It happens every year. It’s one of our favorite things to do. It just so happens it occurred a whole lot earlier this year than usual…we have already decorated for Christmas.

For some folks this isn’t a big deal, but I used to be fairly rigid that all decorating for Christmas had to be after Thanksgiving. Then we had the realization that you can still be as thankful with a tree is as without, so why wait?

Regardless of when we decorate though, there is one tradition that I look forward to every year while we decorate…watching White Christmas.

I remember watching White Christmas as a kid. My mom and I enjoyed all of the songs and sang along every time. I am pretty certain I had a crush on Vera Ellen at one point too. It is safe to say I have loved that movie for over 30 years.

When my beautiful bride and I got married we had a lot of fun creating our own traditions. There are many that have carried forward to this day. Whether it is seeing a movie on Christmas, or listening to our favorite Christmas songs, or decorating…we love Christmas.

So, why do we do what do we do? Years ago we were given a couple of Christmas trees by my wife’s grandparents. We were excited to decorate, but putting the trees together seemed like a drawn out task. We had a VHS player (it may have been a DVD…it’s been 19 years and my brain is fuzzy) and a copy of the movie, so I put it on. I sang along with the whole movie and we decorated away. It stuck and now we do it every year. (When my boy came along he added watching Polar Express right after. So good.)

But why is this one of my favorite traditions? The small reason is we love the movie. The bigger, more important reason is because decorating our home sets the tone for the Christmas season. We are firm believers that atmosphere has a great affect on response. By setting up the atmosphere to be festive and joyful, we prepare ourselves for the very same.

We have so much to celebrate and to be thankful for. Each of the traditions that we enjoy reinforces this in some way. From decorating to looking at lights, giving gifts to attending church services…all of it highlights the blessings we have been given and the gratitude in our hearts.

For me, Christmas is just a little bit brighter and a little bit better when Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye help is kick it off. Getting to share it with my two favorite people every year makes it even better still.

When I was a kid we didn’t take many vacations. My dad was a police officer and he worked a lot, so we didn’t have a chance to take too many extended trips. We had fun as a family, it was usually just close to home.

I remember one time though that I thought was absolutely amazing. It was the summer of 1989. I was just about to turn 11 and we took a trip to one of the coolest places I had ever been: Six Flags Over Texas.

Now, I had been there with my dad before when he was the chaperone of our church youth group. I was much younger and didn’t really get to ride anything those first times. It was cool then, but it was so much cooler at the age of 10 knowing I could ride a whole bunch of rides.

There are a couple of rides that I remember very clearly…the cliffhanger and the bobsled. Do you know these rides? The cliffhanger is just like it sounds. You ride up the face of a wall…it felt like several hundred feet back then…and then when you least expect it, the drop you straight down. I remember riding it and enjoying it. The bobsled is also like it sounds, only not as fast. I remember being scared of it at first. Dad had to remind me that it was all going to be ok. I tried it and had a blast.

Another ride that I absolutely loved was Splash Water Falls. Now, you have to understand something if you have never been to Texas in the summer…it’s hot! We had been around the park for several hours, so when we got on this awesome ride we were ready for a cool down. The best part about it though was standing on the bridge over the water when you got off the ride. When the next boat came down it would absolutely drench anyone standing there. It was so much fun.

I remember that I had a brand new pair of British Knights sneakers on. It was the coolest pair of shoes I had ever owned up to that point. I remember at school that BKs were very cool. Yeah, they got drenched and I was having so much fun I didn’t even care.

That trip to Six Flags has to be one of my favorite memories as a kid. I got to spend awesome time with my mom and dad. We enjoyed each other as a family. It was so good.

I also think it is cool that I got to take my boy there for his 9th birthday. I walked him around that same park where I had all the fun 28 years earlier. I took him on some of the same rides. I soaked ever minute of it up with him. I loved reliving the memories with him and can’t wait to make even more.

With every year that passes, I know less and less what to expect. The magic is still here, but it feels very different than it used to. The day used to fill me with excitement…now that has given way to a quiet gratitude. I turn 41 today and I feel extremely thankful.

For my birthday today, I would like to share with you three things that I am thankful for:

1. My bride. I proposed to my best friend 21 years and one day ago. I was 19 and I knew that I had found the one person in the world that I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting into mischief with. I would like to say that I was extremely suave and well planned out, but I wasn’t. I was young and extremely excited and I proposed in my crappy college apartment rather suddenly. It could have been more romantic, but it couldn’t have been any more genuine. I was in love with my best friend. I am 21 years more so now. She is my partner in life (and maybe mischief from time to time…). 

