Have you ever been stuck in a dead end job? Stuck in an environment you don’t like, around people you wouldn’t choose to be with, doing work that sucks your soul out slowly day after day? I know what this is like. It is the life I lived for several years. I was miserable. I was comfortable in my misery. It was awful. 

I used to come home from work and think, “Now I can live my life. Now I can be me.” But, as it always does, morning would come again and I would be off to do the responsible thing…paying bills is a good thing to do. At the end of each day I would lay down in bed and dream of winning the lottery, or striking it rich some other way, so I could get away from having to work…which I was sure was the problem. 

Somewhere in the midst of the misery though, I came in contact with a different current of thought. Maybe I didn’t have to be comfortably miserable. Maybe there really was a way to break out of the cage that I had found myself in.  I started to believe that things could change.

When I was 5 years old I wanted to be a policeman just like my dad. Just like most other boys I knew, my dad was my hero and I wanted to be just like him. He was the toughest, coolest, most awesome policeman I knew. That sounded like the job for me. So, imagine my surprise when I grew up and low and behold I didn’t want to become a policeman. And my further surprise, when I realized I worked in a job I hated, and didn’t know how to get out. This was not the future I had envisioned. What happened to being just like my dad? What happened to following in his noble footsteps? How did I find myself at a job I hated with no way out?

I realized that the path I was on wasn’t one anyone else had walked. There is only one me. The path that I have to take is my own. So, I decided that I would lean in and do the best I could in that dead end job…even if I didn’t like the work or who I worked for.

Where did that take me? Immediately I took back my sense of control. When you are in control you are no longer a victim to circumstance or whatever else. I was only controlling my own attitude and the quality of the work I was doing, but it was a start. It helped tremendously. My attitude and my environment improved. When the time came and a new opportunity presented itself, I was ready.

Had I not had that epiphany, I may have stayed comfortably miserable in that same job. I may not have gotten the call for my next job. I may not be where I am today if not for that moment of choosing to do my best where I was. Who knows?

Do you identify with this? Are you happy with the work you do? Are you just getting by? Make the decision today. Take control of you. Walk the path that only you can walk. I don’t know where it will lead…but is there a chance it could be better than where you are now?

Verse 1

I am staring at the hour glass and the sands slip right through and the minutes turn to hours that I’m here without you. The more that I stare the more time gets away, you didn’t want me to go, but I knew I couldn’t stay

Chorus

I am not the man you need, though that is all I want to be, and the harder that I try, the more clearly I see, God had something better in mind when he created you, you deserve so much more, so this old cowboy just won’t do

Verse 2

So I have packed up all my things, except that shirt you love, the one you took from me the night we couldn’t get enough There are so many things I wish I could change, but know I won’t be able to. A woman like you deserves so much more than my denim and my boots.

Chorus

I am not the man you need, though that is all I want to be, and the harder that I try, the more clearly I see, God had something better in mind when he created you, you deserve so much more, so this old cowboy just won’t do

Verse 3

I take one last look in my rearview and our place shrinks out of sight, and a part of me fades into the night. Maybe in another lifetime we will have our chance again, maybe by then I will be a better man

Chorus

I am not the man you need, though that is all I want to be, and the harder that I try, the more clearly I see, God had something better in mind when he created you, you deserve so much more, so this old cowboy just won’t do

I feel it. I turned 40 last year and I feel it. My body hurts a bit more than it used to. I need more sleep than I did a few years ago. Remembering is harder because there is a lot of years to sift back through.

A while back I started writing down memories on 3×5 cards to start sorting out the major, or memorable events in my life. By the time I got through the exercise I had a stack of cards filled out, and still had plenty left to go. It has been a useful exercise though because the more I write down the more memories are coming back.

For instance, I wrote a post not long ago about my 1984 Pontiac Bonneville. After I wrote that post another memory came back to me of the adventures in that car. I pulled up one day in front of friends house in the car. Her dad was a photographer and had taken my senior pics. I stopped by to preview them.

After I pulled up in the driveway a large explosion went off and I hurriedly ducked down. What had that sound been?! It sounded like a shotgun. After a few seconds I surveyed the surroundings and didn’t see anyone. I slowly got out of the car to investigate. I was cautious and soon made a discovery…one of my tires had exploded. The lesson I learned? Don’t drive on gravel with bald tires.

Some of the note cards I wrote are about specific events. Others have been about jobs that I had when I was younger. I have worked all kinds of jobs, but one of the most interesting and at the same time not so great jobs I ever had was working as an insurance claims office manager.

