Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized who you see? I find this happening from time to time as I get older. It is a like a younger me is looking through my eyes and sees the older guy standing in the mirror. It makes me pause and think. I am not the person that I used to be. I am grateful for that in many ways, but are there things that didn’t need to change?
What change has been good?
For the people closest to me, the changes I have undergone over the years are evident. I am more reserved and quieter than I used to be. I am less impulsive and more intentional. I have a bias toward action and like to get stuff done. I like to think that I am a much better version of who I once was. The rough edges continued to be smooth and I am progressing in a good direction.
I can think of one example that highlights the good change. In 2002 I decided I needed a new car. We had bought a car for my wife the year before and it was MY turn. For some reason, I had it in my mind that I wanted a Pontiac Grand Prix. That was the first clue that I was not thinking clearly. So, I drove my paid for truck down to the car lot and paid way too much for a car that I didn’t need (and eventually didn’t want). It was impulsive and stupid. I sold that car six months later and took a five thousand dollar loss. My entitlement died soon after that.
What change has not been so good?
My bride told me the other day that I am not as outgoing as I used to be. There was a day when I would talk to almost anyone. Some of it was just fun to strike up conversations. While other times was an effort to make people smile. I enjoyed the process of getting to know people. If I am honest, the years have worn on and it has diminished that joy a bit. I am not the same where this is concerned. I don’t like that.
We were in a store this past weekend. My bride was busy shopping for flowers and we stopped to ask one of the workers where something was. He was friendly and jovial. He gladly shared with us what we needed to know and made pleasant conversation as well. My bride told me later that I seemed like I wanted to leave the conversation from the very beginning. I had to admit that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. That is very different from my younger self.
There are many other facets of life that I could look at and see subtle changes. Now that I am noticing them, I want to be even more intentional in choosing the paths that I need to go down. I don’t want to lose parts of myself that I cherish because I was too busy with things or didn’t make time to practice the important things.
The issue is not about remaining the same. I am cool being the same if I like who and where I am. The issue is changing and not realizing you have lost an important aspect of who you were.
Have you changed over the years? Do you like the changes? Or, is there something you have lost?
See you on Day 11.
The 740 Challenge 