I was walking through the park not long ago. It was one of those warm breezy days when everyone wants to get outside and just enjoy the feeling of life happening around them. The birds were singing. Children were playing. Many had a blanket thrown down for a picnic. And for some, love seemed to be in the air. There were many walking hand in hand soaking up the time they had together. It made me smile.

Friendship. It is so hard to come by in its most authentic state. Two people who are committed to the bettering of the other. Looking out for each other. Walking through good times and bad together. Everybody needs a good friend. Life is too hard not to have one, or two, or 19.

It is an extra special thing to have a good authentic friend who is also the love of your life. There is a level of vulnerability that comes along with friendship is intense, and it becomes even more so when friendship love is paired with romantic love. You are able to experience amazing highs and lows with that person because of the relationship that you have formed. It is a precious thing that must be handled with respect and with care.

I am pleased to say I have this friendship in my life. I give thanks to God often that he allowed me the presence of mind at 19 years old to recognize the potential in the budding friendship between me and Marixa that has since turned into the greatest friendship I have ever known. I am honored to be her husband. She is my best friend and I work hard to be the man she needs me to be.

I look over our time together and I wonder what has been one of the greatest key factors to our nearly 21 years of marriage. While there have been many things that have contributed, one of the things that sticks out is the trust we have in one another. I know that she is for me. She knows that I am for her. We trust each other.

I have seen far too many people who can’t say that. They worry constantly about where their significant other, or close friend, is, or what they are doing, or with whom. Is this really any way to live life? Who wants to be in a constant state of instability? Nobody that I know.

I am sure you have heard the old example of not getting involved with people who are not living the life that you desire to live. The example goes like this: It is much easier for a person standing in a chair to be pulled down by the person on the floor than it is for the person on the floor to be pulled up in the chair. Many people use this example to persuade kids to stay away from other kids that have bad habits, but the same can be true for friendships. Friendships are hard to maintain when both sides are not committed to the maintenance.

Along with trust you have to have honesty. I remember the first few conversations that we had as we were getting to know each other. She was very easy to talk to and I saw quickly that we could be friends. I was faced with a small dilemma: do I start out completely honest and run the risk of saying or doing something she doesn’t like? Or do I play it cool and not open up very much and make her guess at who I really am? Thankfully, I went with honesty.

For our marriage it has been the essential thing. We share our entire life with each other. Yes, it is venerable, but that is where trust comes in. Just like I found out years ago, I can be open and honest with her because she is my closest friend. That is what we do. If you can’t be honest in that situation where can you be honest?

I am so thankful for my best friend. I am thankful for the love we share.

Have you ever been in an argument with your significant other? Or with a very close friend? I don’t mean a “who ate the last of the ice cream that I wanted to eat” argument. I mean an real issue that you are having difficulty working out? And in that argument you said things you shouldn’t have and hurt the other person? The truth is we all have.

I would bet the moment you said the hurtful thing, you knew it. You knew you had further complicated the issue and hurt the other person. What did you do? How do you overcome those moments that you are hurtful and didn’t mean to be?

Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human, but to forgive is divine.”

Indira Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

I agree with both of these statements, and I would like to take them a step further. To apologize is also divine and brave. There is power in a genuine apology. Don’t you agree? Let me describe three ways that I have seen this power work in my own life.

When I am discussing an issue with someone I want to remember that the person is always more important than the issues. My wife and I have been in discussions before that have gotten away from us. In those times I may have said things that I thought were not offensive, but she heard something other than what I thought I said. It takes a few moments, but I realize that I have caused hurt. What do I do in that moment or realization? Stop the conversation and apologize. My wife is worth more to me than whatever the issue is we are discussing. Her feelings are worth more than my pride. So, I offer a heart felt apology and something that could have been very hurtful is passed over and quickly we return to a meaningful conversation.

Next, by apologizing I keep a grounded view. I am not always right. Far from it. If I am willing to admit that it leads to deeper relationships and more trust. Have you been around people who never admit they are wrong? Are they the coolest people in the room? In a word, no. There is a scripture that says, Pride goes before a fall. A person who is unwilling to admit they are wrong is operating from a position of pride. I don’t want to be that person.

