Category: Blog

How Are You, Really? A Reflection on Life’s Highs and Lows

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Lately, as a part of my 7-40 Challenge, I’ve been diving into The Book of Alchemy by Suleika Jaouad, and tonight, one essay in particular hit me hard: “How Are You, Really?” by Nora McInerny (whose name I’m probably mangling in my head—apologies, Nora). In it, she shares a raw, honest story about a tragedy that shook her world. A dear friend looked her in the eyes and asked, “How are you, really?” Her response? “I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t fine. Not even close. As a newly widowed mother of a toddler, Nora was grappling with a severe case of PTSD that lingered for months. Her essay got me thinking: why do we default to “I’m fine” when someone asks how we’re doing? Especially when the people asking are the ones who love us, who are offering a safe space to unravel, to connect, to just be with someone who cares. That question—“How are you, really?”—is an invitation to vulnerability, yet so often, we brush it off.

So, let me take a stab at answering it for myself. How am I, really?

I’m tired. Exhausted, even. Two and a half months ago, my family and I packed up our lives and moved to a new city. We bought a new house, I started a new job, and we’ve been working to find the rhythm of this new chapter. There’s so much to love about this fresh start—the opportunities, being closer to friends and family, the chance to grow. My heart is full of gratitude for where we are and what lies ahead. But the constant motion, the frenetic energy of “new,” is wearing on me. It’s survivable—more than survivable, really—but it’s a lot.

At the same time, I’m hopeful. After feeling stagnant in my previous role due to forces beyond my control, this new job has reignited my sense of agency. I’m excited about the opportunities in front of me, even if they’re a little terrifying (in the best way possible). My drive to contribute, to make a difference, is stronger than it’s been in years. That spark keeps me going, even on the tired days.

And at my core? I’m greatful. Truly. That’s not a glossed-over “I’m fine.” It’s a deep, grounded sense of gratitude that anchors me. I’m grateful to God for His love and for saving me. I am thankful for the love in my life—for my wife, who married me all those years ago and loves me more fiercely today than ever. For my son, who I am so very proud of and whose relationship with his dad fills me with so much joy. For our friends, our family, the home we’ve been blessed with. Gratitude is the thread that weaves through it all, keeping me steady.

As I stand on the cusp of another birthday, I’m not necessarily struggling with getting older, but it’s definitely a more present reality. The older I get, the more I want my life to matter. I want my decisions to be wiser, my love to be fiercer, my gratitude to be front and center. I want to live with purpose, to make a contribution that lasts. I want to make God smile.

So, that’s how I am, really. Tired, hopeful, grateful, and ready to lean into this next chapter with intention. I’m choosing to love harder, to live more purposefully, to let gratitude guide me.

How about you? How are you, really? Take a moment to answer that question—not just for someone else, but for yourself. You might be surprised by what you find.

Day 38 of the 40-Day Challenge: How I Rediscovered Reading and Negotiation

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Hey there, friends! Welcome to Day 38 of my 7-40 Challenge, where I’m committing to seven daily habits to spark growth, find my rhythm, and finally start crushing the goals I’ve set for myself. These past 38 days have been nothing short of transformative—productive, challenging, and deeply rewarding. Today, I’m thrilled to share a major milestone: I’ve finished my third book of the challenge, and I’m already diving into two others. Let’s unpack this journey and talk about a fantastic book that’s reshaped how I view conversations and negotiations.

The Power of Small Habits

My 7-40 challenge is all about building a foundation for bigger dreams. By focusing on daily habits—like prioritizing my physical health, nurturing my spiritual growth, and fueling my creative passions—I’m laying the groundwork for the life I want to create. It’s not always easy. Balancing these priorities while keeping my eyes on long-term goals has been a test of discipline. But let me tell you, the progress feels incredible. Small, consistent actions—like reading for 30 minutes a day—have compounded into something truly meaningful.

A Reading Renaissance

Before this challenge, I hadn’t read a full book in ages. Life gets busy, distractions pile up, and somehow, reading falls by the wayside. But committing to 30 minutes of reading each day has been a transformative. Not only have I finished three books in 38 days, but I’m also juggling two others simultaneously. That’s five books total—a feat I’m incredibly proud of. This habit has reignited my curiosity, sharpened my mind, and reminded me how much I love getting lost in a good book.

The latest book I finished? Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. If you haven’t read it, buckle up—this one’s a must.

Why Never Split the Difference is a Game-Changer

Written by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, Never Split the Difference is a masterclass in negotiation that’s as gripping as it is practical. Voss draws from his high-stakes experiences negotiating with kidnappers and criminals, but what makes this book so powerful is how universal its lessons are. Whether you’re in a boardroom, parenting a toddler, or just trying to get a better deal on a car, negotiation is part of daily life.

