I watched Rocky Balboa not long ago. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I had heard good things about it. Usually the 6th installment in a franchise leaves little to be told, but some stories keep coming back with more. I didn’t expect much, but this Rocky movie surprised me. It is a story of an old boxer staring in the mirror and examining all that had gone past. He determines that there was still something inside of him left inside that he needed to get out. I didn’t expect much going in, but felt very satisfied coming out. He didn’t win the fight at the end of the movie, but he won the fight within himself.

Not long after I watched the movie Creed. I had heard good things about it, but like my comments above remained a bit skeptical. This one was amazing. It is the story of a young boxer who has something to prove. He knows he needs a coach. He turns to his deceased father’s friend and former foe, Rocky Balboa. Through the movie we see the growth of Adonis Creed, but also the transition of Rocky Balboa to Creed’s mentor.

I have been watching Rocky movies since I was a young kid. What is not to love? The underdog fighter goes in and does the impossible. I have wanted that to be my story in a lot of ways. A man no one has heard of fights his way up to come from obscurity into the light. Rocky was a nobody at the beginning of the first movie, but he had heart. He knew what he wanted to do, even if it didn’t look like he would be able to do it. He stuck with it. He had help along the way. He had a mentor, Mickey, that saw something in him and pushed him. It is similar story with Adonis Creed. He has a famous name, but wants to be known for himself. He too needs help along the way.

When I was a young man I identified with the fighters in these stories. They had a goal in front of them. They had a foe they needed to defeat. This is how I have looked at goals. What’s next? What else can I achieve? Unlike these fighters, I haven’t always been clear if I am fighting in the right fight. Am I chasing the right goals? Am I headed the right way. A bit of introspection tells me that I have done ok. Maybe some things could have gone better, but at 41 I like who I am and the direction I am headed. I have goals and they are becoming much more focused.

Now that I am nearing middle age, as my son so kindly informed me not long ago, I realize that I am not just the fighter in the story. I have to be more. I identified with Rocky/Adonis the fighter, but now I can feel the transition to Mickey/Rocky the mentor. I have experiences that I need to share. I have wisdom that has been beat into my head over several years. I have walked some of the path of life and know them well. I need to share that knowledge with those who are newer at the journey. Where I can I need to help other avoid the pain of some of the lessons I learned. Where that is not possible, I need to help them navigate the pain and interpret it correctly.

Fighter and mentor. I am thankful for this position. I want to make the most of it. I want to keep learning and growing. I want to keep fighting new fights, where they make sense. I also want to pass the knowledge along and help others win.

Like Rocky did in Rocky Balboa, I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize there is stuff inside that I never got out. I would far rather actively pursue it…as a fighter and as a mentor.

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

Verse 1

I’m going 90 miles an hour

the way these days go by

leaves you spinning in circles

sick from the ride

The faster that I go

the more important things I miss

This can’t go on forever

I can’t keep up like this

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

Verse 2

When you look you see a stranger

my face is just a shell

No one else has noticed

but you know me too well

The light that shone inside me

has dwindled to a spark

who knows how long it will be

before it all goes dark

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

Bridge

Can you save me from this ride? Take this fear from me?

Can you bring me anything to curb the insanity?

Chorus

There has to be more to this life

More than just the struggle to survive

There has to be more from the days I have seen

There has to be more to me

I wrote this several years ago. This one is not about me. I am thankful for that.

Verse 1

Time passes slowly, the seconds turn into days

Missing the time we spent together before you went away

I can still feel your touch and smell your fragrance in the air

The color of your eyes and the softness of your hair

Chorus

I look for you in every crowded room

As I walk down the street under the light of the moon

I search for you all day in every face I see

Longing for the day that you return to me.

Verse 2

My heart still chooses to ignore the fact that you are gone

I refuse to accept it though my friends tell me to move on

When I close my eyes at night you are still with me in my dreams

I can almost feel your touch, lying next to me

Chorus

I look for you in every crowded room

As I walk down the street under the light of the moon

I search for you all day in every face I see

Longing for the day that you return to me.

