I co wrote this several years ago with a friend for her wedding. hope you enjoy.

Words and Music by Chelsea Kilburn and David Willis

Verse 1

For all of my life I have dreamed of finding a love that is true. I prayed for a friend to walk with me, to see me through. I have spent this whole life searching, just looking for you.

When I finally opened my eyes, and allowed myself to see. I found your right there waiting, patiently for me. You are more than I hoped for, better than my dream. I can’t believe this is happening to me

Chorus:

When I look into your eyes, I see what I can become. I see the future bright, knowing our hearts will beat as one. No, I don’t know what the future holds, but one thing I know that wherever this life may lead, together we will go

Verse 2

It is hard to explain the way I feel, to let you see inside. For there is a part of me that wants to run and hide. But your love comes and takes me by the hand. You calm my fears, you help me understand.

Love is patient, love is kind, and I know this is true. For everyday you show me in the things that you do. You wrap your arms around me and my doubt disappears. The whole world seems right when I have you near.

Chorus:

When I look into your eyes, I see what I can become. I see the future bright, knowing our hearts will beat as one. No, I don’t know what the future holds, but one thing I know. That wherever this life may lead, together we will go.

Bridge:

I want to love you for all of my life and show you the love that I feel inside.

Chorus:

When I look into your eyes, I see what I can become. I see the future bright, knowing our hearts will beat as one. No, I don’t know what the future holds, but one thing I know. That wherever this life may lead, together we will go.

Do you ever get the feeling that you have been sold a lie? That is exactly how I felt after I graduated college. I was proud and excited about this piece of paper that I was sold, knowing that it would ensure a better future for me. It did not take long to find out that those hopes were misplaced. I had my college degree, but where was the career that was supposed to follow it?

After many months of searching, nothing had turned up in my degree field. I was forced to take other jobs and I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I was discouraged. I was disappointed. Was there something more I needed to do? The answer inside me was a resounding YES! There had to be. There is something in college I had failed to do. The hard part was figuring it out and admitting it.

Now before I go any further, please understand I am not upset at the schools I attended. They sold a product that I willingly bought. I chose the degree field. I chose my course of study. I even chose where I would go to school. No it was not the University that was to blame for my plight. I believe they could have done more to help me along the way, but ultimately it was my fault.

 Was it really though? Was it my fault I had not found a job? Yes. Was it my fault that I had not had a true sense of direction? Yes. Was it my fault that I found myself in a season of doubt? Yes. It was my fault. I floated through every decision I had made up to that point and just assumed tat they were the right ones. After all, I was 18. You are supposed to choose what you want to do at 18 and stick to it for the rest of your life…right? In a word…no.

What was missing? There was something I hadn’t done. What was it that I had neglected to do while I was still in college? Or even before college? This is so simple that it is going to sound simple. I never sat down, got honest, and made a plan. Yep…I told you it would sound simple. I never sat down and thought through where my decisions would take me.

The crazy thing is I had these thoughts and feelings twenty years ago. I thought I was alone in my struggles. Yeah, right. I had to realize what so many others have had to figure out…a degree isn’t a guarantee of anything. Now more than ever, it is just a one of many tools that can help with your career, but there is so much more you have to have.

Thankfully, I finally started asking the right questions and eventually got to a career that I love. It didn’t come haphazardly though. I’ve had to keep my eyes open. I’ve had to keep learning. I’ve put in a ton of work. I had to realize that this was never a destination I was traveling to. It is a journey that I have to stay on.

If you ever find yourself asking, “OK, now what?” maybe it is time to sit down and figure out what the future needs to look like. Ultimately, it is up to you. That is scary and awesome all at the same time.

One of my favorite Christmas songs is the old Irving Berlin classic, White Christmas. We all know the song. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know… Did you know that the song has a verse before the famous chorus we are all used to? It does. The first time I saw the sheet music I thought, “Hey, what is this?”

The sun is shining, the grass is green, The orange and palm trees sway, 
There’s never been such a day in Beverly Hills L.A. 
But it’s December the twenty fourth,
And I am longing to be up north.

Strangely enough, the song made more sense to me after I saw those lyrics and I appreciate it more.

Why are we so fascinated with having a white Christmas? Here is my opinion: Snow is fresh, clean, and bright. When we wake up on Christmas morning and there is a fresh blanket of snow on the ground our world feels peaceful and calm. It gives us permission to stay in where it is warm and spend time with the ones we love…or to go out in the snow with them and play like we did when we were children. It brings a peace that is healing to the soul.

I have only experienced a few in my life. I live in Texas and it does snow here sometimes, but there is no guarantee for the last week of December or that any of the snow will stick. So, when it happens I feel very grateful. The Christmas days that it has been sunny and 60 degrees make me feel a sense of loss and longing. I too want to be up north, where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow.

I hope this Christmas day finds you in a place of peace and joy. If your Christmas is white, all the better.

This is adapted from Psalm 139. I love the thought that God made use unique in His own way.

Verse 1

You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You see me from a far off. You are acquainted with all of my ways. Not a word is on my tongue that You do not know completely. You hem me in behind and before, such knowledge is too wonderful for me.

Chorus

I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Fearfully. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works my heart knows full well.

Verse 2

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I go to escape Your sight? If I were to climb to the highest peak or dive to the lowest depth of night. If I take the wings of the morning or plunge into the depths of the sea…there Your hand, Your mighty right hand will be constantly there to guide me.

Chorus

I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Fearfully. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works my heart knows full well.

Bridge

So search me oh God and know my heart. Test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in your way everlasting. Lead me in your way everlasting.

Chorus

I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Fearfully. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works my heart knows full well.

Is it strange that I can say someone made an impact on my life and I can’t remember their name? Actually, it was so long ago that I barely remember the whole event, but the little bit that I do remember I find extremely impactful.

It was the 80s. I generally know what year, but I just know I was at a church camp. It must have been a kids camp. I am quite fuzzy on the location and even the church group which isn’t like me, but I am looking back over thirty years here so give me a break.

Up to this point in my life I had only hung around people that looked and acted like me. So, when I met Billy (no this isn’t his name, but like I said I don’t remember it) I have to admit he wasn’t like what I expected. You see, Billy was paralyzed from the waist down and spent all of his time in a wheel chair.

The cool thing is I remember hanging around with Billy. He was a cool dude. We enjoyed each other’s company. I remember that he had an awesome sense of humor. He also had really strong arms from wheeling himself around. After the initial shock of him being a little different, we just had a good time at camp.

One night of camp I remember Billy asking me if I wanted to get a soda. I didn’t have any money. He smiled and told me not to worry. He had money and he was willing to share. We had a soda and enjoyed the events of the evening.

Now, to the impact he made on me. I remember very clearly that Billy was not a prisoner in his wheel chair. His circumstances were not ideal, but his attitude, even at that age, was far ahead of most of the folks around us. I remember clearly that he enjoyed life. He was not a victim of it. Billy had made the decision to enjoy his life despite the circumstances he found himself in.

I have no idea what happened to Billy. I never saw him again after that camp. I do remember him though. He was a shining example of someone who looked for and found the best out of life. He made an impact on me in the short time we hung around. I hadn’t thought of him until recently. I hope that he knows that he is making an impact…even thirty years later.