Voss redefines negotiation as a conversation—a way to uncover what the other person needs while advocating for your own needs. It’s not about winning or losing; it’s about solving a problem together. His real-world examples are intense (think life-or-death hostage situations), but the strategies—like active listening, mirroring, and asking calibrated questions—are surprisingly easy to apply in everyday scenarios. I’m already noticing how these techniques can help me navigate conversations more thoughtfully, whether I’m collaborating with colleagues or working through a disagreement at home.

One story that really hit home was Voss’s explanation of how negotiation isn’t just for high-stakes deals—it’s everywhere. From convincing your kids to eat their veggies to closing a business deal, we’re negotiating all the time. Framing it as a collaborative conversation, not a battle, has completely shifted how I approach these moments. It’s empowering to know that by listening better and asking the right questions, I can build stronger connections and find win-win solutions.

What’s Next?

Reading Never Split the Difference has me hungry to learn more about communication and human behavior. But more than that, it’s reinforced the value of the 7-40 Challenge. By sticking to my daily habits, I’m not just checking boxes—I’m growing, evolving, and getting closer to the person I want to be.

Now, I want to hear from you! What book are you reading right now? Got a recommendation that could join my ever-growing list? Drop it in the comments—I’m always looking for the next great read.

Day 38 and Counting

This challenge has been a wild ride, and with only two days left, I’m more motivated than ever. These habits are becoming second nature, and I can already see how they’re setting me up for bigger wins in the future. Thanks for joining me on this journey—let’s keep pushing forward together. See you on Day 39!

Embracing Forward Momentum: Day 37 of the 7-40 Challenge

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Hey there, friends! Welcome back to my corner of the internet. If you’ve been following along, you know we’re deep into the 7-40 Challenge—a 40-day sprint where I’m committing to seven daily habits to build rhythm, spark progress, and unlock that next-level transformation in my productivity and personal growth. Today marks Day 37, and let me tell you, this ride has worth every moment. Sure, there have been bumps, but the overall momentum? Moving at full speed ahead.

For those just tuning in (or if you need a quick refresher), here’s the lineup of those seven powerhouse habits I’ve been grinding on:

1. Daily Bible study and prayer – Starting the day in God’s word.

2. One hour of workout – Getting the blood pumping and building that physical resilience.

3. Counting calories – Keeping my nutrition in check for sustained energy.

4. Drinking 100 ounces of water a day – Hydration is key to feeling sharp and alive.

5. Practicing gratitude daily – Shifting focus to the positives amid the chaos.

6. Reading or listening to books for 30 minutes – Feeding the mind with fresh ideas.

7. Writing daily or working on business objectives – Turning thoughts into actionable steps.

Not every day has been a flawless victory. Over the past five weeks, I’ve had to skip a workout or two due to sheer exhaustion or unexpected curveballs. But here’s the beauty: as a general rule, I’ve nailed these habits consistently. The result? Real, tangible progress that’s turbocharging my goals and reshaping my routine.

As I edge closer to the end of this 40-day cycle, my mind is already racing ahead to the next iteration. Remember, the 7-40 Challenge isn’t a one-and-done deal—it’s designed for seven cycles total. The genius of it? Once certain habits become second nature, woven seamlessly into my daily life, I swap them out for new ones. This keeps the growth engine revving, ensuring I’m always learning, evolving, and pushing boundaries.

Take my daily Bible study and prayer, for instance. This has been a non-negotiable part of my mornings for over three years (and honestly, much longer as well). It’s no longer something I “practice”—it’s just who I am. The same goes for chugging 100 ounces of water or tracking calories; these are habits on autopilot now, fueling me without the need for deliberate tracking. Why keep them on the list when they’re already embedded in my active lifestyle? Freeing up those slots lets me introduce fresh challenges that stretch me further.

I’m older now, and I’ve let too much time slip by in the past. No more wasting precious moments—it’s time to pour maximum effort into what truly matters. The goals I whisper about? They need to roar at the forefront of my mind. Over the next few days, I’ll be clarifying and sharing those specifics for the upcoming cycle. But here’s the thing: I don’t have all the details nailed down yet, and that’s okay. Growth isn’t about having a pixel-perfect roadmap; it’s about committing to forward progress.

Think of it like a cross-country road trip from Oklahoma to New York. There are countless routes—highways, backroads, scenic detours. You don’t need to plot every mile in advance; you just need a clear destination and the willingness to course-correct. As long as each step (or turn) pulls you closer to where you want to be, it’s progress. If something veers you off-track? Reassess and pivot. This mindset has been my anchor: focus on the outcome, embrace the journey, and keep moving.

At its core, this challenge is a reminder that true transformation comes from sustained evolution. Not all goals require rigid practice forever—if they’re already part of your active rhythm, celebrate that win and make space for new horizons. It’s about building a life of continuous growth, where complacency has no seat at the table.