Bridge

If it takes days, if those days turn into years

No matter the time I will be here

Chorus

I look for you in every crowded room

As I walk down the street under the light of the moon

I search for you all day in every face I see

Longing for the day that you return to me.

The best is yet to come. I love this Frank Sinatra tune. I like it because it is a good love song. It is also a good mantra for life. The best is yet to come. Things may be good now, but that doesn’t mean that can’t get better. Maybe things are hard right now…the best is definitely yet to come. For 2020, this is how I am going approach the new year. This is also how I approach every day.

One of the cool things about writing my thoughts down over the years is it provides perspective. For years I have come to the beginning of a new year with the hope that ‘finally this year will be different’. I have looked at the beginning of the year as a fresh start. While it definitely can be, I have come a long way in my thinking regarding this. I have discovered that each moment holds the potential for something new. You don’t have to wait for the New Year. You have the power to choose on any day, not just New Year’s Day.

For the past few months I have been working on a few specific things…fitness, reading and writing. As I wrote in a previous post, I have been working to get my habits right around these things. As I continue to practice good habits in these areas, I am finding that it leads to building habits in other areas as well. It all started with the power I have to choose. I finally got tired of looking in the mirror and seeing my face, knowing I could be more.

Knowing you can be more and doing something about it is the difficult part. What more could I be? What did I need to do? How was I going to do it? Let’s look at this through the lens of New Years resolutions and see if we can spot the problem.

Lose Weight. Yes. That is one of the most common New Years resolutions out there. I have had that on my list several times. We all want to lose weight and finally feel our best…or just look good on the beach. How do we plan to lose weight? Sign up for a gym membership. Eat better. Avoid cookies. Can you see why this doesn’t work? None of what I have written in this paragraph is specific.

If it is important enough to write down on your list of resolutions, then it is important enough to make a plan. So, you want to lose weight? How is it really done? If you don’t know, there is this cool thing called Google. You can find out the information for yourself, or you can find someone who has already done it and see what they have to say. For me, I bought a fitness program and have been following it. Now I know that after I get my gym membership here are the exercies I have to do and on which day. When I go to eat every day, I know now what my calorie count and nutrition breakouts need to look like. I am no where near where I want to be, but moving from the general to the specific has me a lot further down the right path.

When you know what you want, you can make choices that support the goal you have identified. When you get specific about the goal, the choices that you make become clearer and much easier to make. It is a process and takes time. Any goal worth pursuing will.

There is greatness inside of you. There are amazing things that you are meant to do. What do you want? You have the power to choose. A mediocre life is not an acceptable choice. The best is yet to come. I choose to be the best I can be. I choose for 2020 to be a year of purpose. Will you join me?

There are many who believe these two words go hand in hand and that to have one you must have the other. I have a different take. (For this post I define nice as pleasing; agreeable; delightful. I am defining good as excellent or virtuous.)

There are four ways to look at this:

1. There are things that are good and nice at the same time.

2. There are things that are good, but not nice.

3. There are things that are nice, but not good.

4. There are things that are neither.

I know a woman who I find to be a good person. From the conversations we have had she seems to be very genuine and heartfelt. She can be nice. But that is not her strong point. She is good. Good at her job. Good to her friends. A good person. I wouldn’t consider her a consistently nice person. It wouldn’t fit her if she were. She doesn’t have to be both.

There are times when people refuse to tell you what they should. They don’t want to hurt your feelings. They don’t want to turn into a difficult conversation. The could choose to be good and do the right thing. The settle for being nice and letting something continue that shouldn’t.

It has been a paradigm shift to look at things like this. Knowing that the good thing to do is not always the nice thing to do flies in the face of convention. People aren’t used to hearing the truth. It hurts, but the truth is a good thing. It is not always a nice thing though.

We face the choice everyday of how we respond to things. If we can do both nice and good, great. If we must choose one over the other, do it with caution.