I shaved my beard a few days ago. I will be honest, it shocked me a bit. I haven’t seen my face in over 5 years. After I finished chemotherapy the beard was my return to normal and I have wanted to keep it that way. I am in a musical in a few weeks and my character has to be clean shaven. So, I am being a team player and the beard is on pause for a few weeks.
What does this have to do with candor David? Hang with me, I am getting there.
After I shaved the beard my wife and son both expressed their displeasure. It reminds them of a time where I was not doing so well. But, I see it as a time to create a new memory with a face that I am not used to seeing. In giving me feedback on how I looked, my son told me that he had a comparison in his head that he didn’t want to say out loud. I invited him to share his thoughts. He told me I looked like Brendan Fraser in the Whale. Ouch.
In the past I would have been hurt by these words. I mean, come on. Brendan Fraser was playing a character who weighed 600 pounds. Really? That is what you think I look like? But, that is not how I responded. I knew what my son meant. I don’t look like I weigh 600 pounds. However, my face is full and I am still on my journey to be healthier.
I love that my boy can be honest with me. I want candor in my life. He was honest with me. I agree with him. I prefer the beard as well. I also love that he wanted to be honest with me and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. He is honest and kind. A good combination.
Do you embrace candor? What are your thoughts on how it should be handled?
David Willis 