So, what’s on your horizon? What big goals are you chasing for the rest of the year? Drop them in the comments below—let’s spark a conversation and inspire each other. I’d love to hear your stories and cheer you on.

See you tomorrow for Day 38. Let’s keep the momentum going! 🚀

What Happens When You Force Your Brain to Sit Still for 5 Minutes? Spoiler: Chaos Ensues

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

Hey there, fellow overthinkers and perpetual doers. If you’re anything like me, the idea of “doing nothing” for even a few minutes sounds like a cruel joke. But that’s exactly what I stumbled into while diving into Suleika Jaouad’s The Book of Alchemy. This gem of a book packs 100 daily essays and prompts designed to spark creativity, and today’s entry—titled “Be Slow” and penned by Rachel Schwartzmann—hit me right in my productivity-obsessed soul.

The prompt? Simple: Take 5 minutes to do absolutely nothing. Then, jot down what you experienced, thought, or realized. Sounds zen, right? Call me a skeptic, but I didn’t buy it. How much could really happen in 300 seconds of stillness? My brain’s a hamster wheel on steroids—always spinning with to-dos, random lyrics, and half-forgotten memories. So, this morning, I decided to test it. I plopped down at my desk, set a timer, and committed to writing down every single thought that popped up. No filtering, no judging. Just pure, unadulterated stream of consciousness.

To say it was “active” would be the understatement of the year. Welcome to the wild ride inside my head…

The Raw Dump: My 5-Minute Brain Explosion

Here’s the list, exactly as I scribbled it down in real-time:

•  Costco

•  Chiropractor

•  Anxiety

•  Fan

•  Laughing

•  Office

•  Track Food

•  Three Doors Down – You Love Me But You Don’t Know Who I Am

•  What a croc!

•  Rocky V

•  Three Men and a Little Lady

I know, I know. If you’re reading this and thinking (in the immortal words of Buzz Lightyear), “Wow. You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity,” you’re not alone. At first glance, it looks like the ramblings of someone who hit their head on the way to the coffee maker. But stick with me—this chaotic jumble turned out to be surprisingly revealing.

Decoding the Madness: What It All Meant

Sitting still was harder than I expected. My brain rebelled like a toddler in a candy store, constantly yanking me toward tasks or distractions. I had to keep reeling myself back in, refocusing on the quiet. Here’s the breakdown of what each thought actually represented, in the context of my mental whirlwind:

•  Costco and Chiropractor: Boom—errands mode activated. These are both on my afternoon agenda. I need to confirm my chiropractor appointment (calling when they open later), and Costco? Well, who doesn’t need bulk toilet paper? These popped up first, totally unrelated to the exercise, but classic examples of my brain’s “get stuff done” autopilot.

•  Anxiety: Less than a minute in, and there it was—a subtle nudge of unease. I’m wired for action; stillness feels like slacking off. I get anxious when I’m not “productive,” even though I know deep down I could use more of this downtime. It’s a reminder that my natural bend toward hustle isn’t always a virtue.

•  Fan: Finally, a moment of presence. I tuned into the sounds around me—the gentle hum of my Amacool desk fan, the cool breeze keeping me comfy. It sparked a wave of gratitude for my wife, who gifted it to me. She’s a wizard at taking care of the little things that make life smoother. In that quiet, I appreciated how these everyday comforts ground me.

•  Laughing and Office: These tied into the sensory stuff. The “laughing” was me chuckling at how ridiculous this all felt, and “office” was just acknowledging my surroundings—the desk, the hum, the familiarity. A brief nod to the here and now before my mind wandered again.

•  Track Food: Panic strikes again! I remembered I hadn’t logged my morning calories in MyFitnessPal yet. Another to-do item crashing the party, like those little emotions in Disney’s Inside Out fighting for control. Joy? Anger? More like Taskmaster Fear taking the wheel.

•  Three Doors Down – You Love Me But You Don’t Know Who I Am: Right on cue for the Inside Out vibe, this earworm hit. (It’s actually “Let Me Go,” but close enough—my brain’s not great with titles under pressure.) Why this song? No clue. It’s catchy, I love the band, and apparently, my mental DJ thought it was the perfect soundtrack for attempted zen. I could picture the little red Anger character from the movie fuming as the tune looped endlessly.

•  What a croc!: A random outburst of disbelief—or just a random line that came to mind which led me to the face of a little girl in a movie which led me to Tom Selleck which led me to the next thing in the list which is where I first heard the phrase What a croc.

•  Rocky V and Three Men and a Little Lady: And just like that, time travel. Suddenly, I’m back in late November 1990, 12 years old, begging my mom to drop me at the movies. I watched Rocky V (which, oddly, I didn’t even like the previous Rockies that much), then snuck out, bought another ticket, and caught Three Men and a Little Lady. I’d seen the first one, but really? At 12, alone? The real mystery: Why did my parents greenlight this solo adventure? Pre-teen me was living on the edge, apparently.

