How did I know she was the one?

We recently attended a family reunion, and it’s interesting to see how things have changed as we’ve grown older. There’s now a whole crowd of younger participants, which is both cool and strange at the same time.

During the reunion, I was talking to a cousin who is currently in college. I mentioned to her that my bride and I have been together for 25 years and will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary next January. She did the math and realized that I was her age when it all began.

The next question she asked was, “How did you know she was the one?” My answer was simple: she was my best friend, and spending the rest of my life with her was what I wanted most.

As I have reminisced about those days in 1998, I pondered what it was about her that made me so certain. Was it just one thing or a combination of factors? Let’s delve into that for a moment.

At the time, I was 19 years old, fresh out of my sophomore year of college, and sporting a rather ridiculous-looking earring (which she soon talked me out of). She was a couple of days away from turning 20 and was the most refreshing person I had ever met.

When did it all begin? Our official date is June 17, the day we went on a white water rafting trip with our college group. We sat next to each other in the van and played 20 questions. She answered honestly, and I wasn’t afraid to share my answers either. It was an awesome experience.

Throughout that trip, we made every effort to spend as much time together as possible. We would have spent even more time together if it weren’t for our van driver, who got a little too crazy with the brakes on Pike’s Peak. That kind of ride can make you sick in no time, and boy, did it make her sick. But even that couldn’t keep us apart for long.

We quickly discovered that we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Being together was simply fun and felt so natural.

On one of the days, I found myself behind the wheel of the church van, although I’m not entirely sure if I was old enough to drive it at the time. She and I were in the front seat, engaging in conversation when somehow we started discussing the kind of weddings we would like. It was all hypothetical, of course. I answered one of her questions by saying, “Yeah, we should do that for ours.” The moment those words left my mouth, I realized what I had said. I glanced over at her, but she didn’t seem to have heard me.

I thought to myself, “Dude, what was that?” I knew I liked her, but where did that declaration come from? Interestingly, one of the guys on the trip later told me it was pretty obvious that we were falling hard for each other. And he was right.

When the trip came to an end on June 20, which also happened to be my new girlfriend’s birthday, we drove back from Colorado and sat together again. During the van ride, we talked more and more until we found ourselves holding hands. She claimed that we hit a bump which conveniently place her hand into mine, but she didn’t let go once the bump was gone.

After we returned, I had to go back to my parents’ house in southeast Oklahoma before heading to a camp where I was working for the summer. It was less than a day since we had been apart when it hit me. I felt like there was a hole in my chest.

You know that Shakespeare line, “parting is such sweet sorrow”? Yeah, I call bologna on that one. There was nothing sweet about it. It felt like a part of me was missing, and I soon discovered that she felt the exact same. We expected to miss each other, but this was something else entirely.

Looking back now, it is all very obvious. I had just spent time with my wife to be. How did I know she was the one? All the signs pointed to the same place. Us. Together. Married. Now here we are 25 years later and I wouldn’t change a thing. I love her more today than ever.