Lastly, I am building strength with each apology. Building character is hard work. It is choosing day after day to make good, consistent choices. When I have done wrong, or brought offence the right choice is to offer an apology and to make the situation right. By making this choice, I want people to know when they deal with me that I am a good team mate and friend.

There is power in apology. I encourage you to remember that as you examine your relationships. Is the person more important that the issue? Have you been a victim of your own pride? Have you treated others fairly? I am confident that you will know when it is right to offer an apology, and you will see its power work for the good.

It seems like I have known you forever.
And also like it’s only been days.
Our love is still fresh, but so rich and deep.

We feel in love so quick.
Many wondered if it would stick,
I never doubted us for a moment.

I knew that We had found it.
A love that was real and lasting.
So, we marched confidently into the future.

We are not where we thought we’d be.
But, that is completely ok.
I love who we are becoming.

It’s not an adventure if you know the path.
There is no one I would rather do it with.
You are my best friend.

I love it that I get to walk with you.
That you are my partner through it all.
I wouldn’t be me if it weren’t for you.

We are now two decades down this road.
There are wonders and indescribable beauties.
The best one of all my love, is you, the woman I love.

Verse 1 – Every day I smile waking up here next to you. I lie there and I stare, because I am so thankful for you.

You are asleep and you don’t know just how beautiful you are. Then again, it comes so natural to you. You shine just like a star. You shine just like a star.

Chorus – Baby I’m the lucky one. You have given your heart to me. We are decades down this road we are on and starts are all I see.

Verse 2 – I love the way you love me and how you take good care of me. I love the life we have made togehter in this home as a family.

We have seen good and bad days, and no it doesn’t change a thing. I’d choose you again and again for all my life. This is the song I sing. This is the song I sing.

Chorus – Baby I’m the lucky one. You have given your heart to me. We are decades down this road we are on and starts are all I see.

Tag – No I don’t know what the future will hold. Baby that is just fine by me. As long as I have you by my side, that is all I need.

Chorus – Baby I’m the lucky one. You have given your heart to me. We are decades down this road we are on and starts are all I see.

It have been working for a lot of years now. It is hard to believe that I got my first job 25 years ago. Was 1994 really that long ago? Man, it doesn’t seem like it. It seems like it was just yesterday and I was showing up to Taco Bell for the first time…to work there and not eat.

Do you remember your first job? When I was 16 I was a bit naive…granted we all were at that age. In being naive, I thought that the managers of the store would have their stuff together. I thought that Taco Bell would be a well run machine. After all, I liked the food, so what would be so hard about working there. Yeah, the shine wore off real fast.

I didn’t realize back in the day that when you go to work for a place, there is a fine line you walk between knowing what the end product is and really knowing how it is made. To this day I will not eat the bean burritos there. Or the tacos. Or…eat there at all. Part of it is because fast food really isn’t good for me. The other part? I know how the food was made back then…can anyone say boiled in a bag?

It was also the first time that I remember being stuck in a place that I couldn’t leave for a predetermined amount of time, doing things that I did not consider fun. I can look back now and see the lessons I was learning much clearer than I saw them then for sure. I don’t remember the manager’s name, but I do remember her as an abrasive, do it because I told you to type. These days I deal with people like that often and I know how to handle the interactions. Back then, I had no idea what to do.

I can also look back and see the obvious business lessons I was learning. I remember having to weigh the ingredients that went into the food. I don’t remember the manager ever telling me it was to control food cost and overall spend. I wouldn’t have understood those terms then anyway, but I sure do now. I also remember having a crash course in customer service. It was really hard then to be really nice to some people that would come to the counter. Let’s face it, Taco Bell on the late shift is a magnet for strangeness.

I am glad I had that job though. It only paid me 4.75 per hour, but it gave me a lot of pride in making my own money. I took pride in how I treated people. I tried to do my very best. These are things that I work tirelessly on now. Everything I learned back then is still very applicable today.

I am glad to have moved beyond making retried beans in a bag and burritos, but I do appreciate the memories and lessons it gave me. It was far from perfect, but it was a good first job.