All of that—in just 5 minutes. From errands to existential gratitude, from Disney analogies to ‘90s movie marathons. It’s a snapshot of my daily mental gymnastics: turning mundane tasks into epic detours through time and emotion.

The Takeaway: Why You Should Try This (Even If It Sounds Nuts)

This little experiment was eye-opening. I had no idea so much was bubbling under the surface in such a short time. It highlighted how my brain defaults to productivity, distraction, and nostalgia—anything to avoid true stillness. But forcing the pause? It brought clarity, gratitude, and even a laugh at the absurdity of it all.

If you’re a skeptic like me, give it a shot. Grab a timer, sit down, and let your thoughts flow unchecked. You might uncover errands you forgot, songs you love, or childhood memories you didn’t know were lurking. In a world that glorifies hustle, “Be Slow” is a radical act of self-care. Who knows? Your 5 minutes could be the most productive non-productive time you’ve had all week.

What about you? Have you tried something like this? Drop your stream-of-consciousness stories in the comments—I’d love to hear how your brain rebels (or relaxes). And if you’re intrigued by the book, The Book of Alchemy is a good one. Slow down, tune in, and see what magic unfolds.

Keep Feeding Your Dreams: A Journey of Growth and Self-Discovery

~ David Willis ~ Leave a comment

For as long as I can remember, one question has followed me like a shadow: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As a child, it sparked curiosity and wonder. As an adult, navigating multiple careers and now in my mid-40s, it lingers—not as a sign of failure, but as a reminder that growth never stops. I’m not questioning whether I’ve “grown up.” I’ve lived independently for nearly three decades, built a life, and found passions. Yet, the question persists, whispering: Is there more? Is there something inside me still waiting to be discovered?

The answer, I’ve come to believe, should always be yes. Not because we haven’t found what we love or what we’re good at, but because life demands evolution. As the Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” If we stop dreaming, stop exploring, stop stretching, we risk becoming stagnant—like a neglected sourdough starter.

The Sourdough Metaphor: A Lesson in Tending to Growth

I’m a passionate sourdough baker. There’s something magical about the process—whether I’m crafting crusty loaves, gooey cinnamon rolls, or delicious cakes, the possibilities with sourdough are endless. But the heart of it all is the starter, that living culture of flour and water that needs constant care. Neglect it for a few days, and it slows down. Ignore it longer, and a bad spot might form on the surface, or it might start to smell off. Without fresh flour, water, and attention, it loses its vibrancy.

Our dreams and aspirations are much the same. If we don’t feed them with new ideas, new books, new experiences, they stagnate. They start to “smell” of complacency, and in the worst cases, they become irredeemable—not because they were flawed, but because we stopped tending to them. “We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle reminds us. If we repeatedly ignore our inner spark, we risk losing it.

But here’s where the metaphor offers hope: a sourdough starter can be revived. Scrape off the bad spot, feed it fresh material, and with a little care, it bubbles back to life. So can we. No matter how long we’ve let our dreams sit untouched, we can always start again.

The Power of Asking Hard Questions

The question “What do you want to be?” isn’t just for kids. It’s a lifelong challenge to keep asking ourselves: Am I doing what I’m meant to do? Am I pursuing the things that set my soul on fire? These questions aren’t meant to haunt us but to push us toward clarity and action.

In my own life, I’ve taken on a personal challenge—what I call the 7-40 Challenge—committing to seven habits daily over 40 days to find my focus and turbocharge my achievement. It’s been a game-changer. It’s forced me to sharpen my focus, to clarify what I want to achieve, and to prioritize my goals. Some dreams move forward; others take a backseat, not because they’re unimportant, but because life requires us to choose what matters most in the moment. As Marie Curie once said, “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.” Understanding our priorities helps us move forward without fear.

Staying Alive and Bubbly

Like a thriving sourdough starter, we need to keep ourselves “alive and bubbly.” That means feeding our minds with new ideas, challenging ourselves with new goals, and taking responsibility for turning our dreams into reality. It’s not enough to have a spark of inspiration—you have to do the work. You have to show up every day, even when it’s hard, even when other priorities clamor for attention.

For me, this means continuing to ask: What’s next? What’s inside me that I haven’t explored yet? It means staying curious, staying open, and never settling for stagnation.

A Call to Keep Growing

So, wherever you are in your journey, I encourage you to keep feeding your dreams. Tend to them like a baker tends to their starter—with care, consistency, and a willingness to start again if things go awry. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and keep asking the big questions. They’re not a sign of being lost; they’re a sign you’re alive.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Here’s to day 37 of our journeys—may we all keep growing, keep dreaming, and keep bubbling with possibility