore only later to find out that major damage has been done because we didn’t address the issue when it was a five dollar problem?

I can think of many other examples of this. Addressing a cavity early prevents a root canal later. Frequent oil changes will prolong the life of the motor and prevent early breakdown. Apologizing and making things right today will keep a marriage far way from divorce later.

Moral of the story? Fix it while it is small and prevent a huge flood in the bathroom later.