2. My son. We always knew we wanted kids. Believe it or not, I knew at 15 that I wanted to be a dad. I even told my mom back then that was something that I wanted. I think she misheard me. She seemed concerned. No. I wasn’t trying to tell her something that I had done…I was just conveying the fact that one day I wanted a little one of my own. I didn’t know it would take another 15 years to realize it…we had T two months before I turned 30. It is safe to say, I had no idea of how amazing it would be. Yes, I saw glimpses, but he has been so amazing. He makes me laugh every day. He is so smart. He is so brave. He is so sweet. I can not type enough words to describe how much I love this boy…and his mama too. 

3. My family. My dad and mom are my heroes. It is only on this side of life and with the perspective I now have that I can see how awesome they are. They have loved me and taken care of me in so ways. Last year when I found out I had cancer again, they dropped everything and were by my side in no time flat.  Dad made a point to come down (200 miles) to take me to my chemo appointments. Mom spent countless hours praying for me and encouraging me. This is just the stuff they have done recently. I could write an entire book on the ways they have loved me and given their time and love over the years. Words cannot express how much I love them. They are amazing. 

There are so many other things I am thankful for: Chris, Linda, Colt, Mariah, Rileigh, Lillie, Bob, Bunny, Amber, Hali, Michael, Caity….the list really does go on and on. 

I am aware as I type these words that every where I look and everything that I see, there is something to be thankful for. After the past few years, I am not going to miss a moment doing just that. 

One last word of gratitude: to the God who loves me and watches over me and His son who I love…thank you for the life you have given me. 

I wrote this a few years ago, before going through cancer again. I find these words to still be very true, so I present this to you regarding my first battle with cancer and the lessons I learned. These lessons were still true my second time through. 

Lessons from Surviving

What would you do? You are 26. Life is good. Your whole future is in front of you, but deep inside you know something is wrong. It is later confirmed by the doctor…you have cancer. There is a chance you could die. Picture it in your mind. What do you do?

This situation is from my life. I had this conversation with my doctor. It was the fall of 2004. He told me if I didn’t have surgery, the cancer would kill me. So, I had surgery and underwent 20 sessions of chemotherapy. Dying was not an option I was going to consider.

What do you do when adversity stands in your way? How do you make it through? What can be done to give you the best chance at success? I am going to discuss these questions, but first let me say this: I believe in you. I am convinced that you can overcome much more that you think you can. You have strength inside of you. You may not feel it now, but it is there…ready to come out. You can overcome adversity. You are stronger than you think you are.

Here are five things you will need to overcome adversity:
1. Name the adversity.
2. Develop a clear picture of what you want.
3. Keep a positive attitude.
4. Lean on your support system…there are more people that care than you think.
5. Faith.

A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown

Name the adversity

There are times in life we encounter adversity. Some of us come up against it in some form every day. It comes with being human. It is not something that can be avoided. I have heard that there are only three phases in life. You are either headed into a storm, you are in the storm, or you are coming out of the storm. I think there is a fourth stage as well, brief seasons of peace. Make no mistake though; those times can go in an instant.

When I was 25, life was good. I had been married for 5 years. I had a steady job. I was enjoying myself. There wasn’t much that a good nap, good friends, and a good meal wouldn’t fix. Then, came the lump.

It felt like I had been kicked hard in a way that hurts a man most. I blew it off for a short time, because after all I was invincible. After the pain persisted I made a visit to the doctor. I was referred to a specialist. Within 5 minutes of meeting with the specialist I was being scheduled for surgery. There was no time to think. There was hardly time to plan. I just knew I had a tumor and they were going in after it. Enter adversity.

Cancer is not one of those things that you can stand up to by yourself and beat. If you could I wouldn’t have gone through surgery or chemotherapy. I needed help. I had just named what was wrong in my body and measures could be taken to combat it. I listened to the doctors, weighed what they had to say, and then picked the best treatment plan for me. Thank the Lord it worked. It has been six years and I am cancer free.

What is it you are going through? Call it by name. Don’t beat around the bush. Is it an addiction? Are you in debt? Are you overweight? Whatever the adversity is, name it. Only then can you start to take steps to overcome it. It may take time to overcome. You may need help getting it done, but now is the time to start. There is a lot of life to live on the other side.

Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself – J. K. Rowling

If you’re going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

Develop a picture of what you want

Dying is something that was never a consideration in my mind. Sure, it was a possibility, but it wasn’t one I was willing to accept. I had a clear picture of what I wanted in my mind. I wanted to live. Now, I understand that many people faced with a similar diagnosis are not as fortunate as I was. There are times when medical science fails and the worst happens. I don’t make light of that at all. If I was going to have the chance to live though, I had to have my mind in the right place.

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb

Think about that in any adversity that you have gone through. How can you achieve something if you don’t know what it is you are working for? You can’t. You don’t pay off debts if you don’t have a plan. You don’t lose the weight unless you know what you are after. You don’t achieve anything of worth if you don’t have a clear picture in your mind of what you want to accomplish. This includes making it through chemo.

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. ~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Keep a positive attitude

On top of knowing what I wanted, I had to stay positive. I had a Sunday School teacher call me to tell me that he was concerned and was praying for me. There was care and concern in his voice. There was also a little fear. I told him that things were going to be ok. I said it with confidence. I knew that things would work out. He was amazed at the way I was handling it. Some of it was bravado on my part, but to me there was no other way.

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

When I say I had to stay positive this is what I mean: I was committed to doing whatever I needed to do to get through. I was realistic about my treatment. I asked questions. I did my best to understand what was going on. I looked for the best in my situation. When the doctors told me my chances I believed that I had a chance. I did my very best to stay positive. It was hard sitting in a chemotherapy chair, but I tried as hard as I could.

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires – disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way. ~Bernie S. Siegel

Lean on your support system…there are more people that care than you think

Along with having a clear picture of what I wanted, and having a positive attitude, I had a support system in place that helped me through my hard times. I cannot say enough about the importance of having people around you to support you when you are going through difficulties. My wife, my parents, my in-laws, my friends, my church all came together to help me.

The summer after my treatments were over I had been declared cancer free. Our best friends walked with us through the whole deal and we all decided to take a vacation to South Padre Island to celebrate my recovery and to get some much-needed R&R. One of my favorite memories is standing in the ocean just before the sun went down. My good friend Colt stood next to me. We stared off into the massive body of water in front of us. Nothing needed to be said. He was there. He supported me. I wasn’t alone.

Have faith

Lastly you need to have faith. I had no guarantees that the chemotherapy was going to work. I had really good odds, but anyone who has spent time in Vegas knows that good odds and guarantees are completely different things. I had to have faith that my purpose on this earth wasn’t finished and the One who created me still had a mission left for me.

What about the single mom in debt who is working two jobs? She has faith that all of her hard work is going to pay off. That one day she will be able to be out from under the debt. She can’t do it without a plan, but she has her plan in place. She believes that things are going to turn out as they should if she does what she is supposed to. Chances are they will.

Have you ever heard the phrase faith without works is dead? What does that mean? It means I can believe something all day long, but I still have to put in the work for it. I had faith that I was going to get better. I believed it down deep inside. I tried to take better care of myself. I did what the doctors told me I need to. I had faith that things were going to turn out good, but I still tried to do my part to make sure that they would.

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney

A problem is a chance for you to do your best. ~Duke Ellington

I didn’t want to go through cancer. Nobody does. However, I made it through to the other side by God’s grace. My life is not the same now as it was then. I like the quote from Benjamin Disraeli that says, “There is no education like adversity.” I know that this has been true for me.

I am much more focused and driven than I used to be. I know that I am not invincible. Time and opportunities are precious and I want to take advantage of them. There are things to accomplish, friendships to build, an impact to make. I have purpose. I am not sure I had that before.

Now, what about you? Are you going through a hard time? Has adversity been knocking hard at your door? What are you going to do about it? Are you going to roll over and give up? No. I don’t think so. That isn’t you. You are stronger than that. You are stronger than you may even know. I am convinced of this.

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~African Proverb

Take a good hard look at the adversity that is facing you. Develop a clear picture of what you want. Form a positive attitude and do the best that you can. Gather a support system around you to help you through this time. Have faith in yourself. You can make it through to the other side. You may even be a better version of you when you do.

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom

Several years ago I was attending a Toastmasters meeting where one of the speakers gave a speech about overcoming a hurtful relationship. She said that her Ex told her she would never be able to get over him. Her response was…Watch Me.

I was moved by her response and wrote this song soon after.