I learned very quickly when dealing with people and their money, or the prospect of them receiving money, folks can lose their minds and manners in a hurry. I had been on the job less than a month when a grain harvester guy called inquiring about “his check”. The question he asked me was something along the lines of…”Son, I need to know where my check is and I need to know now!” I told him he would need to speak with my manager. He told me that I was full of bovine feces and needed to get him his check. Yeah. Real conversation. I am happy to report it was several more weeks before he got anything.

Another good memory is when I got the job offer that led me away from the insurance office. Now, you have to understand that the office I worked in smelled like a cigar lounge. The president of the company smoked 6 cigars a day while sitting 10 feet from my desk. I smelled like an ash tray at all times. Marixa made me shower every day when I got home before she would even kiss me. So, when the job offer came in I told the hiring manager I could start immediately if needed…right after I took a shower.

I have enjoyed the process of writing out the different memory cards. I do not want to forget anything. I am glad to know that the stories are still in there, even if it is taking a little more prying these days to get them out.

Do you have memories locked inside? Is it time to get them out?

The sound of the road echos on as the miles keep passing by and somehow you sleep so peacefully, and never blink an eye. This old road soothes you in a way nothing else can. It is not till you are out here that you can really understand

There is a better life waiting, more living in store, another road worth taking, an adventure to explore. All we gotta do is let the road go by and our worries and frustrations will fade away into a better life.

I think I see you stirring, your hair is sticking up there in the back. No, you don’t need to fix it. That is not where we are at. You have never looked as beautiful as you do tonight. You haven’t stopped smiling and can’t get that look out of your eyes

There is a better life waiting, more living in store, another road worth taking, an adventure to explore. All we gotta do is let the road go by and our worries and frustrations will fade away into a better life.

So baby kiss me while we are dreaming with our eyes open wide and let’s enjoy each other as the miles fly by.

There is a better life waiting, more living in store, another road worth taking, an adventure to explore. All we gotta do is let the road go by and our worries and frustrations will fade away into a better life.

One Christmas story that I love is about an old man who has lost his way. At one time in his life he knew about what was valuable and why. Over time, he lost this and the important things in life took a back seat to one master passion, gain. In the end, he is shown the folly of his ways and he becomes reformed character. You know his name as well as I do: Ebenezer Scrooge.

One of the themes that I love most in the story is that you can be good in business and still be good to people. We see this contrasted in the characters of Scrooge and his former employer, Mr. Fezziwig.

At one point early in the story Scrooge threatens to relieve Mr. Cratchit, his employee, of his situation (fire him) if Cratchit takes any more coal to put in his fire. Remember, this story is set in December in London in the middle of the 1800s. With no fire to keep him warm, Mr Cratchit was working in a state of intense misery. With no more coal to put on his fire, he had only the light of a single candle to keep him warm. This is a vivid picture of the lack of concern that Scrooge felt for his employee. Making money was his sole focus.

As a young man Scrooge had it much better than Cratchit. Scrooge’s first employer was Mr. Fezziwig. We discover about Mr Fezziwig that he was a jolly man and a good man of business. He ran a profitable business and expected those who worked for him to work hard, but he was also kind to those who worked for him. He was everything that the older Scrooge was not. We see this in a conversation between the Ghost of Christmas Past and Scrooge:

   ‘A small matter,’ said the Ghost, ‘to make these silly folks so full of gratitude.’

   ‘Small!’ echoed Scrooge.

   The Spirit signed to him to listen to the two apprentices, who were pouring out their hearts in praise of Fezziwig: and when he had done so, said,

   ‘Why! Is it not? He has spent but a few pounds of your mortal money: three or four perhaps. Is that so much that he deserves this praise?’

   ‘It isn’t that,’ said Scrooge, heated by the remark, and speaking unconsciously like his former, not his latter, self. ‘It isn’t that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count them up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.’

Fezziwig was not only good at business. He was good to people. That made him truly successful. The beauty of the story is that Scrooge becomes like his old employer, and even better:

   Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him……it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.

What does this mean for the world today? Working hard and earning a profit from it is an honorable undertaking, when done honestly. Providing for ourselves, our families, and others would not be possible without it. We must remember to apply the lessons that Scrooge learned. We should be good to those that we work with and those who work for us. We should show kindness to those in need, for one day we may be in need of kindness. What better time than Christmas to start practicing it?